Why do urban Indian women, especially feminists, dislike Indian men? Why do they post vulgar and racist comments against Indian men inspite of the support educated men provide them?

Lack of statistics here. So lets just try to estimate the validity of the concerns raised and other aspects of this question from experiences. First some personal opinion - I have seen many men having ridiculously low opinion of women. They don't consider any factor and argue for hours that how they are(women/girls) pathetic at sports, maths, intelligence etc etc ( though mind you, most are not, atleast not all are; of those who have been given proper opportunities and right mindset of equality - many have proved to be of same level as any other person.) But this question is not about that. So why I brought this up? As I brush it away at times, thinking maybe its just some instances seen by that person in life and exaggerated to this extent. Same can hold for those feminists(who you think are as described), if any such feminist exists who has faced it numerous times, it makes them think all Indian men are like that. Simple probability, applicable every where. For instance - I met one creepy guy in train once and now after almost 10 years after that incidence, I am still scared of all men in train. If it happens with someone couple of times, I'm sure they will shun Indian men like anything. Probably anyone bashing out Indian men, had too many bad experiences, a few are listed by @Aarti Dwivedi. Date/don't date; be bold, be shy, speak/don't speak - everything is portrayed as  bad. Second argument that laws are skewed towards women -  Again as @Aarti Dwivedi mentioned, irrespective of such laws, women face endless problems, in every arena. Needless to say - daily tension of ill-treatment while commuting and at any other place, for that matter. The insecurity is so high, that trust comes rarely, known or unknown person, its difficult to trust.  No women would like to step in police stations or courts in India for as long as she can avoid, till this date. I have seen people talking endlessly about that women who took divorce, who went to court, as if they are inhumane or something. Needless to say, we do need statistics on how many women, these laws have actually helped till date? Though around me not even 1. Misuses? Statistic please.  Its case to case, generalizations are generally not true - Out of the numerous amazing guys around, many fail to understand at times - the sensitive issues of feminism, they bring in all illogical mathematical factor, discounting emotional state and its impact, and stating its all a myth over and over again. I try to reason with them sometimes in vain but many a times give up, saying "you can't understand it by parameters, unless you face it".  Bad experiences in extreme cases, can make the generalizations pop in. Almost same as we (girls/women) hear all our life numerous things/generalizations, veiled as joke, as a fun thing to say that Indian girls can't do this, or that or are like this or that. But lets face it, its never meant like that, right?. But it demeans and leaves an impression that's so very hard to fight. Guys, unnecessarily twisting your every word(for fun?), well-meaning guys too, maybe unknowingly or for fun. But they don't see that its the fun at the stake of what? All men are like that?  No, ofcourse not. Sometimes you meet some amazing people, who make you forget the past experiences but then you meet again one of the previous lot and it all resurfaces. So this is no way generic and widespread. I would suggest, try to understand why someone says it, if she does. Or if you can't just for a day analyze each conversation/choices/opinions from a girls' perspective. (Do mind people's comments and opinions, for they are a barrier, no girl would like to break it, unless must). Each comment, each joke, each opinion, each derogatory comment, stays longer and makes an impact. You can't ignore comments like she got xyz because she is a girl etc. etc, all your life, while you are simultaneously discounted for promotion, despite doing all the work and being treated as a fool while your ideas are selected only after some guy told it. Maybe then you'll understand that these generalizations happens sometimes but they surely don't last forever. People are person, each one of different kind, due to different experiences and thinking, and being a feminist, you just want to help others, for what you have faced, not torture people in return by equally ridiculous opinions. Hope it helps.

What do you expect to gain from this question? Do you think the answers will cause some self realization in women or men and they will change their ways? I won't bet on it. Let me tell you what happens usually when the gender war questions come. Two groups emerge. One says women are victims. One says men are victims. There might be a third one who tries to take a neutral ground but that is usually ignored.   You end up fighting. Let's see how funny this situation is.   Quora community                                                     Culprits      A  (Thinks women are victims)                                 P (Male rapist)      B  (Thinks women are victims)                                 Q (Male rapist)      C  (Thinks women are victims)                                 R (Male rapist)      D  (Thinks men are victims)                                     S (Female vixen)      E  (Thinks men are victims)                                     T (Female vixen) Clearly, A,B,C,D&E are different from P,Q,R,S & T. P..T commit the deeds and A..E end up fighting on whose impact is worse. A..E hate P..T while P..T don't care about A..E. (Little unfair don't you think) Some or maybe all of the people from A..E may misplace their hatred and use it while fighting within the same community. At the end A,B,C,D & E get mindfucked and P,Q,R,S and T roam freely. The least we can do is unite ourselves as a society, make life hell for P..T. Let's make them hate us too. Let's make it a fair game. There is no point in ranting here. If you want things to change, you'll have to be the voice. But understand no generalization of Indian men or women you do will ever be accurate. PS - Personal opinion is reflected in the terminology. Male rapists outnumber female vixens.

I started writing an answer. It took me 1 hr, with like 3 pages. And then, I realized; I cant change someone's opinion, just by writing a few good lines and quotes, especially when question is so controversial so I preferred to write only the crux.. Point is, Be the change you want to see in the world. Stand up for what you believe in. Don't expect anyone else to stand up for you. Laws are skewed in every part of the world. Life isn't always fair. Don't always talk about data. No one is idiotic enough to not know what's happening around. But, always remember, that the limit of your freedom, is up to the tip of my nose. Give respect - Get respect. There are only 2 kinds of people in world - GOOD AND BAD. They are not men or  women..black or white, high-caste, or low-caste.... Even if you don't give a fuck about someone's opinion, be humane enough to listen to it and understand it before u start bashing him/her. P.S. FOR ALL BOYS- Length of cloth on a girl's body, isn't a measure of her character. And Girls might lack few IQ points, but, they have pretty bad-ass 6th sense. PPS-(for the person, who suggest edit) I never won any prize in debate , or any kinda essay writing competition in my school(seems obvious!!). so, be kind and d'nt mind my lack of better words.    I am too lazy write long answers. and i didnt answer to expect upvotes, or sumthing. so, i dnt mind my "SMS-style". untill, the reader understand, what m trying to say. This is just my view of the current problem.    And to your objection abt generalisation of girls with low IQ....For that...IQ of a person is directly proportional to amount of sulci-gyri on cerebral cortex, which...As a fact..girls arn't very endowed with..(u can check anywhere...online , or offline for that).  still thanks for suggestion.

All I can say about this question is that this question is a myth. We did not make the laws. The laws were made by a committee which had men in majority. I always see claims like "many racist comments by feminists and upper class women against ordinary Indian men." or several other allegations but all such cases have faltered when I ask for evidence or statistics from a reliable source. A woman enters a male-dominated field and suffers accusations of getting entry solely because of her gender, being a bitch and so on. If we date you, you will call us a slut. If we don't you call us obnoxious bitches. You say you know how to respect women. I am yet to see that respect. People make rape jokes and others laugh and the girl who protests is made fun of or worse passed as a joke. Coming to the claim that we feminists dislike Indian men. That is statistically quite improbable. We have seen enough nice men to know that not all of them are assholes. But if you expect me to not point out the dumbasses, I am sorry, I prefer to be called a bitch in that case. Very recent example: I had commented on an answer which mocked atheists and the Physics Nobel 2013 prize winner, Dr. Higgs, for trying to disprove the existence of god, a claim they did not even make in the first place. Guess what I got in reply? You are a girl, so you are incapable of logical arguments.

Here's an extract from Sorkin's West Wing.. "The point is that sexual revolution tends to get in the way of actual revolution. Nonsense issues distract attention away from real ones: pay equity, child care, honest-to-God sexual harassment " This is exactly what's happening in India. Women claiming to be feminists tend to fight on petty issues whereas the women who actually try to make a safer world for women never ever flash the "Feminism" badge at us. Ms. Sunitha Krishnan ( Prajwala team) helps women in an invaluable way and never did she blame the gender or accuse Indian men as rapists. But here, we have so called Feminists who's maximum contribution for women has been nothing but facebook posts or twitter revolts tend to use the feminism card more often and point fingers at men at every single opportunity. I don't deny the need for protection for women in India. But I resent the fact that a group of elite 'feminists' thinking that they can achieve this by doing nothing but accusing men.

Indian women do not dislike Indian men. They might be cautious and restrained in the way they talk but I assure you they don't dislike Indian men. I am a male feminist... And going by your question details I don't think those women who post abusive comments are feminists - they in all probability are misandrists. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misandry BTW when you talk about how rape in the US is more than rape in India you fail to look into what constitutes a rape in America. Here's how rape is defined in the United States - Rape.— Any person subject to this chapter who commits a sexual act upon another person by — (1) using unlawful force against that other person; (2) using force causing or likely to cause death or grievous bodily harm to any person; (3) threatening or placing that other person in fear that any person will be subjected to death, grievous bodily harm, or kidnapping; (4) first rendering that other person unconscious; or (5) administering to that other person by force or threat of force, or without the knowledge or consent of that person, a drug, intoxicant, or other similar substance and thereby substantially impairing the ability of that other person to appraise or control conduct; is guilty of rape and shall be punished as a court-martial may direct. Source - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_in_the_United_States#Defining_rape So if you go by that definition almost every woman in India is raped!! Cause by that very definition every instance of so called eve-teasing can be considered and be classified as rape! Its not like Indian men fell from sky or some other place. Even we came out of a women, so we know how to respect them. India is the only place where there is a temple for women power. Respect has a wide range of meanings but still here goes - is female foeticide respect? is domestic abuse respect? is treating women as servants and slaves respect? I know you talk on behalf of the educated upper strata of society where you feel men respect women and treat them equally but nothing can be farther than the truth! Women in cities face far more abuse than women in rural areas, well educated men treat their wives as slaves and cause bodily harm. Almost all laws in India regarding relations are skewed towards women. Have you ever considered why the Indian government (with all its educated IAS officers and political thinkers and activists) would even think of making such laws? Have you thought about why Indian society is still male dominated and 80% of the workforce in major companies is male? The kind of trauma that women in India face is something they cannot explain nor could an Indian male ever understand it. And when you talk about the comments you've seen and felt disgusted by, you generalize and conclude without substantial proof that all educated Indian women hate Indian men. And such thinking is what leads to more anti-feministic traits in men and makes them go out and rape innocent women. What you need to realise is that venting your anger on Quora or anywhere is not going to help. What you need to do is address your anger by looking at the whole scenario with a rounded approach. Emphatise with women, understand the pains that they go through. Think of how it would feel if you weren't allowed to go out after sunset, are told not to wear the slightest of skin-showing clothing, be in the constant contact of family and friends (and most of the time it is these people who are the rapists!!), not to trust strangers, always be careful about whom you meet and what you speak because Indian society terms sociable women as sluts! Men like you might feel that it is the males who are being victimized - but they aren't! They feel victimized since the law/society supports females - but why does the society support females? Since they feel women cannot fend for themselves, since women are weak, powerless, emotionally fallible and that their only role in society is to produce babies and look after the 'divine' husband! Let me conclude by adding this final note - I am male and I am a feminist. That does not mean I hate other men, nor does that mean that I think men are evil and/or rapists. I just want equality and fairness for everyone. P.S. - If you don't like the answers don't upvote them. If they're against your views don't upvote them.

To begin with, let me answer this.... "And if these feminists and upper class women don't like us, what is stopping them from going abroad and marrying someone else?" Indian women aren't the most attractive women on the planet. Not even close. The average female beauty varies from race to race and from country to country. So the answer to this question is simple... Indian women just don't have that luxury. In my own personal life, I have seen over a dozen instances where an Indian woman claimed to be in love with some Indian man, but married a non resident Indian, or a man of foreign ancestry when given the chance. Willingly. So if they could, most of them just would. I have seen many racist comments by feminists and upper class women against ordinary Indian men. I do not know of any other country's women that are so condescending towards their own country's people. Don't be too sure of that. I have observed that the situation is much, MUCH worse in places like Hong Kong... Why do feminists hate men? Quite simple, really. Rejection. You see most "real" feminists I have seen are hateful of men, because they have been repeatedly rejected by men all their lives. Quite frankly, I have never come across any attractive feminists. I mean a lot of attractive women call themselves a feminist, but at the end of the day, when they fall in love with a strong man, all their bogus self esteem and confidence takes a back seat to their natural instincts of submission and humility. Show me an attractive feminist any day of the week, and I'll show you a pretender.

I would refrain from answering the last question, "what is stopping them from going abroad and marrying someone else?" - because it is one's personal wish, some people are doing this as well (successful or not is a different story). I can understand your agony. Though I was brought up in a metro city, I myself not, and have not come across much with such woman. But, would want to answer your question with the best of my knowledge. So, your question is about feminist - they see that the glass is half empty, rather than seeing it half full (in fact almost full). I mean, you should accept that though there are stringent laws for safeguarding woman and their rights, woman are becoming victims of all kinds of harassment. Those woman (feminist) are concentrating on them, though they know that there is so much done for their betterment - they consider as though we woman deserve to have those privileges. Secondly, in urban areas, fathers are so kind towards their daughters. They want to give almost everything their daughter ask for. Full freedom - just to live like as they want to. In fact that is why most girls in cities don't like young guys - they fall short (very short) when compared to their matured, ever adorable father. So, it is the brought up that is making difference. You guys, when you become father, you see your daughter with different eyes than your wife! - remember, in every family (almost) mother would not want give full freedom to girl and would support every naughty thing her son does and father does vice verse.

Here are some patterns I've been observing in Indian feminists: Self-victimization. (Putting gender tag on shoulder and make everyone else (men) look like villain) Insecurity Lack of global outlook Sanctimonious stance to boost one's own ego Hypocrisy (eat the cake and have it too) Lots of avenues to use big words like patriarchy, objectification, misogyny etc. without understanding the context and the full picture. Some points apply to men too. Regarding biased marital laws, read the following comment on a news article Dont get married, period! Here are some real facts: Before Marriage : Dad gives nokia 3310 with 25 rupees recharge with only limited text and outgoing calls: After Marriage :expectation is Smart phone (usually latest Blackberry or Sony Experia) with unlimited calls,text, 3d camera, 4g connection . Before marriage : Dad/mom gives one chudihar/salwar for birthday :After Marriage : expectation is branded designer clothes, roaming around in malls with big sun glasses and shorts and T shirts. Before Marriage: Dal,roti and chaawal (sometimes with pickle/papad): After marriage expectations is thai, mexican, italian dinner (with candle light) Before Marriage : Places visited local theater with some silly idiot (boy friend),sharing a 200ml pepsi and an oily samosa or going to pizza hut ,KFC occasionaly and maximum one burger(for Rs 30.00 including taxes) from Mc donald per year but they will brag about it the whole year. After Marriage :Expectation is UK ,US Las Vegas strip and a 7 day luxury cruise with T shirt and shorts, big sun glasses, designer hand bags and watches. Before Marriage mode of travel is BMW (Bus-Metro-Walk), after marriage expectation is Mercedes Benz (minimum C Class) /Audi / Lexus. Before Marriage says she has never heard about IPC sec 498a; after marriage expert in interpreting all provisions of 498a! Before Marriage : rented house in some galli/mohalla: After Marriage: Minimum apartment and the poor husband witll be stressed and frustrated paying the housing/Car/Credit card loans and by the time the loan is over he totally stressed and frustrated - ends up with BP, receding hairline etc. Bottom Line : Very conservative when it comes to parents money but lavish and dont care attitude on husbands money Folks this might bit exaggerated, some girls are very good but when you go out in the society most of them appear to be like what I mentioned ..... Damm it ....just can't do with them or can't do without them .........I hope you agree!