Find solution
How to talk about a holiday in Spanish?

My mother-in law is considered to be a wise and loving person, with great insight and life experience. People come to her to talk and listen. On a holiday she was tired and snapped at me in public...How can I see her again as the wise and loving person everyone claims her to be?

  • My mother-in law is considered to be a wise and loving person, with great insight and life experience. People come to her to talk and listen. On a holiday she was tired and snapped at me in public, telling me to leave her son alone, when I had a conversation with him (not even an argument - this was entirely between me and my husband. He wasn't even offended or in a difficult position). I (other people in the group as well) thought this was unfair and I felt very sad because of her disapproval. I know she was tired, but I never felt the same way towards her. She never spoke to me about it again and continued being friendly and wise. I would like to change my feelings and see her again as the wise and loving person everyone claims her to be. How can I do this?

  • Answer:

    You say you want to see her in the way you used to see her. That is the first step. Now, forgive her, and when it comes to mind, remind yourself it was a one time thing. We all say and do horrible, insensitive stuff. If you haven't done that by now, then your turn is coming. And then you will want forgiveness and understanding. Also realize that when you get older, stuff happens. Your MIL could have had a mini stroke that could possibly have affected her in the short term. She could have some other chronic disease that is altering her mental state, or just stressing her physical state to a point where she isn't the same emotionally. My FIL was a very even tempered person, until his diabetes started to really affect his life. Get a pretty helium balloon. Write your worries and complaints on a note, and attach it to the balloon. Go out, and let the balloon loose, allowing it to figuratively take your worries with it. Some people find this strategy helpful.

Gwen Sawchuk at Quora Visit the source

Was this solution helpful to you?

Other answers

I think this could be a great time for you to understand that people are more complex than just the dichotomy of being good or bad. You are having a hard time understanding her right now because just like me, not too long ago, was conditioned to think that people are simply good or bad.  Good is always good and bad is always bad.  People arent like that.  That's unreasonable.  We all have both the good and the bad, except we are stronger in the side which we exercise the most. Your mother-in-law, as much as people would want to talk about her, isnt a saint.  She is a human being and as much as her strength is being great and wonderful, most of the time, she will have those rare moments when like everyone else, she will be weak or wrong.  She isnt perfect and it is unreasonable to expect that. You may be right in your observation that it is unlike her to behave with you how she did and that in no way you deserve that, in which case, you shouldn't have taken it personally.  She could have some private issues weighing on her at that time or particularly uncomfortable or something totally not concerning you and you just happened to be who she erupted to.  That's possible. If you can move on from that, great.  If it continues to bother you because you have some reasonable doubt that you caused her outburst, then, speak with her in the most respectful and loving way you can.  You are family.  You are supposed to give each other the benefit of the doubt that you meant well for each other esp at times when it isnt obvious like this.  Other people's opinion dont matter.  Only you and your mother in law bec she is the party concerned. You can check with her of everything is good with you and if none, great.  If yes, improve.  You will have to work on it bec family is worth investing your time and energy for.

Natalie Niu

Related Q & A:

Just Added Q & A:

Find solution

For every problem there is a solution! Proved by Solucija.

  • Got an issue and looking for advice?

  • Ask Solucija to search every corner of the Web for help.

  • Get workable solutions and helpful tips in a moment.

Just ask Solucija about an issue you face and immediately get a list of ready solutions, answers and tips from other Internet users. We always provide the most suitable and complete answer to your question at the top, along with a few good alternatives below.