Adoption in America: Who gets screwed over the worst by the adoption system?

Everybody is getting screwed here. Sorry but it's true. Adoptive parents are expected to pay a lot of money and told not to ask questions about how much they are paying or where their money is going because they will "look poor" and possibly not be allowed to adopt. First moms have an all or nothing deal and are classified as "brave loving souls" before they relinquish and heroin addicts or loose women after they place. And heaven forbid, they have a change of heart and decide to parent. And adoptees...well, we're commodities, aren't we? And we better not question anything. And darnit! We better be grateful. If not, then we're bitter and angry and mean. yeah, that's fair. And who is laughing all the way to the bank? The elusive fourth member of the so-called triad. The agencies. the lawyers. THE INDUSTRY. They choose who gets to adopt, how much they pay, which "birthmothers" get to see which file and who gets what baby and nobody says a word. Nobody questions anything. Blech! It makes my head hurt.

Lets see - ALL OF THEM Natural parents don't get the support that they need to make a full informed decision. They get told that they have an open adoption only to have the adoptive parents run. They don't get the full counseling they need. Adoptive parents get ripped off for thousands of dollars. They get scammed by agencies and facilators. They are given false information about their children and their children's natural parents. They are told to call their child's natural parents as biological strangers. Adoptees are denied their own truth. They are denied their records. They are denied their heritage and history. They are told to shut and be grateful for whatever reason. The adoption industry is based on lies, coercion, and just plain cruelty. It is based on the profits that adoption agencies and attorneys make. Its not about those actually living adoption.

Everyone, except the ones with the deep pockets. How can we measure one person's pain against another? Before I came here, I thought I was the only victim. Now I can see how everyone suffers. Anytime there are secrets, information being withheld, lies, and the exchange of money involved... everyone suffers in some respect, although, as the old saying goes, "The one with the most money wins."

Adoptee! For adoptive parents it's a gain. For natural parents they had a life BEFORE they lost a child, and they don't lose their familiy, identity, et al.

The worst? It's not a contest. The only people who come out ahead on the deal are the agencies.

Why is anyone getting screwed over? The child gets a family, the adoptive parents get a child to love, and the birth parents know that they created a family. I don't see the problem here.

I am getting very tired with this negativity here- I am SO sorry that some have not had a good adoption experience- but I am getting to the point that I can understand why women choose abortion over adoption- because abortion gets better "reviews" than adoption- death is better than life- I am sick of this

I have. I want to be with my mother. My real mother. Not these strangers I've been forced to live with and be abused by. Not under all this pressure to fit into their peculiar family, not subject to their unfair criticism, not doomed to be an embarrassment and a failure in their eyes. Yes, death is better than life in the choice between that and adoption. Because a child unwanted by its mother is already doomed to a life of suffering, abortion is a mercy killing. Even if she kept me my life would be crap. She doesn't want me and her love is as important as mother's milk to an infant.

in my instance i think that i was but maby not in all cases because i was kept from the truth and no my natural father is dead and i have so many ?s. that will never be answered by him and as we all know the answer from him is so different then the answer that i am going to get from my mother or from my natural fathers family. so i think that it depends on the situation. are you adopted?