What can one do to try and avoid a marriage with someone that will eventually end in divorce or a regretful marriage?

If you are simply worried about the divorce aspect, then don't get married. It is an institution that has become largely obsolete. I see the rates of divorce as a reflection of a cultural shift or an evolution of our society rather than something strictly "negative" (not to diminish some aspects that certain are negative). I've looked at a lot of tribal cultures and noticed some parallels to various matrilineal societies. I come from a tribe that was traditionally matrilineal and the children were not even technically related to their biological father. The children belonged to the clan of their mother and their maternal relatives (e.g. uncles) or clan relatives were responsible for their upbringing. The biological father had no real authority over the children since he was from another clan and there was more of a communal environment anyway. There was no need for a stern father to be the ultimate arbitrator, authoritarian or the disciplinarian (as found in patriarchal traditions). If a woman wanted a "divorce" all she had to do was put the man's items outside the home. She owned the house and all the possessions in it except the man's immediate possessions. She was also solely responsible for the children. It was fairly common to have marriages come and go and you would stay with a partner as long as you were satisfied and it worked well for both sides. When it didn't, it didn't. And it was no big deal to move on. There were no nasty divorce lawyers, allegations in formal court, negative custody battles, bitterness, etc.. You simply moved on. Your biological kids would be taken care of, and you probably had young ones from your female clan relatives that you had to help raise as well. It was all interconnected. I see parallels in that children are no longer given just their father's names. There are a lot more hyphenated surnames and I've even seen where a new last name was adopted for the new family unit rather than perpetuate just the paternal lineage. Women have access to greater financial independence and children can be raised by either parent (female OR male), and also in extended family units. There is no longer a need to stay in a restrictive marriage out of convenience or a piece of paper as if it is a contract you are bound to. The negatives would probably be that people are more indulgent and less likely to compromise and get along with a partner these days. People have become a lot more demanding and less likely to put up with any traits they deem annoying. Back in the day, people lived with the hand they were dealt a lot more. I'm not sure if this answered your question or not, but my belief is that divorce is not always a negative anyway. A relationship needs to be worked on, but in some cases it is alright to move on a build new ones.

If you discover the answer to this, bottle it, slap a nice label on it and sell it for $14.99!!!

First off, you are not a statistic. There are groups of people that have very low divorce rates. Some interesting reading http://atheism.about.com/od/atheistfamiliesmarriage/a/AtheistsDivorce.htm There are also things you can do to decrease your divorce rate. Here are some things that usually work. Wait to get married. The more adult and experienced you are when you get married, the better chance you have of understand and coping in an adult way. Whatever you expect of your chosen one, expect of yourself. Take responsibility, expect responsibility. Be mentally and emotionally stable, and choose someone that is the same Know yourself, know what you want, Communicate this to your chosen one (CO) Don't make excuses, when you see serious, consistent character issues, accept that this is who this person is, and realize they are not right for you.  eg. Your CO has had arrests, abuses drugs, alcohol or credit, abuses you, has trouble at work on a consistent basis. Or you realize they cannot keep a friend due to  whatever reason. Maybe you realize that they make a lot of excuses, but do nothing to change their behavior, or blame other's or you for their behavior. Don't make excuses or cover from them. Figure out if this truly is the right person for you. It's much easier to cut your losses now, than to go ahead with misgivings, and divorce. Do you fit into their family? Do they get along with your family? Many couples problems are exacerbated by in law problems. As a side note, do your friends like the CO? Do you like their friends? Are they the sort of people you would chose as friends? These long relationships will indicate what sort of person you are committing to, more indications of their character Develop a financial plan. Money is one of the biggest causes of divorce. Make a plan on how you will make your dreams come true, how you will handle your bills, how you will pay for your future, how you will pay for the wedding, the house, the car, whatever. Once you can discuss money, you will find it much easier to discuss other issues. Learn to fight fair http://www.foryourmarriage.org/25-ways-to-fight-fair/ Be kind and considerate to each other. Love is sometimes not enough.  You have to find ways to be nice to each other. If you have doubts, address them. Don't be in a rush, take the time to deal with problems before they escalate. There is an old saying "marry in haste, repent at leisure" Go on a holiday together. You learn so much about a person on a holiday, it can help sort out the truth of your relationship. Go for premarital counselling. There are good courses out there to help couples learn how to live together. They cover major areas of life stresses, and help couples to a greater understanding of what is needed to be successful together.

One "avoids marring someone who will end in divorce" by A) being clear about what you want in a partner B) being clear about whether your intended has those qualities, C) being clear that both A & B apply the other way around, D) learning excellent relationship SKILLS <> "we LOVE each other...."  (Crabby old woman who doesn't believe in the power of love to carry you through here...) E) being a bit older than average, and F) studying the real statistics behind divorce, if that is an approach that works for you, to see what groups contribute overmuch to the 50%  (hint:  they are < 20 when they marry) and deciding whether you are one of those groups.

The only certain for sure way is not to get married.  Other than that, I suppose you should marry your S.O.  only after a long association so both of you know what you ear each getting into.  Of course, I am no one to talk.  I knew my bride for 6 months before we married. But I count myself lucky,  rather than wise.  We have been married 58 years. As I said that is pure luck and blessing.  Half the marriages end up on the rocks.

If you don't feel marriage is worth it, then don't marry. I personnally don't plan on doing that. But if you want to cross the whole idea and dating and having relationships just because there's a big chance it might end, then you might spare yourself some suffering, you'll also prevent yourself from great moments of happiness. It's not a good philosophy to live by, in my opinion. Most things come at an end, it doesn't mean they should never begin.

I remember thinking this very same question when I was a young man in my late teens about to start my first relationship. I knew many friends whose parent's were divorced. I was determined not be end up there. Fast forward 20 years and I'm divorced. The reality is you can't predict the outcome. No one goes into a long-term committed relationship to expecting to divorce. Does this mean you shouldn't do it? Absolutely not. I sometimes wondered if I knew that my relationship would end in divorce 20 years later, would I do it again? The answer is yes. Without it, I wouldn't have the experiences; my children; the friends; the  memories; the highs and lows of an intimate, monogamous, exclusive relationship. These experiences shaped who I am today; I wouldn't trade them for anything. Relationships are equal parts calculated risk and a leap of faith. We can increase the chance of long-term success by choosing partners who share values we hold important; and letting go of the small stuff that aren't deal breakers. Despite all the marriage advice, there are no secrets to relationship success. What rules works for one may not work for another. The only (for lack of a better term) thing I've found to be true is this: For a long-term relationship to work, two people just have to want to be together. They'll work hard at it. Everyday. That's it. Keep in mind: all (good) things come to an end—whether by death, choice or otherwise. Sometimes you change. Sometimes the other person changes. No one can predict it. People grow. Hopefully you grow together. Sometimes you grow apart. You can't control that. These things just happen. At the end of my marriage, these words of provided me much-needed comfort and perspective, "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."

You can compare it to driving a car.  You can reduce but not eliminate the chances of a bad outcome.  Don't expect that marrying someone will lead to changes in the person that you desire.  A person who disrespects others when they think they can get away with it is probably going to disrespect you when they think they can get away with it.  Someone should have at least a 3 year track record of being in a committed relationship before getting married.  If the 3 years weren't with you, make sure you understand why their past relationships ended, with lots of detail.

Do not marry until the intoxication of "falling in love" wears off and you can then see each other clearly. Usually this takes about two years. At that point, people can then begin the clearheaded discussions about lifestyle choices, values, goals and plans. Being clearheaded over time allows both of you to see one another, clearly -- warts and all. Then and only then, decide whether this someone is The One with whom you wish to spend  the rest of your life.