Job interviews, no offers and dealing with negative judgment from others

Stop telling them stuff. Yeah, it's probably not the most mature response, but it's very effective. In the last few years I have become so exhausted by endless questioning about certain things going on in my life that I no longer share anything important with certain people unless it's absolutely necessary. Since your family members are already aware of this ongoing issue, it may require a few "I'm not going to discuss this with you anymore because your response upsets me," but over time you can get there. Just phase them out of being involved with this part of your life, and keep plugging along on the job search. It's hard out there; I have been a hiring manager for jobs where we've had to turn away really great candidates because the pool of qualified applicants was just too big.

I don't how you should deal with your family members of if anything is wrong with you but I quit a job about 4 years ago and it took me a year and a half to get another job - and there's nothing wrong with me. One of my kindest interviewers (many were not nice and some never even got back to me after the interview) was an Fed atty in SF. When I mentioned breaking my leg during the job search to explain why I had that big gap in employment he said "With a true unemployment rate of 12%, you don't need to explain that gap away. It's a hard time to be job hunting." I could have kissed him. Though the recession has improved it IS still a hard time to be job hunting, and the rejection one feels when not getting the job can really weigh on a person. Good luck with your family, good luck with the hunt and you hang in there.

Have you had friends contact your references to test what they're saying ?

Stop allowing your sister and mother to debrief you about your interviews. If they have not been on the market since before the crash, they have no idea how incredibly hard things are. Do not try to defend yourself. Deflect, as @jon1270 suggests, or just walk away. If you keep walking away from enough unwanted conversations, they will eventually figure out that this is not a topic for discussion. They will likely try to tell you they want to help -- tell them that they are not helpful and ask them about the weather or The Voice or whatever to change the subject.

Shock them- next time that they say anything close to that, agree with them. Then start listing all of your faults and say you might as well just give up and go live in a box. They are trying to help but they are doing it in a way that hurts. Show them that it hurts. If they don't stop after that then, they may be your problem. It is really hard to go out into the world with confidence when you have people picking you apart all the time. And it is really hard to land a job right now.

Ugh, job searching sucks. I recently went through this--about 12 interviews until I was offered a full time position. My solution was to only share with people who were supportive and understood. That meant my mom got to hear all about every scheduled interview because she was a super trooper cheerleader who never made me feel down, but my dad basically got no updates--"yeah, job searching, that's a thing mm hmm how's aunt myrtle?"--because he flipped back and forth between basically asking what I was doing wrong and telling me the economy was in shambles and I should probably stock up on canned goods before the imminent collapse of society (also not what I needed to hear when prepping for an interview). Job searching is discouraging and demoralizing, surround yourself with people who will help you keep on going. Hang in there. It'll happen. Job searching is tough because there's no set end point that you're working toward, but things change fast. You could be celebrating your new job in a week.

Do you live with them? If so, it's going to be harder to ignore them (though you should anyway). If they're relentless, ask them point blank, "do you actually know what you're talking about? Do you know my industry? Have you looked for a job in the past nine years? Things have changed". You could try sharing a few articles about the actual state of affairs, because they're clearly deluded about that. Maybe you could share a bit of your process with them, so they know you're working on it. Also share articles about the psychological impact of unemployment, and how to support someone who's unemployed (http://money.usnews.com/money/blogs/outside-voices-careers/2013/01/09/8-ways-to-help-your-job-searching-friend-or-relative). Tell them that in order for you to keep up your efforts and not be ground down by them - in order for the search to be successful - you need either positivity or silence, and lots of patience. Also - they're probably worried about you, and are heavily invested in the outcome. Tell them it's ok to feel that way, but it's incredibly unhelpful for you to actually hear about it, because you've already got your own anxiety to carry. If they need to express those feelings, they can do it amongst themselves. If you don't live with them and they're not literally in your face all the time, yeah, just deflect and walk away. (I know you're not asking for input on your actual search, so sorry for this, but just in case... If you're making it to the short list, people like you, and the things you're hearing are "You'd be an asset somewhere; we just went with someone with experience in X," "You're well spoken" and "You have good transferable skills.", I am betting there's nothing wrong with you at all, you're probably doing an outstanding job of selling yourself. It's probably just that there are enough candidates that employers are free to go with people who exactly meet their requirements (the right titles, the right number of years of experience in that particular sector). I know someone with eight years of progressive experience in a particular field, who's been turned down more than once because the jobs she was applying to were in industries just a shade to the left of the one she's been working in. It's that competitive right now. If that's what's going on, maybe it would help to focus more on jobs that line up as much as possible with past roles, in your specific industry, even if there aren't that many of them.)

Challenge them to get a job offer. If it's so easy, they should be able to get one in no time flat.

I have not had a friend contact my references. However, back in my more passive job search days, a reference reached out to me to mention he was called. I don't know exactly what he told the hiring manager, but he said something like "Hey intheigloo, I talked to B from So-and-So and I told her good things about you." That hiring manager, though, ended up using the "more experience" card to reject me. But I can at least assume I was in the top 3-5 candidates if she called my references.