Help me out with the old online dating profile please.

Tough love below. Stop reading if that is not your thing. I think I am in your target demographic (though I may be a bit younger than what you're looking for) - I am female, intelligent, love to travel, into books and the blues, have an adventurous palate, and have several other interests that would fulfill the "interested in something" requirement. And I would never, ever contact you based on this profile. You come across as incredibly self-centered, overly-competitive, and likely to judge me/women more generally when our interests deviate from your own. You sound like you want a women to accompany you on your great life, not like you want to build a relationship and life with another human. I assume you are not actually the person portrayed in your profile, so I recommend that you generally go easier on the showmanship and just be honest and clear. Some ways to improve your profile: 1. Headline: I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn't be a staring contest. (Frank Sinatra) Remove this. Griphus is on point about why it needs to go. 2. I have 30,000 songs in ITunes and I like Jazz, blues, country, rock, and soul. I really believe there ain't but 2 types of music; good and bad. I play guitar and tried the pro thing for a while and moved to LA, but it wasn’t a good lifestyle for me. Now I mostly just strum Johnny Cash tunes and I sing some mean Elvis a capella. Edit this. Having a lot of iTunes songs is nice, but shouldn't be a selling point for you as a person. Your comment about there being only "good" and "bad" music makes you look narrow-minded. Your comment about "trying to go pro" on guitar made me literally roll my eyes. 3. I enjoy people with a good sense of humor and an understanding of the ironic. I find the occasional heated yet playful argument to be a good time, so I’d like to meet somebody not afraid to speak their mind. I have a lot of different and diverse interests and it is important to me to spend time with people who are interested in "something" as well. I’m looking for someone with a sense of intellectual curiosity, a passion, and/or unusual interests in life is something I appreciate in a person. This was the best paragraph, IMO, but even it needs to be retooled. Stop saying "I" so much! And for goodness sake...correct the final sentence. Seeing grammatical errors in a post littered with references to wanting a smart, worldly partner makes me laugh (and NOT in the way you want).

I am a big reader and one of my proudest accomplishments is that I read over 100 books in 2010. I like to learn what makes people and society tick so enjoy reading books about psychology, sociology, and political science. When I’m in a new or big city I like to just wander around and see what’s going on. I could do it for hours every day and just stop in somewhere to have a meal, coffee, or a beer. I am a cornucopia of useless knowledge and therefore a formidable opponent in Trivial Pursuit. Show, don't tell. List your three favorite books from the past year. List some of the most interesting discoveries you've made while wandering around in cities. List your three best bits of trivia. This gives your profile some texture, and gives women specific things to have in common with you. I find the occasional heated yet playful argument to be a good time, so I’d like to meet somebody not afraid to speak their mind. Seconding wordwoman: I, too, have strong opinions and can enjoy a spirited conversation about many topics, but "occasional heated yet playful argument" would be an instant NO WAY for me. Whether you intend to or not, it reads as potentially aggressive, competitive, and/or unable to admit to being wrong or to let other people hold opposing viewpoints. Also seconding the observation that there is a lot of "I" in there. Which is tricky, because of course the profile is about yourself, but think of ways to make your sentences more inclusive. Less "I'm a voracious reader" or even "My favorite books this year were [TITLES 1, 2, 3]", but more along the lines of "looking for a fellow voracious reader to discuss [TITLES 1, 2, or 3], or to introduce me to your own favorite books."

You seem awfully impressed with yourself, which in a way makes you seem very insecure. It seems more like you are looking for someone to fit into your life than a partner. I don't know what you want in a woman besides some very generic characteristics. I don't get a sense of you, only what you want to appear as. I'd like to know more about who you are, not just what you are. The last paragraph is the best, but it too is a bit generic.

I find the occasional heated yet playful argument to be a good time I love a good discussion, but heated arguments are about as appealing as a nice long session in the dentist's chair. "Spirited conversation" or "friendly debate" would be marginally better, but I'd rework the whole thing. Convey that you enjoy good conversations without highlighting the potential for disagreement, playful or not. You are unwittingly flying a red flag.

So raw numbers and generalities say nothing at all, never mind something interesting or rapport-building. I think this is a really good point. On a related note, one of the important things that I gradually realized in my 30s is that it's easy to mistake our stuff (the books on our nightstands, the number of songs in our iTunes, the stamps in our passports, etc.) as what's important about us and about other people, when in fact it's really the qualities that we share that matter. It's certainly enjoyable (and important, to a certain extent) to have interests and pursuits in common, but I think what really connects us underneath those are the qualities they signify -- for example, being a voracious reader can be a sign of curiosity; having a big music collection can be a sign of appreciating creativity; traveling extensively can be a sign of adventurousness. So think about the qualities that are actually the scaffolding of your specific interests, and make a pitch to convey those as what you're looking for in someone. Because, at the end of the day, you're (presumably) not looking for a jerk with a good music collection; you're looking for a good person who (hopefully) shares your interest in music. Again, this is not to say that you shouldn't mention music or books or whatever, but rather to say that a checklist of common interests doesn't ultimately say whether or not someone is likely to be a good potential partner.

Reading the other replies, I just wanted to add something: It sounds like you're trying very hard to impress your potential dates with feats of sophistication and intellect (like reading 100 books or developing a huge iTunes library or travelling all over the world.) Which is all well and good for you, but it's as useful for dating purposes as telling someone how much you can bench: that information and ability could be useful in context, but by itself it's like telling someone that they should appreciate this part of you rather than using that part of you to build rapport. I bet you could name 100 books (even on interesting topics) that you think would never be worth reading, or would reflect poorly on the person reading them, right? I bet you can name a whole bevy of songs in genres you like that are absolutely shitty as well. So raw numbers and generalities say nothing at all, never mind something interesting or rapport-building. Name some books and albums you could have a conversation about. Not ones that sound impressive, mind you, but ones you can reasonably expect other people to have read or heard. Get specific and you'll give people a way in to conversation with you that doesn't involve them saying "my, that's impressive, however did you do it?" Because, honestly, when we're talking about regular ole' people like I think you are and are looking for, no one wants to be on the not-you end of that conversation.

I think it's very forward for you to say you want someone to travel with you because your job is xyz. It sounds like you're looking for someone to be your perfect career accessory.

Griphus is on point about the numbers. Tough love: the listing of amounts of things you have consumed/own, rather than anything personal about those things, makes you sound immature and clueless about how shared tastes and passions can help build a relationship. You're not putting out a resume where you need to showcase your skillset or list of accomplishments, you're not applying to an institution of learning where you can submit _____MSAT score and have that stand on its own. Also... who are you really? All the real, important information here is between the lines, and if you don't provide it, it seems like you're obfuscating. What do you do for a living? What you've described could be anything from Habitat for Humanity to international drug dealing. You read over 100 books in a year. What else were you doing in that year when you read a book every three or four days? What books really hit you in your heart? You moved to LA, couldn't make it, then went somewhere else. "It wasn't a good lifestyle for me" hints at addiction or other serious issues (or you were just super poor in LA for a while?) but you don't explain what sounds like bad news, or maybe it was a humbling experience that made you grow as a person-- but we don't know. The line about Johnny Cash and acapella is the best, but a lot of the rest of your profile sounds like you're trying to hide who you really are behind numbers and coolness signifiers. Open up more. Oh and lose the Sinatra quote. "I like intelligent women" is shorthand for "my baseline expectation is that women are dumb."

I'm unsure how to do the without "I" thing in a section "about me". Honestly, one way is just to drop some of the personal pronouns. "I read a lot/I have 30,000 songs on iTunes/I have traveled extensively" becomes "Voracious reader/Passionate about music/Love traveling." Also, take some of the specifics about your interests and turn them around into showing an interest in getting to know someone else. "Would love to discuss [insert titles of favorite books or names of musicians here], or, even better, learn about your favorite books or music."