Followed Ask Metafilter advice, asked a girl out, now what's going on?

• Hi everyone, about a month ago, I asked metafilter whether this girls likes me and whether we were going on a date. I followed everyone's advice and straight up asked her on a date, but now I'm not sure what's going on. Sorry for the wall of text, but I'd like to give you all the details of what happened. Please be aware that this is from my perspective. http://ask.metafilter.com/257001/Is-this-a-date-or-just-a-hangout We ended up not going to rockwall at all. Instead, I took up all the courage I had one morning, made sure that she will have no exams the next week, and asked her, "So next Thursday, do you want to go on a date?" She froze, then quickly said, "Sure." I was beyond happy, and she seemed to too, because she flustered and waved her arms around in the air (nervously) and said something about it has to be after some event. But I wasn't paying attention to anything she said after the first word. We smiled at each other dumbly, and I thought it was quite an adorable moment. Then, I noticed behavior changes the next week. I see her on Wednesday and Friday mornings when I go and buy snacks from the stockroom, where she works. No one else works that early, so we usually talk alone for quite a while on those days. On Wednesday, the morning before the date, when I went to see her, she was sooo nervous. Normally, she would say "hi" immediately and smile at me. But when I saw her then, she glanced over at me, said "hi," immediately went back to what she was doing. She quietly asked me how my day was and, throughout the next few minutes, walked around the room, looked down, did random things, and avoided any eye contact. At one point, she was writing something, and the broom stick fell. She said slowly, "and there goes the broom." But as we talked more, she started smiling at me. Later, we talked over the details about the date. And she told me to have a nice day before we departed. Originally we were going bowling, but the place was too crowded, so we went and watched a movie instead (I know, bad for first date, but I had to come up with something on spot). Nothing happened between us during the date, no hand holding, etc. When we drove back, we had a good conversation, and she told me about her passion for rocks. Before we departed for the night, she gave me a hug. The next day was Friday before spring break. I had wanted to ask her for a date during spring break, but learned that she's going home (an hour or so away) the entire week. So that morning, I asked her if she wanted to go out again when she comes back. She said sure. The following Thursday, midway through spring break, I called and asked if she wanted to go rollerskating the next Tuesday. She hesitated, said sure, but then said she had to check her schedule because she might have an exam the next day. Then, she asked how my spring break was, and we talked for a bit. She never called me back. On Monday, I texted her to make sure Tuesday wasn't a good day, she texted back and said she just had too much going on that week. Then, I called, and we talked on the phone for quite a good bit about classes. On Thursday, I left for a national convention and didn't get back until Sunday. I thought it would give her some space. I know she always have lots of school related things going on even before asking her on a date. She has lots of exams and papers and often stay up till 2 or 3 in the morning studying/writing. She doesn't party and is fairly quiet around people. However, she knows when to speak up (she did when running for an officer in a club) and will speak to you one on one. She's a terrible texter, often texting only the essential information. She doesn't know how to flirt with body language, at all. Verbal teasing seems to be the best she can do. I didn't think much of the cancellation and let things go naturally. On Wednesday morning when we came back, she was still only glancing at me and going back to what she was doing when she saw me. But as we talked, we held gaze longer and smiled more. Later in the day, we were in the same room with my good friend (married), and she kept asking him questions and ignored me and was unable to sit still the entire time. She would make loud noises with the computer and tap her feet, while me and my friend talked about a class project. At one point, she asked him a question and said my name instead, but quickly corrected herself. I felt that's just another sign of her being nervous. On Friday, I told her that I know her schedule is hectic and asked her to a coffee on the following Friday. She said yes and seemed really happy. She teased me about some school work, and we had a good conversation. However, the next Wednesday, she said Friday isn't working but quickly suggested Sunday afternoon. This is probably because she goes home with her brother on some Fridays and come back on Sundays. I didn't think much of it. On Thursday afternoon, I saw her at the stockroom, and asked if she wanted to get something at the school cafe. She said sure. We met at the cafe, but she didn't eat anything (she's allergic to flour and generally doesn't eat at the cafe). So instead, she sat down across from me and talked with me as I ate. We talked for over an hour about lots of things (childhood games, poems, books, school) and smiled and joked. We both love The Great Gatsby a lot. At one point, she attempted a joke so badly that we both laughed at how horrible it was. Throughout the conversation, we would often pause the conversation and hold gaze for a few seconds longer than normal and smile at each other. I tried to see if her pupils dilated, but it was too hard to tell. I did notice that she stopped asking me to tutor her in organic. When I asked her if she needed help, it was either "I think I got it" or "not even started looking over the chapter." This might just be because she already has a solid B in the class and doesn't really need help or she had a lot of other things going on. It could be a million reasons. On the other hand, she literally begged me to do another film for her (we had done one before with a group of people) for bonus points. I didn't really want to and said "maybe." She begged and said "maybe means yes." She also mentioned many times that she just wanted this last month of school to be over. At the end of the dinner, as we walked out, she said that with so much going on, she's not sure if Sunday will work. I told her "so that means no." She nodded and then said, "but I'll see you around often." Then she gave me a hug. I asked her if she needed a ride back to my dorm, but she said "no, it's fine." But I insisted and dropped her off since it was a fairly lengthy walk. At this point, I was pretty bummed out, but I felt that she thinks eating at the cafe had just fulfilled the purpose of the coffee date, and that she could spend the time Sunday studying for her four exams instead. The next morning, it rained hard. And I walked through the rain to work (research in same building as her) with no umbrella. I was feeling pretty down. When I went to buy snacks, I was pretty quiet and looked down as I walked. She looked at me and joked, "getting a little wet?" I smiled and we talked more. It's amazing how her body language changes as we progress through the conversation. The neutral body language would quickly turn into a more open one, and this happens quicker each time I see her. At one point, she held a stick in her hand and waved it forward and backward as she talked. I had to gesture her to stop because she might be hitting something. She laughed and hid it behind her back. We would talk for 20 minutes or so, until we are basically staring at each other and smiling when I was leaving. So that's all that has happened up until now. My own conclusion and gut instinct tell me that she just have so much going on this last month of class and want to get that over with before going on dates with me. My close friends are positive and tell me the samething. Her body language has been all positive. When I stop talking in a conversation, she extends it with stories and questions instead of capping it with short phrases. However, that uncertaintly is always there. And I've read many online article, and people say that flaking out 2 or 3 times is a very bad thing. But I just feel that this is such a special case, with her putting her priority on school. The fact she mentioned so many times that this last month of class is hectic and that she can't wait for it to be over seemed to be an invitation for me to ask her during the summer. What do you think? Thanks!

• Answer:

  Next time you talk, end it with, "so let me know if you want to do something together again when you get the time." This puts the ball squarely in her court. After that, you can be friendly with her, but don't assume she wants to date you unless and until she asks you on a date. I am sorry that you seem to be feeling mixed signals, but this is the only way to know. My instinct here is that she likes hanging out and talking to you, but isn't interested in you romantically. But the only way to know for sure is for her to make a move or lack of a move.