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What topic would be the most interesting to read about in a personal essay?

Can you read my college essay (Different topic)?

  • Yeah, sorry I posted that other one; I reread it today and thought what the hell was I talking about... Last time I write something at 1 am.... Also If you could tell me where I ...show more

  • Answer:

    You definitely answer the prompt, and admissions would definitely learn something interesting about you. However, it was just kinda boring to read. This isn't an essay that is going to make admissions officers remember you. I would go through it again to try to make it more interesting. I think it would be more interesting if you actually showed what it is like to live how you did in your essay instead of just explaining it. Use vivid imagery as well. Now, I don't want you to think I'm saying your writing is horrible. I'm just saying that it can be improved. It is a rough draft that you can change. I won't correct your essay by each sentence but overall I think that's how you can improve it since it is your essay. Best of luck! Hope you get into the school of your choice!

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rather short, but otherwise fairly decent. What does "whose parents work 3 brought it upon themselves" mean in the third paragraph? If i were your professor, i would grade it around a B. Hope this helped!

Qwerty

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