Hair. How does it work?

I'm not the best at this either, but one thing I've found is that how wet my hair is when I put in the product makes a huge difference. For one thing, my stylist washes my hair, immediately (and very vigorously) towel-dries it, and then puts in the product. At home, I usually get out of the shower, kind of lazily dry my hair, then brush my teeth, shave, and get dressed before putting the product in. This creates a really inconsistent level of dryness if I'm not careful. Once I started paying attention to exactly how wet my hair was when the stylist put in the product, and started replicating that at home, it really helped. I still shave and everything before I do my hair, but now I check how dry it has become, and either dry it some more if it's too wet (I'm not as vigorous with the towel as she is), or add some water if it's too dry. I'll sometimes even completely re-wet it and re-dry it to get it to a known state. Seems silly, but it helps.

When you are at the stylist, you are sitting farther back from the mirror and in good light. When you are at home, you're probably only 2 feet away, staring intensely, and standing in ugly bathroom light. Stand back and get a better look at yourself. Relax. If you really looked like a hunchbacked hobgoblin, you would already have known about that.

-Seconding skipping the comb. With fine hair like yours, it will kill any style your hair can hold. -I don't think you mentioned this in your question, but maybe I missed it: have you asked your stylist to teach you how to style your hair? That's 100% part of their job. If you go to the same person regularly, try asking them to let you take a stab at styling after your cut next time, or ask them to narrate what they're doing while they style it.

Yes, I asked my stylist. She sold me http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000WZHGQ4/metafilter-20/ref=nosim/ (and used the same stuff on me herself). Her instructions were: take a pea-sized amount; rub it vigorously between my palms so that it disappears and my hands are tacky; work my fingers through my hair to distribute it throughout. So far, so good. Then—and here's where I'm falling down—I'm supposed to "arrange my hair however I want it". Uh, thanks?

A lot of styling hair can be really counterintuitive. One of the key pieces is less is more--this goes for product (you already know this) as well as the actual touching of the hair., if you're going for something simple anyway. Can you show us a photo of either your hair right after being styled, or something googled that shows exactly how you want it to look?

If you want your hair to look like it does after you leave the stylist, you need to replicate as much of the stylist experience as you can, not just the product. Here are a few clarifying questions to help tease out some potential differences between what your stylist is doing and what you are doing: -- Does your stylist fully wash your hair before she cuts it? And if so, does she use conditioner? -- Does your stylist blowdry your hair after cutting? If not, about how much time elapses between when she towel-dries your hair and when she puts in the product? -- Does your stylist also part your hair on the left side, in the same place you normally do? -- Do you ever use hair conditioner as part of your morning routine? -- At what point in your morning routine do you put product in your hair? -- What specific product(s) have you tried, and is it the same type (i.e. clay, mud, etc -- not brand) of product your stylist uses?

I use the product just like the stylist showed me (and use it sparingly)—but no matter long I stand in front of the mirror pushing pieces of hair around, I just end up with a violent clash of non-Euclidean nonsense on my head. Like, it looks worse than it did before I put the product in. What are they using in your hair vs. what are you using in your hair?

I am a lady but I have a straight, fairly fine hair that I wear very short. This is my usual weekday routine. I wash my hair every 2-3 days. On the intervening days I just use conditioner in the shower. Either way I then, towel dry, part with a comb so it's straight, but then kind of muss forward it in the general direction I want it to dry with my fingers. Let it air dry a bit while I brush teeth, get dressed. Take a really small amount of clay pomade out of the jar, rub onto hands, work into my damp or sometimes totally dry hair. You want to add some texture to your hair but not so much that you're weighing it down. In terms of mussing "technique", I work it through and then I grab little sections of hair and kind of twirl them together, to create pieces.

I found that what really helped me personally after showering/towel drying was styling with wax (it would work with clay too) and then running a http://www.amazon.ca/Generic-Piece-Shampoo-Brush-Random/dp/B00SKSSTMK/ref=sr_1_10?ie=UTF8&qid=1431801365&sr=8-10&keywords=shampoo+brush through my hair as the final styling step. I ended up with a uniform "hold" and a relatively un-styled look.