Help me learn how to do grown-up lady hair

Instead of just doing plain old ponytails on days 2-4, step it up with some different ways of putting your hair all or half up. - http://www.pinterest.com/search/pins/?q=hair%20braids are in, so if you are good at braiding you could try french braiding your bangs/front pieces of hair back and then bobby pinning the braid behind your ear, like http://www.thesmallthingsblog.com/2012/06/dutch-braid.html. - If your hair is longer you could try my favorite lazy hairstyle, which http://www.ohsoprettythediaries.com/2012/08/the-tutorial-brilliant-braid.html but is actually very simple to do. - I'm a big fan of the http://www.extraordinarymommy.com/featured-content/hair-tutorial-how-to-do-a-sock-bun-keeping-style-in-your-life/ but I realize not everyone likes to have a big donut of hair sitting on the top of their head. http://blog.isavirtue.net/2012/01/how-to-sock-bun.html is a very lady-like alternative to the ballerina-style sock bun that still utilizes a rolled up sock to fake more volume (which is great for those of use with thin hair!). - Even if you don't want to wear a sock bun out in public, they're great at giving your hair heatless http://www.kaylaaimee.com/2011/10/i-heart-pinterest-sock-bun-curls/ or waves if you put your damp (not wet!) hair into a sock bun overnight. Since I cut my hair shorter, the sock bun gives me more 'bouncy volume' than waves or curls, but it still is an easy, fun change of pace. The trick is to place the sock bun on the top of your head, not at the nape of your neck. - There are http://www.lamacitems.co.uk/ourshop/prod_3036519-Pearl-Headband-PreOrder.html http://thebeautythesis.com/2012/11/23/lace-headband/ http://community.stylecaster.com/post/16931 http://indulgy.com/post/0lBLe5Aph1/headband out there that won't make you look like http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/31400000/Matilda-matilda-31436678-1024-768.png. They're great for getting your hair out of your face when the front pieces are a touch greasy. - Speaking of greasy, get thee some dry shampoo to keep your hair from looking lank between washings. I think I've tried every dry shampoo known to man, and http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000Z65DZG/metafilter-20/ref=nosim/ is the best stuff ever. It has a light, lemony scent that masks that dirty scalp smell, a small applicator tip that makes it easy to target the greasy spots (hairline, temples), and it rubs in easily so you don't look like you've suddenly decided to bring back powdered wigs. This has the added benefit of giving your hair a bit more texture so that things (bobby pins, sock buns, headbands, etc.) stay in place better, and certain styles (half-up, anything involving teasing, etc.) look better and last longer. None of these things require you to use a blow dryer, curling iron or straightener, drastically change your haircut or hair washing routine. The trick is to watch a couple YouTube videos if you're unsure and practice a lot at home. I've found Pinterest to have some good tutorials for hair ideas, but be aware that a lot of them require fancy braiding techniques or like, insanely long mermaid hair, of which I have neither.

The easiest thing to do is probably the most expensive thing to do, but it's the only thing that worked for me after 27 years of hating my hair. Start shelling out for expensive haircuts. If you cut your hair yourself, it's probably going to look crappy. But if you go to a nice salon (get recommendations for specific hairdressers, call the salon, ask for an appointment WITH JEANINE or whoever) and talk to the stylist about what you want - a wash and go, low maintenance haircut - they will be able to look good. However, you may have to shell out $80 to $150 for the privilege. Maybe after you get a cut that you like and a shape that flatters your face you can take some pictures to a less expensive stylist and still get good results. Also, go in prepared. Spend some time gathering pictures of haircuts that you like, print them out, and bring them with you. Here's the http://www.pinterest.com/brmq/short-short-hair/ I started when I wanted to bring some pics to my hairdresser. This might be shorter than you want but short hair is very consistent and very low maintenance.

Our hair is similar, though mine's a bit thicker. I LOVE mousse, even though it seems to have gone out of fashion for some reason. It keeps my waves and makes my hair look shiny without any stiffness. I just put a little in when my hair is damp, and I don't comb afterwards. I think the bangs-less style was better for your face! Also, bangs are fussy and annoying and get greasy before the rest of your hair. Bangs are like the opposite of low-maintenance. Also: yes yes conditioner! And occasional deep conditioning. If it's not too conceptually gross for you, http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000Q7WYUG/metafilter-20/ref=nosim/

FYI, conditioners never contain sulfates. They contain alcohols, silicons, and oils, usually. Sometimes they will say SULFATE FREE! on the bottle, which is akin to putting "cholesterol free!" on a bag of vegetables. I've never been able to do conditioner-only, and trust me I have tried (thick wavy/curly hair here). (A) you have to use a conditioner that doesn't have non-soluble silicons that will build up in your hair, because more silicon won't get that out; so yes, it will build up and get gross/greasy. It's really hit-or-miss based on your hair type and the brand of conditioner you experiment with. If you're using conditioner with silicone (which is most conditioner) this phase will last ALWAYS. People who are super into this stuff are really picky about what conditioners they use, and read ingredients on everything. This is also where the "change your products now and then because your hair will get used to them" myth came from - lots of things will leave buildup, and changing products can get rid of that buildup, but it's got nothing to do with getting used to anything, it's simple chemistry. (B) You can't use any products with non-soluble silicons or anything greasy, because you'll never get it out again without a good surfectant (aka sulfate) and your hair will be sticky and gross forever again. Basically it just wasn't worth it to me. I use gentle shampoo about twice a week, and a clarifying (sulfate) shampoo every couple months or when I feel like I have a lot of product buildup. HOWEVER, on in-between-washing days, if I want to freshen up my hair, I will totally rinse with water only or conditioner only. You don't have to shampoo every time you shower - the less, the better, generally speaking.

OK, loved your last short haircut, no bangs. Just to start there. That cut is great on you. But some grown-up lady hair tricks? (These took me years to learn....) * Find a great (expensive) haircutter and WATCH THEM WORK. Sometimes you can repeat their results at home (not always) if you do cut your own. * Wash every other day. Put the shampoo on the top of your head, not at the roots. Put the conditioner on the roots, not at the scalp. * For the days you don't wash (hello timesaver!), invest in http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B005LS7FE0/metafilter-20/ref=nosim/ and some http://www.ulta.com/ulta/browse/productDetail.jsp?productId=xlsImpprod3560097 * Buy good tools. A good http://www.totalbeauty.com/content/gallery/p_best_worst_flat_irons. A good ceramic http://www.totalbeauty.com/content/gallery/p-best-blow-dryers. A good boar bristle brush. * I have a https://www.carolsdaughter.com/portal.aspx?CN=B5ED582610C9 (meant for ladies of color, but excellent for all!) that smells like vanilla which is an awesome final touch. * If you want to knock people's socks off for a special event, treat yourself to a blowout. Watch how they blow your hair to be fluffy, straight and with lovely curled ends. Repeat at home.

I always thought shelling out for fancy shampoo/conditioner was a ripoff, but my stylist turned me on to Paul Mitchell's Awapuhi products and they are the bomb. I have wavy hair similar to yours and the Awapuhi Wild Ginger Hydrocream Whip (oh god it's embarrassing even typing that out) is the most awesome mousse. I get lots of compliments on my curls now. Nthing the comments that the shorter, bang-less style looks great on you. Regular cuts (long-haired ladies can do without a trim for months and months, but to look polished with a short or medium-length cut, 6-7 weeks between cuts max) too. Have you considered a https://www.google.com/search?q=graduated+bob+wavy+hair&espv=210&es_sm=93&tbm=isch&source=iu&imgil=njrsvLa13nsbSM%253A%253Bhttps%253A%252F%252Fencrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com%252Fimages%253Fq%253Dtbn%253AANd9GcTXZ_Qqs_xbiwHf14Q0_1ZZSgN9DUph94Ggeh9y8TO-fxplAzTKRQ%253B200%253B241%253BETd3avbOWJ3JDM%253Bhttp%25253A%25252F%25252Fwww.thehairstyler.com%25252Ffeatures%25252Farticles%25252Fhairstyles%25252Fright-bob-hairstyle-for-square-face-shape&sa=X&ei=TTbLUtuiNszloASGyoLgCg&ved=0CDYQ9QEwBQ&biw=1366&bih=642#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=njrsvLa13nsbSM%3A%3BETd3avbOWJ3JDM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fs3.amazonaws.com%252Fths_assets_production%252Fattachment_resources%252Fattachments%252F2333%252Foriginal%252Ftry-graduated-bob.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.thehairstyler.com%252Ffeatures%252Farticles%252Fhairstyles%252Fright-bob-hairstyle-for-square-face-shape%3B200%3B241? This would be short in the back, and then chin-length curls in the front. Depending on the cut, it can look a bit dated on people with straight hair but for wavy and curlyheads it's current and awesome.

I like that "shorter" pic! You suit the no-bangs look. Like joan_holloway, I also suspect your hair is probably curlier than you think. Have you tried http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/product-reviews/research-institute/washing-my-hair-with-conditioner? This is one of those things recommended on curly-haired forums. I do this a few times a week instead of washing with shampoo and following with conditioner (which is what I do the rest of the time), and it works very well--like you, I don't use much in the way of styling products, so that probably helps. It makes my hair feel clean and soft, and my hair usually airdries to nice waves. If I need to blowdry it I use a http://www.naturallycurly.com/curlreading/wavy-hair-type-2/how-to-use-a-diffuser I second the people who are encouraging you to splurge for at least one expensive haircut with a really good stylist. Be 100% honest with them (e.g. tell them exactly how much time you want to/are able to spend styling your hair. If that is zero minutes post-wash, tell them that) and ask them what cut would work well with your hair and face shape. I am super up-front about how little effort I put into my hair and how much I dislike styling products, and no (good) stylist has tried to dissuade me from my lazy ways; instead they've created styles that WORK without too much effort and grow out nicely. And, if your hair is long enough for a ponytail after your new cut, the http://www.saralynnpaige.com/style/simple-gibson-tuck/ is a nice simple style for a change of pace.

Wanted to say in the short run: I'm growing out the bangs. I've been conditioning the bulk of my hair and only shampooing my scalp, and I'm enjoying a lot more texture. Still searching around for a stylist and a babysitter so I can go to the stylist. Thank you all for being honest and giving me lots of ideas to try.

Ideas for a haircut Don't cut it yourself, and don't go to Great Clips. Go to a nice place recommended by someone - even a stranger - with a nice haircut. If that's out of your price range, find a cosmetology school and ask about their process for being a guinea pig / model. Admit to the stylist that you're a bit clueless. They are trained to know how to pick out a good style that matches you and your needs. Pick out some things you like in their books while you wait, but let them make the final call. My intro is usually "look, I'm busy, I'm an engineer, and I'm not particularly fashion-conscious. I do a lot of sports, and work in a conservative industry. My ideal haircut is about this long [gesture], and should not require a lot of maintenance. Can you suggest something flattering and explain how to maintain it?"