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What is it like working at Tilly's?

What is it like to have a working daughter-in-law? Do you like it or not?

  • Note : This question is strictly for Indian parents having a daughter-in-law. I know the mentality of today's youth of India. Almost every girl wants to do job after marriage(there is nothing wrong in this). According to the youth, it is correct to develop their career and establish themselves. I want to know the parents' perception about this. So let me ask a few questions - 1. Does your daughter-in-law do a job? 2. For how many hours a day? 3. Do you really like it? 4. Do you sometimes feel that if she had spent more time at home, you could have been better taken care of? 5. What about your grandchildren? Do you think they are being well taken care of? 6. Do you wish that work hours of your daughter-in-law get lesser. For example, she is working 10 hours a day. Do you want her to work for say, 4-5 hours a day? 7. Do you feel that she is loyal to your son while working with other guys in office? 8. Do you think she is safe(safety of girls is a big issue in our country) in office? 9. Do you feel alone when both your son and daughter-in-law are not with you most of the time? 10. Do you think that in the race of today's world, children focus more on developing themselves, their career, and you are somewhat left behind and given lesser priority? 11. Who does your daily house works? servant? you? she? if she, then do you find her doing those things properly? 12. Anything else you want to say/wish/advise. Anything. We youth today are so much involved in ourselves that we do not have time to listen to our parents, what they think, how they feel, what they desire. Through this question, I want to hear you parents. Please be frank when answering. EDIT : After reading some responses, I have felt that Quora is not the best place to ask this question. The people who have joined Quora are mostly "open-minded" who have no problems with working wives which makes the quality of answers a little biased. If I talk to people outside of Quora, many of them have different opinions than the ones on Quora. Considering this, I will be soon taking this question down.

  • Answer:

    I like it. In fact, I like her more than my son. She works equally hard. She comes back home and prepares food. We have a home maid who prepares the food but she makes sure the food prepared is healthy for us. She takes care of my medicines every single day without fail, she is an amazing home maker. My son is not very responsible in that regard. I don't know what I will do without my daughter in law. Its been 4 years they married but now she is the guardian of the whole family. I have never seen my son win any argument with her. This reminds me of my early marriage days. Sometimes, i whisper to my wife - "Sushma, see, you were exactly like this 35 years back. Nothing has changed". She has taken over the whole family. She is the decision maker now. I dont know how and when that happened. My son used to talk big things before marriage but now he is just a silly putty in her hands. I just laugh at the way she controls everyone, which includes me. I have to hide in the bathroom to smoke Biri. She allows me to smoke cigarattes but No Biri. I can't resist Biri since it is my habit for so long but she won't let me smoke Biri. If I get caught, I have to prepare excuses and behave like a child. My wife often fights with her on silly issues and then I have to become the middle man, console her, as if I am her boyfriend. :) My son and my wife on one side, me and my daugther in law on one side. We play Ludo sometimes. I would like to say something to people who have a son and don't have a daughter. If you have a responsible son, you will feel secured and safe. But if you have a responsible daughter in law, you will feel bliss and you will know what heaven feels like at home. P.S: I went anonymous because I dont want my son and my daughter in law to know that I am on Quora. They already know I am on Facebook. I am 63 already and I feel embarrassed being on Facebook and Quora.

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I am a 61-year old woman and my 34-year old daughter-in-law works; always has. Reading your questions, I get the feeling that you think that a daughter-in-law is a sort of possession, like a washing machine or a microwave. You appear to think that a daughter-in-law only exists to serve and take care of her in-laws and that they have a right to monitor her, criticise her and change her. I treat my daughter-in-law as a fellow human being. She is not my family's property, she doesn't exist to only serve at our pleasure. She and my son live in Dubai and visit us for holidays. I have known many women whose lives were destroyed by interfering, dominating and insecure in-laws. I have seen the trauma they experienced because they were treated like a doormat by their husband's family. I have seen the suffering that my own daughter endured because her in-laws thought like you did; they thought that the daughter-in-law was just someone that had to be dominated and controlled. She just existed to take care of the husband's family, with no rights to dreams of her own. In college, my daughter had grand dreams, but these slowly withered after marriage, when she began living with her in-laws. So when my son married seven years ago, I decided to break with traditions. As a parent, what matters most to me is my children's happiness. Knowing that he and his wife are happy, and have a chance to fulfil their dreams, gives me tremendous pleasure. I want nothing else. My daughter's life and happiness was sacrificed at the altar of her dominating in-laws and their outdated traditions, but I could spare my daughter-in-law from meeting the same fate. I laughed when reading your answer. You are probably much younger than I am, but your thought process smacks of entitlement and unexamined prejudice. Reading your questions, I got the feeling that when you marry, you will bring home not a life partner, but a glorified (and unpaid) handmaiden for your parents.

Anonymous

IMHO 1. Does your daughter-in-law do a job? Yes 2. For how many hours a day? 10 3. Do you really like it? Yes I do 4. Do you sometimes feel that if she had spent more time at home, you could have been better taken care of? Nope 5. What about your grandchildren? Do you think they are being well taken care of? Yes 6. Do you wish that work hours of your daughter-in-law get lesser. For example, she is working 10 hours a day. Do you want her to work for say, 4-5 hours a day?  No 7. Do you feel that she is loyal to your son while working with other guys in office? 100% 8. Do you think she is safe(safety of girls is a big issue in our country) in office? Yes 9. Do you feel alone when both your son and daughter-in-law are not with you most of the time?  Not at all its their time - let them enjoy i had mine.. 10. Do you think that in the race of today's world, children focus more on developing themselves, their career, and you are somewhat left behind and given lesser priority?  Not at all 11. Who does your daily house works? servant? you? she? if she, then do you find her doing those things properly?  Maid .. me

Raghav Rao

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