Find solution
Do you know where we can discuss our pte issues and seek advice?

I need a life coach. But, not sure it's right for me, or affordable?

  • With the help of my excellent (CBT) psychotherapist, the last seven years have seen great strides in my mental health. But I fear that my therapist and I have reached our expiration date. Should I consider a life coach? Given my budget, can I even afford to have a life coach around often enough to be effective? In my early 20's, I began seeing my psychotherapist for major depression. She (an ADHD specialist) helped me to see that I was not only deeply depressed but also ADHD inattentive type. After two years of therapy, I began taking ADHD stimulant medication in addition to my current antidepressant and anxiety medications. This led to more dramatic improvements in my self esteem, stability, happiness and productivity. I also reduced my therapy sessions from once a week to once a month, and eventually "as needed". I've been back to see her two or three times this past summer. I came to her with some of the big issues I'm still facing: making a successful career change, as well as overcoming emotional spending and determining a money management/debt-payoff plan. Her suggestions, while helpful, were more focused on addressing my feelings about these ongoing issues. She didn't have much practical advice or insight, which is understandable as she's not a financial specialist or intimately knowledgeable about the career field I'm trying to enter. I communicated to her that I was looking for practical action plans that I could use to put my career and finance issues into perspective and keep me not only motivated, but structured. I also told her that, ultimately, I felt that what I need at this point in my life is a life coach and/or accountability partner. She understood and didn't take offense. But is a life coach what I need? How can I find one who will sit down and work with me? I have a very tight budget and have already eliminated all of the "unnecessary" costs from my life, so I'm not sure I can afford a life coach (although, of note, I've had to pay out of pocket to see my therapist since my current health insurance doesn't cover her - another reason why I don't want to keep going if it isn't helping me any longer). I just feel very lost and, frankly, alone. I don't really have a mentor (career or otherwise). And I don't think it's effective or healthy to go to my friends or family to seek coaching on my finances and career. I want someone in my life - a neutral, third party - who would be an excellent life coach and accountability partner. I've tried managing this stuff on my own for two or three years now, but... doing it alone, using whatever apps or other tools or tips/tricks that I've come across, just isn't yielding results. So is a life coach a solution to this dilemma? Where cognitive behavioral therapy has not only run its course, but I still have these two big issues that I'm convinced I can't figure out on my own or with my therapist? Is there some other solution I haven't considered? I'm laughing as I type this next part, but I keep thinking about how Lindsay Lohan had that life coach when she did her show for Oprah. I don't think it did much for Lindsay but, uh, I'm not Lindsay. That life coach looked pretty helpful to anyone willing to be helped. Then again, I don't know if it's realistic to have someone who will give me excellent financial advice and planning assistance, show me the ropes to change my career, and make fresh salads and do yoga with me after we discuss my relationship quandaries. This, in addition to my tight budget, is why I wonder if I'm being not only realistic but seemingly misguided in my desire for a life coach. Note: I read https://ask.metafilter.com/265802/I-need-a-cross-between-a-financial-advisor-and-a-therapist and have already tried many of those suggestions, which did not help. I want to reiterate that I really feel that if I don't continue to see my therapist, who is admittedly no longer meeting my needs, I need to have someone (a person, not a book or an online seminar or what have you) in my life to assist me with this. I feel it's imperative that I have the involvement of another person to help me with accountability and structure. The question is, what type of person or professional should I be looking for?

  • Answer:

    I think it depends on whether or not you've identified the career you're changing to. If you know what the career is, you'd do best with some mentors in that field. If you don't know what the career is, then a coach can help you with aptitude tests and targeted questions to figure out what the right career for you might be. I don't think you should solve the career transition and the financial plans with the same professional, but get separate expertise for those two topics.

nightrecordings at Ask.Metafilter.Com Visit the source

Was this solution helpful to you?

Other answers

Strictly for clarification and I will shut up after this: I have identified the career to which I'm changing, but I've had trouble finding a reliable mentor in my field (even after requesting one through the field's major professional association). My hope is that the life coach would be able to work with me to learn how to obtain and sustain a serious mentor, since clearly what I've been doing hasn't worked so far. In other words, I feel like the life coach would be a more intensive, practical step for me after having a therapist. Am I right to think this? Also, since I don't know if I could afford a life coach, I want to clarify that I'm also asking what the typical costs and fee structure are for a life coach (in the US).

nightrecordings

I think an ADHD or life coach could be a useful accountability person, and could help you devise a strategy for scheduling and staying on track with your own efforts, but will probably not be able to offer substantive advice on the issues at hand. Agree with xo - talk to different people for the separate issues. Financial advisor or planner for money stuff. For career - it takes time to develop relationships and networks. I think you might be stuck with making whatever connections you can, and following up on those one by one. You could probably approach this in a structured way (and the coach could probably help with that). Looking at your other question, though (which I now remember!) - it sounds like you don't trust your own judgement. Why don't you? Do you know what goes into your own decision-making processes when it comes to big life things? I think that would be worth looking at. It's probably also worth reading around decision-making in general. (I can relate to that feeling, though. In my case, along with anxiety about the cost of possible outcomes, I find it hard to completely trust myself because the things driving many of my past decisions - certain emotions, reactions to situations, vs. proactive plans and vision, a valuing of relationships vs. achievement - led to less than great outcomes in the past. I'm working on this, but I think for me, part of feeling more confident about decision-making means taking a hard look at each of those - e.g. reconsidering values - and reflecting on good decisions I've made and what went into them, etc.) So I don't want to say the answer is more therapy, but maybe it is? Or, you could do some thinking about it on your own. I know how you feel though. It'd be great if there were solid answers to big life uncertainties, but we can only do our best in the absence of perfect information, and see what happens. Good luck.

cotton dress sock

Related Q & A:

Just Added Q & A:

Find solution

For every problem there is a solution! Proved by Solucija.

  • Got an issue and looking for advice?

  • Ask Solucija to search every corner of the Web for help.

  • Get workable solutions and helpful tips in a moment.

Just ask Solucija about an issue you face and immediately get a list of ready solutions, answers and tips from other Internet users. We always provide the most suitable and complete answer to your question at the top, along with a few good alternatives below.