To job hunt or not to job hunt?

Don't worry about being "that woman."

in your 30s, there's no guarantee that you'll be having kids. Because it's relevant to your question, I'll just point out that the difficulty of conceiving in your 30s is http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/07/how-long-can-you-wait-to-have-a-baby/309374/ You could very well end up succeeding on your first try! Depending on how hard it is to get hired in your field, you could definitely find yourself interviewing while pregnant if you start on both plans tomorrow.

Nothing is guaranteed -- you don't know when you will conceive and you don't know how long finding a job could take. You can turn down any job offer if it seems like the right thing to do timing-wise, but I would be job hunting and trying to get offers right now without delay. No sense in letting yourself be unhappy. And it will be easier to find a job while you are working. If having children is definitely in your plans, take this opportunity to find a job where that will be OK. My office is pretty flexible for people with kids -- they can work remotely or come/go as needed and one guy has his son come to the office after school and play video games until 5pm+ on the TV in our meeting space. Places that will be flexible do exist. Since you hate your job anyway, it shouldn't be too hard to shift your energy and focus to finding a new job instead of doing your current job. Go all in!

Don't put off your life hoping to get pregnant. Start looking now, and try to get pregnant when you want to. (Check up what rules your state has for time at the same employer before you are eligible for their leave, though, and what the rules are about the new company having to rehire you after maternity leave. Just in case.) You don't know what's coming up -- these jobs might not work out, or they might work out and be very family-friendly, or any other possibility. You do know you're not happy in your job now.

I would job hunt. If you find your job emotionally and physically draining now, just think how you'll feel if you have to do it while pregnant. It's not going to more bearable. Keep in mind that the job market still sucks, and you are far better off looking while employed than after maternity leave.

You should absolutely look for a job now. Let's examine the reason you're considering staying: If I got a new job, I would have to push the babymaking by at least a few months because I wouldn't want to be "that woman" who starts a new job and then a few months later announces that she's knocked up. 1. It takes most women many months to get pregnant, especially women in their 30s. 2. You don't have to put off getting pregnant if you get a new job - even once you get pregnant, most people continue working 8-9 months from that point. 3. Being "that woman" is a sexist myth - humans have to make babies to continue the human race - men are not penalized for this and women shouldn't be either. The reason that American law protects women from being fired/not hired due to pregnancy is that it is deeply unethical to hold this against women. 4. You're planning to return to work after having the baby anyway - so your hypothetical future employer is still getting a great employee long-term - they're just going to have to cover a few months off. Which is their legal obligation.

I was "that woman" and got pregnant the third week on the new job. I stressed myself out about telling my boss and waited until I was nearly 22 weeks to tell him, but it was fine. By the time everyone else found out , I was pretty entrenched in the company and wasn't seen as "new" anymore anyway. A good boss will know that life happens. Just be sure you know what the maternity policies are (if you need to be there a year before you're eligible for FMLA or if the company offers other maternity benefits that could kick in for you sooner if you get pregnant immediately). Don't put your big life goals on hold - you will be surprised at how much simultaneity you can handle. MeMail if you want to talk.

I have a cautionary tale. My friend went through the same dilemma and opted not to job hunt, decided she would get pregnant and take mat leave, and then quit. Many months later she still wasn't pregnant, and by then she was so badly burnt out that she straight up quit her job, foregoing all mat leave benefits, and was in no state to go looking for another job. She and her husband have been trying to conceive ever since. If she had started a new job before or shortly after quitting her last one, she would have been able to put in more than a year of work before taking mat leave. They would have had an entire year of her salary banked, and mat leave benefits to boot (which are substantial in our country). They bet big on the pregnancy happening quickly and easily. They literally counted their chicken before it hatched. Don't do that. Job hunt now.

I'd like to echo the sentiment others have expressed that the concept that people - I mean, women - who take parental leave soon after starting a job are in some way bad people is some misogynist bullshit. One other thing to think about: if you plan to continue working after having a baby, it is likely to be MUCH better for your family financially if you find a new job now. This is kind of what aimedwander is saying, only I'm focusing more on the financial angle and the possibility of long-term unemployment. Compare these two scenarios: Plan A: stay at your current job until giving birth, take your paid leave, never return. You are now looking for a new job having been unemployed for (at least) several months. In the current difficult economy, there is significant hiring discrimination against people who are unemployed. There is also hiring discrimination against mothers of young children. Your job search could take much longer than you expect, or you could wind up being a stay-at-home mom against your will. Plan B: find a new job now while you already have a job. Take leave when you have your baby, return to the job after your leave. You don't have to job hunt after being on leave/unemployed, because you already have a job. Yay!