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Streamlined way to pick an engagement ring?

  • We're trying to get engaged -- hooray! What advice do you have about how to streamline this whole ring thing as much as possible? Our lives could not be busier, and we're building a house, so we have no money. If possible, we'd like to announce the engagement to family over Thanksgiving (since we're not going home for Xmas).  So. We need an engagement ring. Quickly. A ring... that I'll wear, like, every day, forever? How do busy people do this??  Much as I wish I could just buy anything and not care too much about finding the perfect thing, it's kind of hard to do that when there are so many choices and when we would like it to feel right. And if we went to Engagement Rings R Us, we'd probably end up spending $1500-$2000, when we want to spend like $300 - $900, so I'm not even quite sure where to shop. We've been looking at Etsy shops, and gaining some hope that we might find something we like in our price range. But it seems hard to narrow down the choices without trying them on, and the rings are often made to order so the process takes a month or more, and you can't return it. We live in the Bay Area so we could go to various local artisans' shops, but it would probably take a lot of travel (and maybe a miracle) to find the intersection of our tastes and our low price range. Our aesthetics lean toward the http://www.etsy.com/shop/onegarnetgirl (is that the right way to describe that look?) and the http://konzukshop.com/product/kmr126d-facet-ring. We're not that into diamonds and would be happy to find something used, vintage, lab-grown, or non-diamond (but still durable and fairly clear or pale, e.g., no rubies). Anyway. I realize it may not be possible to find something we like by Thanksgiving. But what advice do you have about how to streamline this as much as possible?

  • Answer:

    I just recently had an engagement party. I didn't have a ring. No one cared, but if I thought they would have I would have work a giant candy ring (I could have used the sugar, frankly). We are buying a house so a big expensive flashy ring is definitely not something I cared about. However, my finance had said he felt bad that he didn't get a ring and didn't want to regret it. So I spent an hour online (Pinterest!) and found a few I liked and didn't feel sick at the price of and sent him some links. He picked http://www.turtleloveco.com/Nested_White_Pearl_Engagement_Ring_with_Gold_Nest_p/jbd-nwpgs-r.htm and I love it and now we can move on to more important to us things (like mortgage rates!). So yeah, maybe just set a time and budget limit and be done with it?

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My engagement ring cost $99 and my (now) husband basically handed it to me and said this, all in one sentence: "BlahLaLa will you please marry me I know you probably want to pick out a ring yourself so this is just a placeholder until we can go shopping together." I said yes, but was he ever wrong. This $99 ring has been on my hand for more than twenty years and means more to me than any expensive trinket ever could.

BlahLaLa

I can make you a 3D model of a ring if you send me a drawing with pretty precise measurements if you want, then you can send the model to shapeways and have them 3D print it in pretty much any material you want (silver included) for VERY cheap!

Riton

Take your time, and if you feel like you MUST have a ring at thanksgiving, just get a comically large fake plastic one... at least, that's what I'd do. You don't want to look down at your hand in 40 years and think "man I wish we'd taken an extra month to really find the right thing!"

showbiz_liz

I'm a newlywed and I very much cared abouthttp://ask.metafilter.com/225277/Sapphires-are-a-girls-best-friend So I get you but my advice may be unexpected. Don't bother getting one right now. Seriously. Burning money you don't have on a ring that isn't quite what you want just because you are supposed to have an engagement ring right when they propose... not a good plan. You'll probably regret it later. So save that 300-900$ and just hold on. Maybe put that towards making your wedding band something extra special. Maybe you only need the one ring. Maybe your wedding band can be both. Seriously. As for a placeholder for thanksgiving, just don't worry about it. People will ask to see the ring, but just reply that you and your fiance agreed that it was better to save the money and just get a really special wedding band later but OHMYGOD you're engaged and excited and aren't you so happy for me?!?! And like barnone said, you don't need a ring to announce your engagement. and for what it is worth, I have a friend who was proposed to with a kayak and she was about as excited as any one person could be. I re-proposed to my husband with an engagement BBQ. It is okay to go off the beaten path with this one. Do what matters to YOU and your FIANCE! Also, mega huge congrats to you and your fiance!

PuppetMcSockerson

While I completely agree that you don't need a ring, I get the impression that you want one. So with your goal of getting one quick, cheap and perfect, you might have to give up one of those three goals. But maybe not! Here are a couple of tips: -Try a bunch on before buying anything online - what you like on your finger may be different than what you like in pics -Check ou high-quality vintage/estate jewelry places - you'll get the most for your money 'used' because some people only want new (and there are really cool vintage pieces out there) -I have a strong sense that you'd love http://bario-neal.com/jewelry/engagement-rings rings - and I know several people who got theirs there and adore them -Look through http://www.eastsidebride.com/search/label/rings various posts on non-traditional rings - she has excellent taste

leitmotif

Some of the considerations are probably going to take some time: Have you tried on any rings to get a feel for the size/shape/type of materials you're into? White gold/yellow gold/sterling silver? Consider what your hands do all day: do you carry a lot of things? Have long hair? Are you used to wearing rings? Do you want the stone to be the same stone forever? (Morganite and opals for example are much softer and can get very banged up.) Moissanite is becoming an increasingly popular option; there are many YouTube videos of different stones and what they look like, or you could phone local stores to see if they have any pieces in stock. Are you likely to want to wear just a wedding band, or engagement ring and band? Do you want them to fit together? Another option might be contacting local Etsy sellers to see what they do have in stock; if a ring can be resized, it usually doesn't take that long. Here's one from a San Francisco http://www.etsy.com/listing/160966580/bezel-set-moissanite-and-14-karat-gold?ref=sr_gallery_5&ga_search_query=bezel+engagement+ring&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_locationQuery=5391959&ga_search_type=all and another http://www.etsy.com/listing/160850691/bezel-set-blue-sapphire-ring-in-darkened?ref=sr_gallery_8&ga_search_query=bezel+engagement+ring&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_locationQuery=5391959&ga_search_type=all and possibly this http://www.etsy.com/listing/65793371/clear-blue-rose-cut-diamond-solitaire?ref=sr_gallery_9&ga_search_query=bezel+engagement+ring&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_locationQuery=5391959&ga_search_type=all as well. If they can't help you, they might be able to point you in the right direction. The extremely quick option: local http://www.etsy.com/listing/127474357/natural-emerald-solitaire-14k-gold-ring?ref=sr_gallery_10&ga_search_query=bezel+engagement+ring&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_locationQuery=5391959&ga_search_type=all jewelry stores and pawn shops. (Maybe not for a forever ring.) And hey: you don't have to have an engagement ring. You can decide to get married and then do so without any rings at all, if you'd rather just get one band or get an engagement-style ring later. You could just get a stand in from Target too. Congrats: Mazel tov!

jetlagaddict

PS: The site I linked to before is having a 30% off sale for Veteran's Day. I http://www.berricle.com/round-natural-white-topaz-gemstone-10k-solid-white-gold-ring-0-11-ct-jewelry-r712-w-wtp.htm and thought of your post! (They sell http://www.berricle.com/925-sterling-silver-dome-plain-ring-band-2mm-jewelry-r744.htm for later as well.)

DarlingBri

I am a big advocate of lab-created stones, because you get a beautiful, high-quality stone for much less money, and also SCIENCE. My engagement ring was a big gorgeous lab-created sapphire. We bought it from Jared and I think it was under $300. You can get lab-created sapphires in a wide range of colors and they are very durable. Same for lab-created rubies. I also have a pair of moissanite earrings that are absolutely beautiful. They have tons of flash and sparkle. When I have had them cleaned at the jeweler they are usually mistaken for a pair of their extra-fine super sparkly diamond earrings. I think they were around $150 for the pair.

oblique red

Hi, my ring comes from the Internet and I love it. It's made by Satomi Kawakita and it's from http://www.catbirdnyc.com My fiance says he had a great experience ordering from them and it suits my teeny tiny ratpaw hand perfectly. Personally? I really love wearing an engagement ring. It's not too expensive and it means a lot to both of us. Good luck!

nerdfish

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