I'm an 18 year old male in college and my parents still give me rules of a high school sophomore, how can I convince them to change their restrictions on me?
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I'm 18 in college, and my parents still give me rules of a young high school student. How could I convince them that their rules are too strict? I know they are worried but I feel like they have to push that aside just like all the other parents with a son or daughter in college and let me do more. I have a 10:30 curfew and they even think that's late, while my friends have had strict parents as well but once they started college now they have 3 am curfews. It suck cause we all go out and then I'm the only one with a super early curfew... I've snuck out 2 times after they fall asleep so I can be out later but I don't like doing that because i wish I could just tell them I'm going out late. I also have cousins who are pretty antisocial and "nerdy" I guess you can say, and they are 19 and 21 and they never go out late because they dont desire to. And my parents always use them as an example for how parenting should be I also have my license and my parents only let me use the car to go to the gym -.- I mean I understand that more cause I can get rides from my friends and it is their car. How could I convince them to loosen up on me? If you're in college, how strict are your parents with you? If you are the parent of a college student, how strict are you with them? Thank you guys
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Answer:
After all they are your parents, you'll always be a kid for them irrespective of how old you are! I'm married, have kids and still my parents treat me like that. Just accept it, it is all because of love and care. Ignore some of the things. You as well as your parents will be happy!
Anonymous at Quora Visit the source
Other answers
Move out. Talking to your parents might cause them to ease up a little bit, but people tend not to change drastically, so I wouldn't expect them to give you too much more freedom than you have currently. The only way to give yourself total freedom is to not live with them anymore. I realize this will be a tough discussion to have with your parents, but it seems to be of importance to your life. This may be complicated if you know you will still need to rely on them for financial and/or other support, so talk through those issues with them as well. They probably want what's best for you and will likely be open to discussing options. Best of luck to you!
Alex Roller
The only way to get more responsibility is to show you're ready for it. It's not about "deserving" it, or being fair. It's about you understanding the ramifications of your actions on your parents' emotional well-being (whether or not anything bad happens). So that's what you need to talk to them about: why do they need you to be home so early? Do they truly believe that what you'll do later at night is dangerous? Is it? What will you do to make it less dangerous (in reality)? How much of this is about their *fears* rather than reality? Are they able to concede that their having a fear is not a good reason for you to avoid experiencing young adult college life? I will tell you as the parent of a 21 year old in college, I KNOW he does things that if I knew about them I'd have a panic attack. But I don't know when he does those things, so it's easier on me -- I just assume he's safe and sound at home 100% of the time. I don't want to know when he's walking across campus alone at 3am. I'm sure it happens -- I just don't want to know. When you're in your parents' home... do you think THEY can fall asleep before you come home? It's pretty nearly impossible, I'm here to tell you. Every time you stay out past 10:30, they stare at the ceiling imagining you in a car accident (or some other horror they imagine) for hours and hours and hours. If you can address their concerns, that MIGHT help. You can call in, or text, or in some way let them know you're alive and alert and when you plan to be home. That's not about them controlling you, it's about them controlling themselves.
Jessica Margolin
Jeff Kesselman
Why don't u have a nice talk with them !! Throw your points forward, what u feel, how do you want it to be, but place your points in a rational and peaceful way, they will understand. That worked in my case. Yet I have some restrictions on me but u can't always be that demanding. Listen to them also sometimes. They will feel good and a healthy relationship will exist.
Husain Kapadia
What have you done to demonstrate trustworthiness and responsibility? What have you done to differentiate yourself from a high school sophomore? Why do you need these different restrictions, other than to have fun with your friends? Will practicing additional responsibility serve you well in the future? Are there useful things you could do? Do you acknowledge your parents' reasons (or possible reasons) for the tighter restrictions? Increased road danger at night, increased right of drinking/drugs/dumb decision making later at night? Can you tell them how you'll show that you'll minimize those risks? You convince your parents by showing that you're more responsible and that you could genuinely benefit from different rules.
Lindsey Own
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