Is pressure from family members who are aware of the situation considered coercion or guidance for adoption?

Coercion. There are huge implications as to the impact of choosing adoption, and usually family members have no idea of what a life long sentence they are encouraging their expectant family member into doing.

I see it as coercion.

My firstmom says that while she was laboring with me, her father drove all night from another state, ran into her hospital room and strongly advised her to keep me. He told her that he knew her well enough to understand that relinquishing a child would haunt her for the rest of her life and that he didn't want her to feel that kind of pain. He then turned around and drove for several more hours back to another hospital where his wife had just been diagnosed with cancer. My mother's case worker was extremely alarmed by my grandfather showing up and documented this in my paperwork which was legally given to me after my state sanctioned reunion. The caseworker had a big job to do in the next couple of days and worked hard to convince my mother once again to relinquish me. So who was the coercer in my case? Was my mother's father being coercive in stating his opinion? He knew his daughter and he was correct. She grieved my loss for over thirty years. Relinquishing me devastated her. I think whether advice is construed as guidance or coercion depends of the motivation of the person doing to talking. My grandfather was actually trying to help my mother. Her caseworker was trying to collect a fee. In this case, the caseworker won.

i see it as guidance... i have custody of my 13 year old sister. she will be in high school this fall and with the numbers of girls in her class who are expecting we have had talks about this... she has joked about wanting to have a baby for me since she knows we want to adopt but it is just joking around for her... though we have discussed with her that, god forbid she should get pregnant while still a teen, that we would sit down as a family and decide what to do next... but it would ultimately be her choice...

Coercion plain and simple. Especially when they throw in "if you plan on keeping this baby you have no home, no family to come home to as you won't be welcome back in this house." No guidance there.

Pressure? Coercion. Advice and suggestions followed by UNCONDITIONAL support, regardless of the decision made, is not coercion. But if someone is telling their child they know best, and that she really "should" make the decision they WANT her to make...that's coercion. Most parents, in my experience, are incapable of only giving advice and suggestions, AND following it up with unconditional support regardless of the decision their child makes. I'm sure there are parents who are capable of this, but in my experience, it's pretty rare.

well, I do know that at the age of, say 15, knowing my mindset and maturity level.. for ME.. I can absolutely say that my mom knew what was best for me better than I did.. and, while I never got pregnant (can't, wouldn't have anyway) and had to deal with THAT.. I am glad I was smart enough that I usually understood she knew better and took her advice.. usually ;-) So, it's a toss up.. I think parents, if they're good, loving, level-headed people, should help their teens explore the different options.. I don't think they should FORCE, but they SHOULD "guide." But on the other hand.. I had one kind of mother, who me and all my friends went to for advice BECAUSE she's so level headed, selfless, mature, and wise.. I realize that not every teen or child is as blessed.. so...

I don't see it as coercion at all... Who would know best the ability of a mother then her parents or family members? I also don't see it as the Grandparents responsibility to step in and take responsibility for their grandchildren.... In Fact, I have always found that to be an Oxi-Morone because I wonder what kind of track record the grandparent must have if they raised a child who for whatever reason was in a situation that they had a baby they were not able to care for? Short of a serious accident or the death of their child why would anyone think a Grandparent should have a second chance to parent? If they were not able to raise a responsible child the first time then why would they be the Automatic Choice for a do-over? Just my feelings and Not Across the Board I do believe there are situations where the Grandparents have done the best they could parenting a child who ends up with children they need to take care of.... But, I have always found it interesting that people ASSUME that the grandparents did a great job the first time.... My Will makes it clear my parents don't get a second round match with my children..... I would rather they be adopted by strangers.

It's coersion. I really do understand the emotional maturity of very young women and the fact that, in many things, their parents are probably better able to make really critical decisions than they are. But, when you are talking about someone's child, no one ever has a right to tell someone either that they have to separate from their child or that they have to be responsible for parenting it. A decision like that can only be made by the expectant parents. I think COERSION into adoption is saying they absolutely will not lift a finger to help or support keeping the baby. I think GUIDANCE would be to talk, really talk, about all of the difficult things that go into parenting and the responsibilities it will entail and the ways in which life will change, and also talk about the bond a mother and child share and the emotional consequences of breaking the bond, and saying they will do whatever they can to help (in different situations it will be a different amount) if their child wants to parent.