Why spend time and/or money on a carved pumpkin this Halloween?

Why bother buying any pumpkins? When there are soooo many Americans around who are freely distributing them outside their house for you all to help yourself :) Or look for their Basketballz ;) EDIT Oh, DIY? Ok then, for a bit of frugal fun and scare tactics at the end of the year: Well see those blackened oversized marrows that got neglected? Simply take a white brush to them and paint the word "BOMB" on them.

I say use Watermelons. A long overlooked halloween carving specialty. (I just made that up.)

Break into somebody's home and eviscerate everyone in it. Then post a sign outside: "FREE HAUNTED HOUSE! OPEN TO THE PUBLIC!!"

cabbage or a novelty turnip

Carving a pumpkin is a tradition that brings families together to get messy and create fun shapes in the pumpkin. When you light up the Jack o lantern, the kids feel accomplished. But you could also make something else, like make mini scarecrows, or get baby pumpkins to draw faces on.

Because we don't set out jacko-onions, we don't make onion pie. And onions are not orange which is a halloween color. An onion is not "equally enchanting"

Onions are terrifying enough without any additional help...x.x How about 'pin the tail on the teacher'? The prize for 1st place could be the hammer used to pin that tail on...

With the recession biting hard we couldn't pass up this opportunity to get the little ones out collecting food. Yet again however my girl Kumchatka gambled away all our fortnight's benefits on the happy days funtime Bingo and I needed all the food stamps we got for losing all our washing at the launderette for my cider. So with 10 days to go and hardly the milk tokens left for a packet of smokes, I've had to think really hard, but I really I think Ive got it. Luckily Kummy is the spit image of that really evil woman that put the kitten in a wheelybin on you've been framed, so this year, I'm going to empty out our wheeliebin on the front grass, have the little kiddies inside it going mew mew mew and Kumchatka can push it around collecting the top nosh and urinating in the letterboxes of the fascist skinflints. Plus it'll be a real holloween treat for the kids in the bin, they'll be terrified, especially if kumchatka doubles up on her phantom pregnancy pain pills

give away puppies instead of candy