Why do people bully me?

Why do people bully me or verbally abuse me? Please help!?

• Is there something terrible about me that makes other people hate me? I've got horrible low self-esteem that has lasted for years. I can't like myself and I am always thinking that others are better than me. I don't understand why people hate me and act mean towards me when I do nothing to them. The reason I even have low self-esteem my guess would be to say because of other people. I treat people so kind that they sometimes take advantage of it too. Should I be a total ass to people, would that make them treat me better? I can't figure out what it is about me that makes people hate me so much? I don't act like I am better than anyone because I don't think that at all. All I ever try to be is kind, do people hate nice people too? http://img834.imageshack.us/img834/1451/075ll.jpg Does it have something to do with the way that I look? I've posted a picture of myself. I cannot figure out why people hate me so much or hold so much hostility for me when they are around me. Or people think that I am a snob just because I am quiet even though I do absolutely nothing to them or harbor no ill feelings towards them. Can someone please help me understand why I am a target of needless abuse? From family and peers?

• Answer:

  I've been there in my teens and even later, although not as severe a case as you, and hardly with the family side of things. I can now see the situation from the standpoint of having lived 52 years and learned about people. Some people are just cruel... they don't know you well, so it's not "personal". Therefore, it does not reflect on your self-worth, which nobody else and nobody else's opinions COULD affect. In school and as a teen, this arises from... 1) People being pack animals and quick to gang up on those who don't seem to "fit in", to get the feeling that their own popularity (which they're nervous about, if they persecute others for such reasons) is high. 2) People, many until they're about 25 or even later, are extremely un-empathetic. They don't imagine how you feel - they're extremely self-centered and they only see targets which they can strike to make themselves feel better. It's about them, not about you. 3) Some people LIKE being mean, getting that emotional charge from attacking someone. Again, they wouldn't do this if they liked themselves. About families, some are just poisonous... it's not you. I used to have horrible self-esteem, figured that nobody *could* like me. Do not buy into thinking that anyone is better than you - if they're being cruel, then they absolutely are horribly deficient. If you think "yeah, but they have friends" as I did, those are friends who are very self-centered and who don't want to "lose a friend" who's being a jerk, whereas a healthy person would draw back from a friendship with a cruel person. I was just so shy growing up (yes, in part due to low self-esteem) that I wasn't able to make friends who could have provided positive reinforcement, although looking back at HS there were friendly, qualithy people there. "I treat people so kind that they sometimes take advantage of it too." - I don't know details, but you have to be smart about it while not closing yourself off, which is a fine line. Don't turn yourself into a jerk - you'll hate yourself for it. Your image link doesn't work, but most people have poor opinions of their looks, while when you get older most people really don't care. What really helped me was doing things that I realized I was good at. I started cycling more and joined the bike club, and started tae kwon do lessons. Martial arts students are really very supportive non-judgmental, and learning not to be nervous in a confrontational situation situation really helps with being nervous socially.. These both let me casually interact with people while providing something to talk about. (If you're thinking about martial arts, shop around for some place that matches your level of comfort with how seriously they take it and how un-money-grubbing they are.) Gotta go... good luck.