What are some of the quickest, cheapest, and most frictionless ways to determine how a brand's personality is perceived?

I'd like to suggest a some quick handy tips, so that you could do this instantly. Categorize the industry/niche/business vertical. Categorize the sub-segments. Identify your target audience Identify the sub-segments of the target audience Put them together in a matrix form[2x2] in case of double segmentation. or [3x3] in case of tripe segmentation. The resultant is likely to be your brand personality. After that, conduct a SWOT analysis and you'll understand it in a more explicit form.

First of all, I've never heard a marketer ask if a brand would be male or female. That doesn't mean it doesn't happen, but it's not ubiquitous. Moreover, I don't see what benefit the answer to that question could possible provide whether asked internally or externally. Nonetheless, brand perception surveys are going to be dependent on the pervasiveness of the brand. Obviously with the big brands like Coke, Nike, and Apple, they can run general public surveys. Brands in specific markets like Adobe will have to restrict their surveys to their target audience. Developing brand attribute surveys is just a matter of determining what you want to know, what might be important, and determining the best theoretical model to determine a person's actual (vs reported) brand attitude. But those are both rather straight forward so I'm assuming you're asking about a new brand. You're right that you can't just show a logo or website and ask the survey participant what the brand stands for. A brand attitude is something that is built up over time and those respondents would only be reporting on their initial reaction to the brand based off very small components of the brand (logo and/or website). Having said that, if it's a new brand you don't have much else to go off of and initial reactions can be very important. That's one reason many startups are focusing so much on design. Good design can cause initial experiences that are extremely valuable as starting points to build a strong brand. There are some other survey types that might help you out. One would be getting an idea of what consumer expectations are for a brand in a certain market. And another is surveying consumer attitudes toward other brands in the same (or at least in a similar) market. It all depends on what you want to do with the survey results. Simply knowing what the perception of a brand is should not be an end in itself. So step back, ask yourself what your goals are, and see if there's some other way at the answers you need.