Why won’t you listen?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! We are going to fail!

Hey, I work doing some similar stuff and am happy to do a brainstorming session with you. Just send me a message. My impression is that you can make some progress by accepting what he says and then "adding" to it instead of contradicting him. Them: "We want the Colombians!" You: "Great! They are perfect for Colombia and I'm sure they will do a great job. Now let's talk about other regions, let's give these other distributors a chance with Brazil and Argentina. Nobody will be exclusive for the first year, we'll see how it goes, and if one distributor does really well and you like them a lot, for instance the Colombians, we'll make them exclusive and grow their territory going forward! This is so exciting!" Or something like that. Obviously there will be a lot more nuances involved. Also get other projects on board, it sounds like you're putting too many eggs into this one company basket.

You keep saying "This is a great opportunity." It took me a long time to comprehend that an elaborate fantasy was not necessarily an opportunity, no matter how well told. This is a gamble, a crapshoot, and you have to weigh the potential payoff against the possibility that that payoff is going to happen. What you've described is a situation where that payoff is very unlikely to happen. I'm with Murrey: Fire the customer, but do so with clear instruction about what circumstances you would continue to work with the customer under. But, really: Be ready to walk away. This is not the opportunity you think it is.

Whatever you decide to do, protect your relationships with your distribution network in your region.

I've found the books "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie and "The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People" by Stephen Covey both added greatly to my skill set in working with difficult people. Neither book is a silver bullet for making people who are behaving unreasonably suddenly begin to behave reasonably, but I've found that the more I've adopted the mind sets and behaviors discussed in those two books, the more success and influence I have in working with stubborn people. I have also found that there are very few things you can say to make someone change their mind in the moment, but if you are patient and not argumentative that you can often talk about things in a way where a person will reflect on them afterwards and reconsider their position. I can't ever think of a conversation that has been successful that has followed a model of "let me show you where you are wrong and I am right" (even when I have been so right), but can think of a number of times when someone has changed their position after a conversation that was more like "Help me understand how you see this" + "okay, I see where you're coming from, and it makes a lot of sense to me" + "in addition to what you said, I've noticed [this really important point that I want to make, said in a low key way] and wondered if that's something you're seeing as well."

There's not a lot you can do at this point with this project, but I'll share a couple of things that have helped me. 1) For you: take the half step back to disengage. My employer pays me to do the work that they need me to do. I may or may not always agree with the work selected or the method we use to achieve it*. I raise my concerns once, then let it drop. There may or may not be reasons that a particular path was chosen - I may not have all the pieces used to make the decision. When a method I don't agree with is chosen*, I let it go and do the best I can. It's like water - let it flow through you. I sense a lot of frustration at what could have been, but I've found that if you can be just a little bit detached, it can help you when you go into the meetings with your client. If you can act neutral about the options (even if there's one you KNOW is right) people tend to listen to you more when you argue in favor of a particular option. It's really weird, but it works. My most successful influencing attempts have been when I can get into a Zen mode where all options are fine by me (even if they really aren't). Also: learn your partner's motivations. I have a project manager who, when stressed out, calls meetings to freak out about the timeline, whether it's called for or not. The timeline is his #1 motivation, and if you meet the timeline, whatever it is, he's golden. I have another team mate who is solely motivated by being the expert. If you can showcase how he is the expert while also bringing up a counterpoint to one he has made, he's more likely to listen to you. It sounds manipulative, and I suppose you can make the argument that it is, but I see it more as understanding where people are coming from, so that I can address what drives them in the interaction and still get my point across. It sounds like (to me, an Internet stranger) that your partner really wanted to prove his chops, to the point that he overpushed. One thing you could have used to help work with him was to sandwich - "James, I really appreciate the expertise you bring to this discussion, especially with regards to sales and marketing. I want to help you broaden your network to include more countries, so we can really impress your company with your abilities. I think the best way to do that is to include the Brazilians and Argentinians on our next call. What do you think? I think it would be great to show your company how you're really working different angles, so that you have secondary markets lined up! Let me know if your calendar is up to date, and I'll be glad to schedule those calls." It sounds dumb, but if you can make people be the hero in their own story, they will love you for it. And 9 times out of 10, that's really what you both want in the end. I think some of your frustration is that you saw how he could really shine, but feel like he blew it. 2) for prevention in the future: You may want to start with a small introduction to culture at the beginning of the project, and remind the client that they're hiring you at least in part because you understand the cultural climate and know how to navigate it. Culture is a big unspoken in a lot of projects, and it helps SO MUCH when you can show concrete examples of why doing X brings success but doing Y will lead to a sudden disinterest on the part of your customer or distributor. A lot of people make the mistake of believing that if you have a common language, you've got all you need. As you know, that's just the beginning. I'm really sorry this didn't work out - it's very frustrating when you put so much energy into something and it falls apart when it didn't have to, and a better outcome was so easily within reach. I wish you the best of luck on your future projects. *Just to be clear, we're talking about strategy (like 3rd party cloud versus in house servers for data storage). I'm not talking about ethics. Violating company policy or personal ethics is a whole 'nother category, and worth yelling about from the rooftops until the situation is resolved.

I agree that you should probably fire this customer, but at this point, what do you have to lose by telling him he is flat out wrong and that you are going to walk if he continues to ignore the advice he sought out. There comes a time to stop tiptoeing around and be straight.

he will not listen to our recommendations and is putting us on the brink of failure As I understand it, you are consultants, and you believe your client may be on the brink of a failure. So I'm wondering about the "us." The only way you can fail is if this somehow impacts on your reputation, or if you don't get paid. You don't ask about those issues. So, take care of those, and move on.

From my years of strategy consulting, I can say that you cannot make anyone take your recommendations, you can only offer them. It's up to the customer what they will and won't act on, and all you can do is make your case. If this contact is not following your advice, then disengage and let him see how that works out for him.

"I don’t get it. He came to us as a friend and colleague for our expertise and then ignores it." I'm not in your line of work, but this is standard behavior for a lot of people. How many people take time out to go to doctors wanting their expertise when they are sick and then don't take the pills the doctors prescribe them? And since we're talking about big business even Steve Jobs comes to mind- He was told by all his doctors- the best doctors wealth can afford- and the few friends he had to get his cancer treated because his form of Pancreatic cancer had a high prognosis (unlike other forms that are basically certain death). Instead Jobs didn't listen to them and chose to cure it himself with alternative medicine. By the time he admitted he made a mistake it was too late- We all know where his decision led. RIP. Some people can only learn by failing and there's nothing you can do about it. This may be a situation where you just have to jump ship in order to save yourself because the captain has already set it on course for the iceberg.