Who sits at the Head Table?

• My wedding is coming up in September and we're kind of in the final stages of organization. I think everything is under control, but I'm very uncertain of how to format the head table..... everyone (and every website) is telling me different things :( I think typically, it tends to be some version of the Bride, Groom, Best Man, Maid of honor, and parents. However, my father has passed away so he won't be there. I don't want my Mum to be sitting there alone and technically I guess I could ask my Brother to sit next to her, but then he won't be able to sit next to his girlfriend..... My Fiancé's parents are quite a bit older than my own Mum, and my Mother in Law has serious Glaucoma and is legally blind. I highly doubt she'd appreciate being on the head table "on display" (She needs quite a bit of help and has serious tunnel vision so she often knocks glasses over etc etc.) So I'm basically left with me, my Groom, the Best Man and the Maid of Honour at the head table. Does this seem absurd? It doesn't seem to be 'enough' but no matter HOW much I think about it. I don't want anyone to feel excluded either, but I just can't figure out a better scenario. (I'm English - he's Canadian. We're getting married in Canada, so again - customs may be different depending on which part of the world we're in!)

• Answer:

  I'm American (NYC area), so all caveats. However, I've been in the bridal party in 6 weddings, including my sister's within the last few years, as well as attending probably 2 or 3 dozen others as a guest. I've seen a variety of ways to handle this, and I don't think any single way is "correct." 1. I have never actually experienced a head table where everyone is facing the rest of the party (though I've seen it in movies, and know, from pictures, that that was done when my parents got married in the late '70s/early '80s). I think that is awkward for everyone, including any dates of the bridal party who have to sit elsewhere, potentially without anyone they know. 2. The "sweetheart" table - bride and groom only at a small table (sometimes on a dais of some sort), with parents of the couple either at a table with certain members of their respective families combined or, parents of bride at one table with close family relatives (i.e., aunts/uncles, grandparents, godparents, perhaps bride's siblings) while parents of groom at a different table with close family relatives. Bridal party could be at their own table or two, or could be mixed in with the parents' table(s), or mixed in with their own friends/relatives (i.e., where they would have sat if they weren't in the bridal party). 3. Couple + parents + maid of honor (+ date) and best man (+ date), but at a regular table, so not on display. Even if this is a regular table, if the couple is there, it will be the center of attention, but it won't be as bad as a "head table" perhaps. 4. Couple + bridal party (or some portion of it) at one table, parents at a single separate table with close family members or at two tables with close family members (similar to #2). Agree with everyone else though that you should do what you (and your parents) are most comfortable with. Is your mom close to relatives, and would she like to sit with them? Would it be easier for your fiance's mom to sit with relatives or family friends that could assist her/look our for her? My sister hated the idea of a head table or sweetheart table, so she and her husband sat with their siblings (all in the bridal party) + a family friend couple (mostly because that's how the seating worked). My parents sat at a table with their siblings (i.e., our aunts and uncles) and our grandparents. Her husband's parents sat at a table with their siblings (i.e., his aunts and uncles). The rest of the bridal party was friends so they sat at tables with other friends. The band was in the middle of the room, so no single table was "on display." Good luck and Congratulations!