Toxic ex broke up with me and wants to get back together

• I'm conflicted with this sensitive, hard situation. My ex of 2.5 years broke up with me roughly 4 months ago due to him recently becoming aware of his issues (anger, depression, possible bipolar disorder, childhood issues, binge eating). He seems to be increasingly struggling with his issues day by day He mentioned that he still loves/cares for me, and wants to become a better person for me, build a life together but can't do these things until he gets better. We've talked on and off after the break up. He saw me out with a new guy and is now worried about potentially losing me and wants to get back together. My ex and I were together for 2.5 years and roughly 3 months before the breakup, we had a lot of sensitive issues brought to light due to both our insecurities, past baggage, his financial issues( see my previous post for more of this), me wanting to progress further into our relationship, etc. This is my second serious relationship and I'm still very much deep in love with him. I'm 26 and it's worth noting that he was the one to break up with me. After the breakup, we didn't talk for a month. Then I saw him out, and we were talking for a month after this (hooking up, going on dates, and still acting like we were together.) This in itself stressed me out because I wanted a relationship and wanted things to go back to normal but he told me he couldn't do that because he still has all these issues that he is fighting and it's not fair to me because he takes it out on me, depends on me for emotional support and his happiness. He mentioned that he should be able to feel happy all the time and not just depend on me for his happiness. I respected this decision(once again) but decided to end all contact with him. I told him that he needs to go with his original plan of working on himself and his own issues and need to no longer involve me in it and that we need to no longer talk while he is going through this. Hanging out with him and him telling me all this sweet stuff did nothing but confuse me, kept him on my mind 24/7, played with my emotions and made me feel like he wants the girlfriend perks, without the girlfriend. I realized that this friends with benefit situation wasn't benefiting anyone but himself. He would tell me often that he loves me so much, that this is very hard for him, that doesn't want to break up but feel like he has to because of his emotional turmoil that's happening inside. He's mentioned to me one time that he wished he was dead and feels that something is wrong with him but he doesn't know what it is. He would also mention that he wants to still have babies with me, marry me and move in and that he isn't interested in dating anyone but is focused on getting himself better so we can get back together. As you could imagine, because I'm hearing all of these things, how confused I was. After this, I decided to focus one me, doing more of living my own life without him and took my social life up a notch (going on dates with new people, got back into kickboxing, eating better, cooking more, more times with friends and family, and traveling. During the month, we weren't talking, I would say that I was at my happiest. Of course, I would think about the breakup and would get sad but I was happy in all other areas of my life and felt like I was back to my normal self before him. I felt like a bunch of weight was lifted because I stood up for myself and felt like I was finally back in control of my life. During this quiet time, he deleted, re added me and blocked me on all social media while finding my dating profiles within hours of me creating them, called me at random hours of the night, would be at bars I frequented, and just seemed to be everywhere. It wasn't until after the breakup that he gets more insecure, jealous, angry questioning me about who I'm talking to, got mad/sad that I was on dating websites(even though he was on there as well) and just in general, acting like an ass. Moving on to this month, I see my ex out last week at a bar and I'm with this guy that I've been talking to for roughly 2 months. I like the new guy a lot and we've been having fun but I'm still in a fragile state. I don't even know if I want to deal with a new person right now. This guy seems to likes me a bunch and is the complete opposite of my ex, which is great and he gives me butterflies but I don't want to hurt anyone based on what I've been going through. Back to that night, my ex sees us out and watches the whole thing goes down, brushes my shoulders lightly, kept passing me to get my attention and was talking to this girl for what seems like it was to get me jealous and my attention but I ignored it. The new guy and I were making out, and were super flirty with each other most of the night(holding hands, he would has his hand around my waist, hugs, and blushing). After I left the bar, I get a a string of angry texts from ex for the next 48 hours of him basically being like "I cant believe you did this to me," "I hope you're happy. Does he make you happy?, " you clearly don't love me anymore and I haven't been able to sleep and eat because of this," The icing on the cake was that he had sex with another girl the next night and of course, decided to let me know about it even though I didn't ask him. He later mentioned that he felt bad for doing it and that he did it because I hurt him and ignored his texts. This was probably the most hurtful thing he has done to me as I haven't slept with anybody new, just fooled around with one person, but I ignored the statement and most of the texts he sent me this day because I just didn't want the drama. I could tell the texts were getting angrier and angrier every time he sent one. After this all calmed down, we had a heart to heart conversation talking about our past issues, how we hurt each other, he apologized for a lot of stuff in the past that he has never apologized for so this was great. We meet up for coffee a couple of days later and tells me that he wants to be with me and wants me in his life, wants to still settle down with me, live together, have children, get married and make this work, couldn't bare losing me, knows that he fucked up and pushed me away but that he is sorry and wants to work on it.He is going to therapy for his issues but hasn't been in about 3 weeks but plan on going back this week. I told him that I don't want to jump into anything too quickly and that we need to take it one day at a time. I'll continue to date the new guy and anyone else that I choose while I figure out what I want to do but I need to decide soon because honestly, I don't even know if I want to be with anybody, including him. This whole situation has made me annoyed with relationships and men and I hate getting caught up in drama. Clearly, I'm stuck in the middle of what to do. Part of me is like I can find someone better who won't have all these issues, wont be manipulative or guilt trip me for living my life, won't make me believe that I was the one that broke up with him, and someone who wants to be with me 100%. I've been trying my best to move forward as this is all that I can control but when he reaches out to me and tells me a sob story or tugs on my emotional strings, I cannot help but to respond to him , get sympathetic, or worry about him. Another part of me, wants this to work out because I do love him, see nothing but the good in him, feel very comfortable with him. We worked through many tragic life events together and he is funny, sweet, and caring. I'm just a little hurt, confused, sad by how he has been acting throughout this entire breakup but don't know what to make of this. It seems like he is on his best behavior now that I told him I don't know If I want to get back together. He wants to take me out, take me on trips, work on it all and be us again. I would love to get some outsider opinions on this entire situation, what to do and the best advice/suggestions! Thanks for reading!

• Answer:

  Oh my god, yeah, walk away. Just walk. Not least because of this: During the month, we weren't talking, I would say that I was at my happiest.