Where is the best club in Hamilton NZ to go dancing and party?

How do I get better at dancing, how important is it, and what does being bad/awkward at it say about me?

• Some brief background: I've never been good at dancing. I'm lanky and not particularly graceful. I'm not socially awkward, but I just never really know what to do on the dance floor, and it shows. I'm mostly referring to "freestyle" dancing (though I don't know any type of formal dance styles either), the type you would do at a party or dance club, where you just kind of move to the music; although I can frequently get to the point where I don't really think about what I'm doing and am not self-conscious about it (usually alcohol helps here), even if I'm having fun, the results are not typically aesthetically pleasing. The times where I'm having fun are obviously much better than the times where I'm not, but even when I'm having fun the people around me typically don't react positively. Now, I would normally be fine with this and accept it. But this problem with dancing has caused me a lot of discomfort in the past. Obviously, when I'm at a party where people are dancing, or when some of my friends really want to go to a dance club, I have basically no choice but to join in, and I wish I could do this much more naturally. In addition (and much more hurtfully), it feels like my lack of comfort in this area might be disappointing some people. With my most recent girlfriend, although we're both relatively cerebral types and dancing isn't something she does all the time, she has wanted to a few times (when we were with other friends), and although I didn't think it was too awkward, she later described it as "a disaster". We connect on a lot of different points and have a lot of mutual admiration, but I couldn't help but feel like she felt a bit less of me after that. Again, I'm not socially awkward; I'm actually quite gregarious and usually have quite a bit of confidence. But for whatever reason, with dancing, my confidence falters and the consequences are becoming too uncomfortable to ignore. On some level, it's not that surprising; it's usually impossible to talk to people while dancing, so it's evaluated strictly on what can be seen (and, as I said, both my physique and lack of coordination don't lend well to this). Do you have any advice for what I should do to get past this (either mentally, or in terms of actually getting better at dancing)?

• Answer:

  Take a salsa class. If you can walk and clap your hands, you can dance. The thing holding you back may be the stupid cultural bullshit that large parts of the Western, English-speaking world inflict on their men - the myth that our guys can't dance. It's BOLLOCKS. Take the class. Let yourself drop the belief that you are somehow incapable of doing what everyone can do. Learn to inhabit the music, and learn some moves. You will learn how to imitate a move, and how to freestyle. All those lessons can be transmitted to club-style dancing. If you want, take a street dance class as well, but IMO Latin is the best for teaching a man how to move.