Which New Zealand university should I go to? (Vic or Massey in Palmerston?)?

I went to Massey in Palmy. Small town, not too bad with a free bus service as you mentioned. The perks are that the gym is also very cheap and the students are more tight knit as it is a more campus lifestyle (The uni being a wee bit isolated from the town). Everything closes at 5:30pm though which can be a wee bit odd, but overall it wasn't bad. When you make a few friends Palmy is alright (It's who your with not where you are to have a good time) I also worked in Welly. Bigger place obviously and public transport is good by NZ standards. So that shouldn't be a problem. I'd imagine less of a campus lifestyle though and as you mentioned cost of living is higher as well. To be honest you will be busy with study alot of the time I presume so the big city life won't impact on you too much, Choose which ever one is better recognised in your field of study, good luck

Just reading "between the lines" Harmony, it sounds as though you have already made up your mind and seeking reassurance. From the information in your extensive question it certainly sounds as if Wellington and Victoria is the place for you. You can of course switch universities after the first year if it doesn't work out. You appear intelligent and well focused so academically you will most likely do well at any university, so it is a lifestyle choice mostly. Your mother obviously is well meaning but at the end of the day it is your decision to make and I am sure she will support you whatever the decision. If you end up making the wrong decision well thats fine - the important thing is you gave it a go and then be prepared to change. All the best and good luck.