Why do some people in the South Asian or Indian American community who have lived in the United States for a long time, still think that American culture is bad?

I can definitely relate to your concerns about some of the issues you mention in the post. I moved here with my parents when I was 12 and life has been a clash of two different cultures from then onwards. I think I have come to the conclusion that it is just a matter of culture. You see America is a place where everything new is automatically accepted. We love things that are different even if they don't make any sense and are horrible for us. India is completely opposite, everything old is sacred there so they hold on to their customs and rituals as well. Sometimes when I have an argument with my mom, she sits silent for a while thinking about what I said, and its almost like she knows I am right but admitting that would mean that she would have to agree that she has been wrong her whole life so of course that wont work. Also they don't feel like they have to adapt to anything. They came here for better opportunities but they don't necessarily feel like they need to change themselves for it. I mean we know how much adapting the white man did when he came to the Native Americans land. Because when you think about it, they feel like them being here is like a favor. I mean we give this country loads of engineers and doctors, and their success is always credited to America. That is probably the entire reason they let us in here in the first place, right? These are some of the reasons brown people are still so adamant about holding on to things, the need to preserve their age old culture is strong as ever. I feel like most of the time I am stuck in between, because I can relate to both the  sides. Its important to know and respect our roots but also stand up for whats wrong no matter how old the tradition. I hope our generation gets that part.

Adapting to a new culture is not easy at all. The people you're talking about appear to have lived in a conservative Indian environment during their childhood, picking up those traditional values. Even though they moved to the US, the vast gulf in the culture did not let them mingle easily, and they preferred sticking with their own communities for support and structure. Today, a lot of the Indian Americans arriving in the US have often lived a life not very different from the American way of living. The gap is minor, and many accept and mingle with the American society. I's the values and culture a person picks up in his childhood, that he/she retains throughout his life. Living in the US for 30 years won't change that. Especially when sticking with only the Indian diaspora even in the US.

I think a lot of what you say are common to many immigrant communities from Asia - Chinese, Koreans and other South Asians. Immigrants from these societies still want to preserve their culture in the new world, just like the puritans from the 16th century Europe. Maintaining identity and maintaining ties with one's flock is a fundamental part of human nature. Indian traditions have a 5000 year+ history and I don't see why they should be thrown away for a mere geographical movement. For us, it is a living idea, a matter of pride and something too fundamental to be replaced over time.  While some of the Indian traditions are outdated with the need for repair/replacement and one would want to take the best of the new world (great universities, democratic values and entrepreneurial spirit), it is also understandable for one to be leery of the less desirable aspects of American culture (bland food and weak family ties).

First of all, thanks for saying that students who come to America have modern views. I live in Canada though. I think this might make it a little easier for you to understand this phenomenon. But I'll add to it a little. I think that people of every country assume that their culture is somehow superior, be it American, Indian, African and don't even get me started on those snobbish Britishers, and it is, to a certain extent, necessary to develop a kind of bond. Problem arises when this superiority factor exceeds a certain limit and we fall into into the offensive and impolite territory. When Indians move to a foreign land their number one priority is the preservation of their misconceived Indian culture which is highly conservative. They try to form a shell of 'Sanskaar and Parampara' (values and age old teachings) and expect their children to stay in it. They get so detached from other cultures and so engrossed in this preservation process that after a while (10-20 years) their definition of Indian culture is completely different from what a person living in Indian might have. Personal experience: I lived with my uncle and aunt for four months here in Canada and what I experienced was completely unexpected. They didn't allow their grandchildren to wear 'gande mande kapde' (short and revealing clothes or anything that was half an inch above their knees)  or to go on dates. Needless to say they [their grandchildren] did it anyway. My uncle and aunt are very religious and so are their children who are 48, 45 and 39 (I am 19). Once there was a 'paath' (Sikh ritual in which verses from the Guru Granth Sahib are recited) back home in India and uncle and aunt were invited. My aunt went there and when she came back, all she did for a week was rant about people of 'India' and how they had no sense of religion and culture. Apparently no one sat through the whole 5-6 hours of paath and that pissed her off. Oh I forgot to mention that they have been living in Canada for 50 years now! Their 'bahu' (Daughter-in-Law) who is from England works in a private company and for some reason this bothers them. My aunt used to tell me that their bahu could never be a good wife as she doesn't cook everyday and eats fast food. For more information watch the movie Swades!

Your question is flawed."  If your moving somewhere then you have to adapt." Who said so? Why should people adapt to western culture if they don't like it? Parents have the right to bring up their children in whatever culture they want as long as they are not hurting them. When you turn 18, you can do whatever you want with your life in America. Go out in the real world and prove your self at that time.