How to fire client?

What's the most graceful, tactful way to fire a client?

• A particular client of mine is exhibiting an inability (or unwillingness) to accept my support, suggestions, or to learn to use the tools that I'm being paid to set-up for them. Now, I find myself feeling contempt and downright, mean-spirited, condescension for a client who is *paying* me for my services. As a result, it's difficult to force myself to work on their project. I can't make much progress for fear of the onslaught of emails complaining that "nothing works" because the client doesn't understand the systems that they've asked me to create. As a solopreneur with a full-time job, the "emergency" phone calls from this client are starting to cut into my "real job" at the cubicle farm. I am truly at a loss. **Does anyone have a script I can use or case study of a similar situation? If at all possible, I'd like to fire this client in a nice way without tarnishing my reputation or theirs. At the same time, I want to make sure that I'm very clear with this client that I will NOT consider taking on any future project with their firm and that I am utterly unwilling to recommend any another professional to work with them (I like my colleagues too much to do that to them).

• Answer:

  I have "fired" a few clients in my day. I usually say something along the lines of: "I'm think that I'm not the person that you need and that your needs could be best met through someone else. Here's a link to the local professional association  that lists people with the skill-sets that you are looking for. "I realize that this is inconvenient for you, so I'm returning the fee you've paid." This last part can be really tough to do when I've already put in a 100+ hours of work, but it makes for a clean cut and I've even had the fired clients recommend me to new clients who ARE good to work with. I've also become very good at kick-ass contracts that outline exactly what I will do, how the client is to provide feedback, and the percentage of changes that are allowed before a new fee structure kicks in. Welcome to one of the less pleasant aspects of going solo.