What is your career? Do you love it?

What is more important love versus research career?

• Ok, so this is an important question and has been lingering in my mind for a while. I will try to give things in a short detail, but complete. Background: Currently, I have started my PhD in computer science in one of the best teams in my field. The supervisors are great, work is great and I love my job/research. Heck, I love it so much that, sometimes I come to office over weekends, and work whole day. (This is common in US, but no much in Europe) Anyhow, the point is I really love research, and want to contribute something to the field. I am not day dreaming, I am making steady and good progress in the field in terms of theory and practical knowledge. One last line to hint at the commitment, is that when sometimes I do not understand something, I just feel like crying. I never have such kind of emotional attachment to something else. Question: While working on a holiday, I went outside for a coffee and was just standing alone. Somehow I just felt, even if I have a breakthrough, or even if I publish paper, I wont have anyone close to tell this. ( I have family, and close friends but they are in the home country). I had 2 relationships, and they were really good. I get confused what is most important in life, finding the love of your life? or performing research? I find it hard sometimes, that how will I find the one, while working in the lab all time. ( Which I love too) Concluding remarks So, I wonder and want to ask other graduate students, professor or any other person for advice. That what is important in life? family or relationships? How do you actually get to meet your spouse, if you are so involved in research? ( I wonder how Steve Jobs met :) ). What are the chances that you find some one in the academia, among your peers?   I am sorry for the long post, but this thing has been in my head the whole time, and I wanted some help.

• Answer:

  I'm going to assume that your infact looking for love, if not you won't be asking this question at all. Something is tugging at your heart, follow your instincts ! Here's a quote for you: “Happiness is having something to do, something to look forward to, and someone to love.” -which roughly translates to do the work you love, always have a life goal in mind and a stable family. And trust me, you *can* have it all. Cut down on unnecessary internet surfing or playing, work more efficiently, have a clear mind etc. Hope that helps yeah :-) Additional resource: