What is your career? Do you love it?

What's it like to settle for a career that you don't love?

• For many people stability is more important than finding the right challenge. I'd like to hear from people that either never jumped to find that right career or did and ultimately returned for stability's sake. Of course the "right" career and the "stable" career are not mutually exclusive.

• Answer:

  It feels like having wings and never attempting to fly because that would require some falling and getting up. You see others flying whenever you look up at the sky, but convince yourself that your nest must surely be more comfortable than the clouds. You never settle for a career you don't love. It's never a career if you don't love it, it's only a job. I always wanted to go for English Literature after school, though I had chosen science back then. I always felt I belonged to Shakespeare more than Tesla. That if an apple would have fallen on my head, I would have either eaten it or introspected if the people with the most ripened integrity escape from comfort only because they have outgrown it; but would have definitely not thought that my planet had a massive force borne of its large mass, that pulled fruits down to the soil. When my physics teacher told me every action had an equal or opposite reaction, I wondered if what goes around in the world actually comes around. I felt offended when anyone defined love as dopamine in the brain; for me it was always about the heart. But when the time came for me to go chase my dreams and had nothing pulling me back, I felt gravity pulling me back this time. The gravity of uncertainty. I felt I wasn't ready to go for my passion, since I doubted if I was good enough. Literature was about how accurately you can tell the audience what it felt like when you lost yourself. Was it like running into the woods and not finding your footprints back home? Or was it like an alzheimer's stricken priest who forgot his religon? I felt I wasn't mature enough to comprehend a situation to an extent that I can conceive an analogy. Science felt easier. It made me realise keeping life in inertia would be comfortable, while changing its direction needed some force. Some energy I couldn't afford to spend at that time. Now being in a medical college, I feel choked sometimes. Like being fed chicken momos though you are a vegan. But at least chicken momos are tasty. I use my scalpel more than my pen here, and mostly found both equally mighty. But one doesn't have to teach you what to do with the pen. I open up human bodies instead of human emotions now, and to a great extent it sucks. The organs aren't mesmerising you as much as allegories did. But then, you hold on because at least this nest feels free from risks. And that's the only reason you had got your wings clipped at the first place Whatever it is, it feel pretty human. Since humans are normally never happy with whatever they have got, even if everything had happened as per their plans. So you just live, and write in your diary about your regrets. You convince yourself that in the future when you have to support a family, those surgeries will yield finance faster than those poems could have. And then, you will be saving lives. But you will always remain confused, if books save more lives than hospitals. Caesar was never wrong when he told to Brutus "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars. But in ourselves, that we are underlings".