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What do Buddhist believe in and what do they want for themselves?

What are the best ways of finding out who I am, what I want and what I believe?

  • Everyday I struggle to figure out what I should do and how I should do it, who I need to be, what I need to change, what I need to stop doing etc. I simply can not decide things, I spend my life confused. I realised that picking all the macro stuff requires clarity on the deeper bigger things and when it comes down to it, I am not very clear on who I want to be, what I want and what I believe. What can I do to get a better understanding of myself?

  • Answer:

    You need to increase your diversity of experiences so that you can better self-identify by considering your responses to them. Seek experiences that present challenges and weigh potential outcomes.  Having had the experience, what would you change if you could do it over, or are presented with it again, whatever it is? As you have these experiences and attempt different ways of handling them, you will feel good about some, not good about others and still others may not leave an impression.  Once in a while you will come to realize, "That's totally me!" and now you have some understanding of who you are. You can also evaluate this through the life stories of others.  Read some biographies of famous people you find interesting.  How did they live their life?  Why do they do the things they do?  What did they value and why? Again, you may come to some experiences and ideas that resonate with you and those can tell you something about who you really are. Finally, you can explore very basic things like, "What is more important to me?  Money, power or knowledge.  If you could choose just one of those to have in abundance, which would it be?  Discuss this scenario with friends and family to hear contrasting opinions about which they would choose and why.  What would you choose and why?  How is that different from others you know well, or think you know well? Throughout this, you need to start thinking about when you lie to yourself and when you don't.  Perhaps the popular answer in the group is money, but deep down you really crave power or knowledge.  It is these kinds of things that get right at who you are. Truth is, it's not important which of those drives you, only that you realize which one of those really does drive you more than the others do. Group pressure might lead you to say "money" like everybody else did because it's easy.  If you feel that deep down tension that comes from it really being power or knowledge, resist the easy, put the real one out there and defend it! When it's all over, did you believe you did the right thing despite not being the same as your peers?  Now you know something about who you are. You can do this often in regular life too.  Lots of little scenarios present themselves: At the check out line in the grocery store, you have a large cart and the old woman or man standing behind you just wants to buy some bread.  Do you hold the line, or do you invite them to step in front to get their smaller transaction done while you wait?  Why do that? A common answer is to let the elderly person pass first because you can wait with the benefit of youth while they struggle with the burden of age. However, you might really want to get your stuff done first and you might not really care whether or not they wait.  There is always waiting and some of us wait longer times and shorter times, what is the difference? The difference is part of who you are. Now comes the harder part of your question: "Who do you want to be?" This kind of self-talk thinking will eventually lead you to some undesirables.  Perhaps you want to be the gracious person who insists the older person get through the line quickly, but you really are the person who is going to keep their spot in line and get your stuff done as quickly as you can. Why be gracious?  Is it that you will be old someday and would hope for a world filled with understanding gracious people?  Or is that something you don't really believe, but you know other people do, or that you simply want to avoid looking bad, etc... However you resolve these things, feel free to discuss them with others where you don't get answers yourself thinking about it, but always decide on the change for your reasons, not theirs.  You may agree with their reasons, and that's fine, but if you are going to do the work to really act differently, it is best that you yourself find motivation to do that. This keeps control of your self-definition yours, not in the hands of others. If you are very confused, it's highly likely you have not really challenged yourself in these basic ways, and you need to if you want to know who you are and more importantly come to know something about who you will work to be. Again, this only works if you can be honest with yourself and understand the difference between doing things because others approve and doing them because you approve and believe that is just and true.

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Its not just you, we all face these questions at some point in our lives. Past couple of years I spent much time seeking answers to the same questions. And I believe I found "my" answers, but I must warn you that answers won't end your misery. Seeking truth is easy, accepting it is difficult and practicing it is the most arduous task. And me or anybody else may answer these questions for you, but "your" answers you must seek on your own. Nevertheless, I put my views here.   I believe at the very core of it we all are pure Consciousness.  I've a body through which I experience life, a brain which my body uses to gather these experiences, an identity or ego which the world has given to me. I also believe our environment is our extended body. We cannot live without air, water and food. So the Life in its wholeness is me and my environment (everything outside my human body).  But when you get rid off your body, environment, what remains is just pure Consciousness or just pure Energy which can neither be created nor be destroyed. So just relax, do anything or everything  you wish but do it wholeheartedly and continue to do as long as you love it, as long as it makes you happy and when it doesn't, just leave it. Move on. There are no rules to it. The most important thing in life is that you be "happy" but remember, it should not be at the cost of others. If  in your quest for happiness you harm others, you'll harm yourself because we are all One.  Also, every action, every choice has consequences. Choose wisely!   “The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.”   ―     http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/2167493.Gautama_Buddha

Pranay Singh

Go on a long trip to foreign countries. Get a job in a business that interests you - or any business. Just do something! You can't figure out who you are and what you want just by thinking about it.

Henrik Ploug

Do some hard physical work It purifies the soul and gives you perspective Work may not be freedom but to push your physical bounds can give you huge insights I do endurance challenges because life becomes so simple. As I do them, I realise what is important to me, and then I act on those realisations. Most of the time everything becomes cloudy after a while In some way this is also like extreme poverty. When you run awareness of your body and movement are all that you possess. As you start to suffer you also realise that you have determination. That knowledge helps you change when to come to a pause.

Denis Oakley

i can deeply understand how you feel,i had this confusion two years ago,but you know,it will fade away slowly when i come to work all day,and talk with people,and so on.i feel rich inside in the beginning,so i thought that will help a lot. but when i stop working and talking,without the connection with other things, CONFUSION will come to me again and again! sometimes i thought nobody knows how to spend life,no one can give one certain answer, even it‘s really important to know. we can make sure that you will be good if you Contact the outside world

Youlanda Luciliya

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