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What is the best time to have a second child?

When is the best time to have a second child considering the age of a first child?

  • What is the perfect age gap?

  • Answer:

    there is no "perfect" age gap in my opinion.. below are some observations to that effect.. 1 year gap: some of my friends actually went ahead with this one (one lady in particular managed to make that gap 9 months.. yes, don't ask).. the reasoning was "to go through that diaper-and-baby-bottle stage just once".. issue as i see it will be 2 concurrent college tuition bills in the future.. 2 year gap: some resort to this option just to "take rest and make sure that the oldest child is at least sleeping through the night" 6 year gap: that's the one that my own parents went ahead with; "to make sure that at least one child is in school", so the oldest child can babysit the youngest one and can at least dress and feed self while parents are taking care of the youngest one.. *sob* there goes the story of my childhood.. *end sob* 10+ year gap: parents are either indecisive or there are some financial constraints (putting 2 kids through private preschool is expensive) or it was the unplanned (meaning "Surprise!") pregnancy of course, this result is an oversimplification and does not take into account issues such as problems with conception (happened to one of my friends) and other health-related concerns which can take years to resolve, thus causing that age gap.

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5 Years.  My daughter was born in 1998 and son in 2003 and it worked out perfect in many ways! So they are 15 and 10 now respectively. Here's why from my experience: By the age of 5 your first child is physically independent and also emotionally mature enough to welcome a new member in the family without much sibling rivalry the first child can be helpful and participate in care of second child in basic ways which helps the first child grow, eliminate sibling rivalry and build a strong life long bond between them Yet the difference is not big enough for them to not play together, learn somethings together and have fun The first child can have motivational impact on second - my son followed our daughters interests in Robotics but was also had his own interests that were different. In case, of Robotics my daughter is now coaching him In the long run, it will help you stagger your on-going costs as well as big expenses such as for college 5 years difference has worked out great for us in many regards. Personally, I think it is perfect!

Anil Chouhan

I've seen a minimum gap of two years recommended, since a lot of language develops in the first two years, and if you have another baby during that time, caring for it will reduce the amount of time you spend talking to the older one. Staggering educational expenses, as mentioned, is also something that weighs very heavily on my mind!

Dan Birchall

I personally love the two to three year gap.  I can definitely see the benefits of waiting longer as more time is spent on the older child and since the first five years of life are key, that would be ideal.  However when they are closer they learn a lot of things together not just while they are young but for most of their lives they will pretty much be in the same stages of life and development together.  This could (not guaranteed) to create an awesome bond between them due to the shared experiences together.  My two boys are 2.5 years apart and they actually tell me they wish they were closer.  The youngest of the two says because he is so much younger than his brother he is always slower, or not strong enough etc to make them playing together really fun for both of them.  But I know that will change as they get older, he just doesn't know that yet.

Keesha Pryce

My children are 2 1/2 years apart. It was perfect for me.

Monica Roberts

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