What should I do if I'm in love with my boyfriend's best friend, who is also my best friend?

This is really messy. Obviously the friend doesn't equally share the same feelings for you because he is choosing his friendship with his best friend over you. And of course everything seems amazing with the friend now. It's new!!! It's different!!! Don't let that blind you with the realities of life. Things change, people change and this feeling that you're having now will change. You have a child to think about now, it's not all about you anymore. I think you should forget the whole thing...at least for now. Move out and figure things out on your own. The relationship you have with your boyfriend is forever tainted. You don't love him, let him go so he can find someone who does.

Let me tell you that I am a traditionalist when it comes to relationships, specially if there is a young kid involved. I believe that any relationship, no matter how old, is a work in progress. You have to constantly work on it to make it work. With this philosophy, here is my take on your situation. l don't think any 5 year old relationship with a 2 year old kid can ever hope to have 'spark' in it - at least not in the way a new relationship has. So what you are missing is probably non existent in the real world. The high that the new guy gives you is probably less than what your current boyfriend gave you when you decided you want to have a child with him. Think about that. What have you done to save and repair your relationship with your current boyfriend? Have you taken a week off for a trip - just the 3 of you? tried to really talk it out?  Tried a one week break from him? Visited a relationship counselor? This is a relationship -not an iphone that you can upgrade just because it dose not 'wow' you enough now! Half the reason for the excitement and attraction could be because new guy is the 'Forbidden Fruit' - are you sure that this will sustain? The new guy - he is reluctant. Even if you manage to bulldoze him and get him to accept you, do you think you will be able to assuage his guilt on cheating on his best friend in the long term? That is like trying to buying a house pre fitted with a land mine! How long is this new thing? Two weeks! You are comparing two weeks with a 5 year relationship? That's not love - that's called a crush! If you have to end the relationship with your current boyfriend - do it gracefully. What you are trying to do right now is called backstabbing. If you have ever loved him - do think of the fact that your plans, if successful,will result in his girl friend walking out AND his son being taken away AND his best friend leaving him.This triple whammy might destroy him completely (I am assuming you will get the child) As pointed out by if you have to leave him, your first priority should be on working out how are you going to minimize the impact of this on the child and then think about another relationship. Please remember that all long term relationships with kids loosely follow what is known as the 'W' curve. (I couldn't find a picture so I quickly drew one - not very nicely drawn but gets the point across) So what you are hitting is probably the first low of your relationship - Things are probably gonna get better now! Just give it some more time. Thanks for the A2A!

Okay. You need to step back. STEP BACK NOW. Think about it. In reality you need to figure out what's going on with you, your son and your soon to be ex-husband. DO NOT get into a new relationship before ended your current one. This seems like a really fucked up situation but if this new guy feels as much for you as you do for him then he will tell your husband the truth and you two will be together, further down the line. Get your priorities straight and also do what's right for your child. What your feeling for the other guys may just be lust also. Give it some time. Settle down away from you husband and then bring him around.

"Well  after my boyfriend finding out about the feelings between the friend  & I now the friend has told me that he doesn't want to date me in  fear of my boyfriend not bein his friend anymore" well this alone is clue enough that your friend won't choose you over your boyfriend. In case you decide to break up with your boyfriend, I'm seeing you'll be by yourself while your ex boyfriend and your friend will be hanging out in a bar, looking for girls, and having the best time of their lives. Also, you cheated when you were supposed to be rekindling your relationship with your boyfriend. Think about that.

I willing to bet you became depressed after giving birth and the ensuing first year or two were very hectic and in you desire to be a good mom there is a sense about you that you lost what it was that you were or wanted to be. It's possible that you had an injection of oxytocin to increase labor speed during child birth and that has had a negative effect, perhaps even causing colic to the child, or postpartum on some level. Additionally the important thing to note is that what actually also happened in this case as with many others is that the emotional bond between partners suffers terribly, a woman who has a child is afterwords assaulted by her body's hormones most of the time. The emotional bond of oxytocin is associated with your partners initial moments of forming commitments and kind gestures of lovey dovey wovey teddy bear goodness. The times have made him smile less perhaps, perhaps his intentions are pure and he has put the baby before you thinking it what you would want, or perhaps your low oxytocin levels suspended your connection with reality in some way and you are living life with some false assumptions about reality and what is true. Perhaps he feels abandoned but cares enough that he was willing to give you time and in this case it was time enough to form a novel bond because repairing the one you have requires fixing what is wrong and creating a new one based on how both of your lives are now very different. Also, there is fringe speculation that a side effect of birth control is when you stop taking it your ability to connected through your primary bond is severed and you become stranded and must feel alone or seek a novel connection. I hope any of the babbling was actually helpful, I'm sorry I won't even approach giving someone any advice, I don't advise you take anything but knowledge and wisdom and see what fits with what your soul tells you is toward the light. :-)

A relationship is like a fixed deposit. It's value increase with time. Think a lot, a lot before you pull the plug on a 5 year long relationship for one that's a few weeks old. Read this: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2263518/I-left-love-life-I-thought-I-better-Now-Im-childless-42.html. Think a million times before ending a relationship as stable as yours has been. If you do decide to end it, the new guy doesn't look like a great reason for it. The "This is it" feeling that you get is nothing other than infatuation or what is called "romantic love" in psychology terms. This phase of a relationship has been found to have the same effects on the human brain as addictive drugs. http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2011/02/11/the-science-of-romance-the-love-drug/ DO NOT trust your decisions on this guy. They're influenced by your "high". Besides he's already made his position clear. He doesn't want to be with you if that costs him his friend. Even if he does get in a relationship with you in case you break up with your current boyfriend - this issue is likely to keep on causing strains between the two of you for a very long time now, and might even cause an end to the relationship. I understand the friend is an irresistible attraction to you now (exactly like addictive drugs :D). There's no quick way out of this, apart from not seeing him at all for a few months now. If needed ask for your boyfriend's help. Tell him you want to make this relationship work, and because of your feelings the friend is causing you distraction. Tell him you don't want to see the friend for some time now. Tell him you want to overcome your feelings and are working wholeheartedly towards it. In the meantime try to make your current relationship work by putting in the required efforts. http://www.loveinindia.co.in/11-proven-ways-keep-relationship-fresh-new-exciting/ Like one of the other answers here mentions, long relationships are bound to hit lows from time to time. It's NOT going to be as exciting and stimulating as your first year together - probably ever. Think about whether you're ready to sacrifice stability and long-term happiness for momentary excitement. I think not.

Chose the one who forever will make you happy, in this case, the best friend. But don't forget the kid, at least you should be loyal with the kid.