What can I tell my wife to reassure her and calm her down, she is terrified of me going scuba diving? I got my scuba license last summer but she doesn't want to let me go, thinks its too dangerous.

Figure out what the fear is, and whether it's a personal fear of hers. Quite possibly it's not about an abstract concept like "equipment safety" but a fear of being out of control, of animal attacks, of drowning etc. And see if you can find common ground on your motivation for diving. Then use four steps to address the fear. Normalize the activity: likely for her diving is an 'extreme' sport that's not normal. Find people in her social circle who dive. Find people she admires who dive. Show her websites of dive resorts etc. In other words, build up an impression that diving is 'normal'. Generate desire: highlight the positive that she can relate to. Show her videos of beautiful nudibranchs, of divers gliding zen-like over a shallow reef etc. This is not about diving - it's about being able to do that thing, or experience that thing, or see that thing. She may never dive - but at least she now knows why she would want to Change focus: if her fear is irrational, you will find it very difficult to convince her of dive and gear safety through stats and numbers. So avoid focusing on it. Find a way of making her feel in control of the situation: If you can, ask her to get certified (in a place where it's fun to dive). But if you can't, find a dive site that allows her to go along snorkelling while you and your group are at  4-5 meters (rich reef, shallow bottom, excellent visibility, warm water etc). You're not out of reach, and she can feel that if something happens you can just surface / are right there.

Just put her the padi open water course dvd, and maybe try to take her on a discover dive in the pool. 1 on 1 session with instructor (better a girl). When she loses the fear for herself she'll lose it for you as well

Try asking her exactly WHY she has a fear, and then respond accordingly. What is it that she feels is unsafe?

Best way is to get her certified. Find a female dive instructor or peers to get her to discover the underwater world. Knowledge is key to alleviating fears. Ive guided a lot of female divers. Some of them are over 50 years old.

I beg to differ from the person who said scuba diving is so freaking dangerous! It is dangerous if you are poorly experienced, not followed and corrected by an instructor and dive over your experience and capacity or want to dive alone. Diving is a pretty amazing and not dangerous experience if you go by degrees, if the certification course you attended was a serious and long one (not the one week courses for tourists), if you dive within your limits and with a good buddy and if you abort the dive when you see you don't feel OK or too stressed for some reason. Everything is dangerous when you don't follow the rules and your limits.

My wife has gone diving with me over 700 times in open ocean locations, despite having been traumatized by being nearly drowned by a wave as a child. I signed us up for a heated pool intro experience. She said she'd just watch while I tried it. But when the instructor showed up he looked like Brad Pitt, and a few minutes later she was in the water with him. Then she agreed to take the classroom/pool part without further commitment, but finally agreed to go into Monterey Bay with me. On her first dive she was nearly paralyzed with fear but a great dive instructor (now dead, sadly, from a car accident I should add) held her hand through her entire first dive, and she gradually came to love the experience. But she still is really good about NOT diving if everything doesn't feel right for her. But she wants to go on dive trips as much as I do. When there, she goes on about half as many dives as I go on. It is absolutely wonderful to dive with your spouse. And I should add that men dive more safely when their dive buddy is their spouse. The best way for your wife to ensure your safety is for her to go with you. She can also snorkel over you. -------------- So--she could take the classroom/pool part of the training, just so she knows what it's like. It's certainly not dangerous when the water has walls, so to speak. Knowledge is good for chasing away fear. Learning the equipment, experiencing it under controlled circumstances, learning the real dangers--all help allay irrational fears. --------------- As for the danger--the most unsentimental measure of dangerous sports is the life insurance companies. If you do sky diving you lose your life insurance. If you do sport scuba diving you don't. If you do real cave diving you do. Ask her whether she drives a car on the freeway. Diving is about as dangerous as that. Except you'll never get T-boned and killed by a drunk diver... ---------------- Diving is like skiiing. Bunny slopes, intermediate, expert, double diamond, yee-ha. Thus you can dive in the Florida Keys or Hawaii where currents are mild to nonexistent, water is warm, depths are shallow, dangerous critters are rare, entry and exit is by purpose-built dive boats, and you have a dive guide just for you and yours spouse or small group. Pemuteran in Bali is like that too. Use See Rovers there. Dependably safe. On the other hand, we've dived in wild currents, far from help if we got in trouble, in Raja Ampat--the Holy Grail of diving--and in leaking dry suits in murky cold water 100 feet down off Vancouver Island. Not for your wife. --------------------------- I wouldn't dive with someone who thought it was safe. Nor with someone who was prone to panic. Is your wife prone to panic in other circumstances? If so she probably shouldn't dive, except perhaps in very shallow, still waters, with a dive guide holding her hand. Pemuteran would be good for that. Are you prone to taking big risks? If so, perhaps her fears for you are well founded. On some occasions my wife has snorkeled over me as I dove. Just a thought. BTW if she snorkels while wearing a wet suit--say a 3mm full suit--she's almost literally incapable of drowning. Can't sink. And if she tries snorkeling in a wet suit, she might understand how buoyant you can make yourself in a dive emergency. ----------------

As a new but certified diver, I have to say... Scuba diving is actually very dangerous. PADI is somewhat irresponsible in not properly warning people of all the risks - they are a commercial corporation after all. Scuba has been shown to cause vessels to burst in the brain, possibly leading to tumors and brain damage. The pressure compresses the lungs nearly in half, which can't be good. A higher percentage of divers also go deaf, due to clearing ear pressure.  The pressure, if not cleared, can cause deafness as well. Pressure can also fracture teeth fillings. The nitrogen build up actually causes the bends in many cases even when the charts are followed accordingly. Usually nitrogen builds up in the joints, but it can certainly occur in the brain and this could cause a seizure. About 1/3 or 1/4 of people have a heart condition (PFO) that makes scuba potentially fatal for them, and they would be recommended not to dive... but since checking for this condition is complicated many people simply don't check. And equipment failure is also an issue - I've gone diving in cases where the tank strap was loose since they never really teach you to do this in class, nearly losing the tank in the sea (which could have dragged me down).  I've also had a dive where the valve was loose, letting water in with each breath - I continued diving since I figured I could manage with that, but looking back, thins could have gone bad quickly. Lung expansion injury chances are highest in the first few feet of water.  I think I read it can occur in even 3 feet of water. Arguably, the experience of diving can be had in aquariums, snorkeling, glass-floor boats, or submersible ships in some places. Your wife has good reason to be scared.  Diving is for the crazy, the ignorant, and the dreamers.  I limit my own diving to about 20-30 feet, and only do so when it's a really spectacular & safe dive site.  Even then, there are risks, but most experiences in life are about balancing risks.