This question is about my elder cousin brother. He wants to marry a girl who is from a different caste and his parents are opposing it. I am considered as an important member who has a say... Who should I support? Many want me to talk my brother out of it..

An orthodox family. A liberal, in dilemma, seeking help. A cousin who feels that he owes to his family. Who thinks he should answer to his parents for all his actions and is not free to love a person because of her caste, just because he is adopted? Well, let's start with fate, shall we? A typical orthodox family believes that fate determines caste. One must accept it and live according to the rules. Indians, especially, wear their caste on their forehead, if they belong to an upper caste and brag about it throughout their life. What about the other side of the world? People getting born into lower caste don't deserve to live? They don't deserve to love? They are an outcast?  I don't think I've ever pondered about such things, until now. So, your brother's orthodox family says, "Son, she belongs to a lower caste of the society. To hell with her will, her desires and her ambitions. If she is an outcast, she'll always be one. She can't change her caste. She can't go against fate. Forget her. We'll marry to a girl from our caste, even though she might not be as qualified or learned as the girl you love, but then - her caste matches ours, so why worry? Don't worry if she doesn't love you as much as the 'outcast', but she'll be a good mother. You don't have a stable source of income yet. The outcast's family won't provide us with dowry. This girl's family will. They will give us fridge, washing machine and everything else but true love. You need not worry about true love though, son. After all it's the caste that matters." This is what typically happens in a family, worried about their status in society. A person is judged upon his/her caste and not the abilities he/she might possess. The person is never admitted to a good school, is never fed properly and what not just in the name of caste. This means there is no hope for a better life. Is life a trap?  Wasn't it supposed to be beautiful? You said, many want you to talk your brother out of it, but I just wish if you could show them the light. I would be the happiest person in the world, even though I don't know you. Only if you could make them understand that love knows no boundaries, that caste 'was' a system invented and maintained by the narrowest minded people the world could produce. Today's youth doesn't follow caste. People are free today. I hope your brother's parents grow up too, to see through this issue, accept the girl and rise above the orthodoxies surrounding caste, creed and religion. Yes, your brother owes to the family. That doesn't mean he should be taken for granted. Why should his parents choose who he will spend his life with? Will they be around his death bed when his time comes? No, it'll be his wife. He will spend his life with her. His marriage is no joke. But who cares? The girl is not from his caste. Too bad. You can't help  much. You can't question your elders. You can't question their prejudices regarding caste and color. But you can reason with them. You can tell them that a person is a human being and nothing more. No other criteria describes him/her more than that. A person marrying another person is just about enough of data, if they are in love. If India is accepting same-sex marriages, caste should have been long gone. I wish knowledge upon the narrow minds of my nation. And I pray that you, being a liberal, help him get married to the girl he loves and not someone who is right for him just because she belongs to his caste.

"This cousin is adopted. There is a feeling that he owes something to the family, especially his dad who did so much for him." surely an adopted son, and a natural son, should be treated the same? He, I am sure, did not choose to be adopted, much as someone who is born would not have chosen their parents. I feel strongly that these are prejudices people hold without understanding what they are really saying about another person. Presumably an Orthodox Indian family calls itself religious, so it might be helpful if you explained to them that  We are all God's children, regardless of caste; that God intended all people to be treated free and equal.