I have only a little to give but how to draw the line?

I think maybe it's time to stop seeing her comments about her situation as requests for help (even if that's what they are), and to start treating them as opportunities to commiserate about how poor you both are. It sounds as though you are actually in a pretty bad financial place too, but maybe she doesn't realise it. So next time your conversation could go more like this: Her "Oh my god, I have no food in the house, and my son is going hungry. I don't know what to do!" You "I know! It's still a week until payday, and I'm getting calls from my credit card company about my debt. I don't know how I'm ever going to pay it off. And I've been eating beans and rice solidly for days now." Her "At least you have some food in the house..." You "For now, but I'm worried it isn't going to last until payday. I've been looking into food banks to see if they can help tide me over. Do you want the addresses of the ones I managed to find? Maybe we could go together?"

If she is coming to you for help, I think you need to politely, supportively tell her advice is all you can offer, since she needs far more help than you can give her (and that's what you need to gently point out to her). "Puppetron, I'm starving and I need another bag of groceries..." "Friend, I am so sorry, that must be really stressful. Unfortunately you need more help than I can give you. I care about you and your son(s), so after I got you that last bag of groceries on Tuesday I looked into some options for you. I know you may have already tried some of these, but I hope there's something here that can help. I really hope it gets better." And then you hand her some printouts. And if she pushes back: "Oh, thanks, but what I really need right now is just this one bag of groceries for my son's dinner tonight..." then you say sympathetically, "I understand. But I'm just not in a position to help you myself anymore which is why I found you these alternatives. I'm so sorry, it's a bad spot to be in and I hope these will help." And then later, if need be, "Friend, I really am sorry but I've helped as much as I'm able already." Some of those options, perhaps (and you don't even have to suggest all of these to her, but I'm listing them not just for her but for you so you can see you aren't the only possible source of help):> Has she taken the father to court for child support? > Could you compile a list of food bank resources and do mention food stamps just in case she isn't on them as well? My town has a food bank, but we also have a thrift store that gives away food to the hungry as well and church-provided meals for the poor and also just general church come-for-Wednesday-lunch-and-prayer meals. > Has she looked into the assistance programs that come hand-in-hand with SNAP (food stamps) like subsidized cell phone service so she can save money she can then spend on food and/or gas? > Perhaps she needs to consider a move into a shelter or governmental housing assistance program or a relative's home? > Re: computer/internet, the past two universities I've worked at both checked out laptops for free, like books. Then she'd just need to find a place with free wifi like a cafe or something. Public libraries also let people use computers/internet for periods of time.

Refer her to a food bank.

Yeah, seconding shoesietart. Let her know that you can't do it anymore "but these people are set up to do it..." as you hand her a sheet that lists all of the local places that she can go to get help with food/meals.

any response at all other than giving til I bleed is gonna cause her to be really damned unpleasant to me at work, or at least freeze me out and make things super-awkward. I dread being in the same room with her for 40 hours a week if she is pissed off at me. She has you running scared, trying desperately to help her even though you're not well off yourself. This is not friendship. Sara is a manipulator and a mooch.

This is so hard - I got taken advantage of like this when I was in high school, by a "friend" who was pregnant and needed money for doctor's appointments. I gave her my lunch money and went hungry for nearly a year before a teacher figured out what was going on. Here's the thing, sock puppetron: there are resources for people who need help. Your coworker does not need to come to you, and you do not need to support additional people who are not your family. You are a good person, even if you say no to this. In fact, I would say you are a good person especially if you say no to this, because you are absolutely not in a financial position to help. You need to take care of yourself first - put on your own oxygen mask before helping others, as it were. You will need to prepare yourself to get out of this helping situation. Step one is to make a list of available resources for your coworker - a list of food banks, a list of church pantries, a phone number to apply for food stamps or other benefits in your area, a list of before/after school programs that provide meals to kids. Add to the list places to use a computer for free - public library, local college/university (if she's taking classes, does she not have access to those facilities? Don't they have computer labs or a library that's open late? They would also have programs for students in need, or in a worst case scenario, she could take out loans for living expenses). Then you have two options. You can have that list with you, in your purse or backpack or desk drawer, so that next time she asks you can give it to her. Or you can approach her first and say, "I am not able to help you with groceries anymore, but here is a list of resources I found for you. These places exist to help people in your situation, and I cannot afford to do so anymore." Approaching her will be harder, but it might mean there is only one conversation to be had - she will realize that you are serious and are not going to enable her anymore. Waiting for her to ask, she may try to argue or rebut your resources. But it's really hard to initiate this step. (Also, frankly, I don't believe that her sister wouldn't feed her son. If they are close enough to spend time together or for the sister to be taking care of him, I seriously doubt the sister would withhold food from the boy. More likely, the boy didn't want what was being served, or your coworker thought it made a good story - but I'm not buying it. She is trying to convince you that her family is literally on the verge of starvation, but I PROMISE YOU, if you stop helping, they will not die of starvation.)

If she can't take a reasonable boundary like, "I can't keep giving you more money and time", then she's not a friend, she's a bank customer upset that the ATM won't work. Tell her you can't anymore as it's become too much. Be simple and direct. Understand that most of what you're feeling RE: feeling like an asshole is likely coming from you, not her (and if it is coming from her...that's rude). You've already gone above and beyond. Put on your own oxygen mask.

Also this may be too obvious but her son is getting the free and reduced price school breakfasts and lunches, right? (There's generally a summer food program as well.)

This woman is NOT a friend: she's a leech. I'll bet her sister turned her son down for dinner for exactly the same reason you're here now, because Sister got tired of being drained by Sara. Your computer: tell her flat-out "I'm sorry, that won't be possible" next time she wants to use it --- don't discuss WHY it won't be possible, don't offer any explanations or reasons, don't say anything that leaves open a later time (don't say "it's not possible RIGHT NOW), just No, it's not possible, period. If she calls, tell her no. If she simply shows up at your door DO NOT LET HER IN. Send her to the library instead: every library I know of has computers available to use for free. Food: make up a list of food banks you can have ready to hand her next time she comes to you. If she simply sends her son over expecting you to feed him, don't let him in, just hand him a package of ramen and send him home. Again, do NOT give her reasons or explanations; just keep repeating "I'm sorry, but that won't be possible", over and over and over to her. So WHAT if she thinks you're rude: she is NOT your friend, she only wants to use you until there's nothing left, at which point she'll drop you like a rock. Gossip at work: don't worry about it, I'll bet your other coworkers already know she's a gossip, and discount everything she says as garbage. Her church: every church out there either HAS resources to help her, or can tell her where to get it. And I know this is cynical of me, but I've seen people switch churches because they've drained Church A of all they can get, and now they've moved on to do the same to Church B, and eventually Church C.