Massage Therapists Help Me NOT Be That Client

First off, in general once you have had the same masseuse for a while these sorts of questions are no longer a worry/an issue. More specifically, no one cares if you have shaved or not unless your stubble is literally made of broken glass. If body hair was an issue then how would most men get a massage? Re: the butt issue, when I first started going to my masseuse I couldn't figure out a way to say RUB MY BUTT that didn't sound like a maniac saying RUB MY BUTT so I asked my physical therapist, who found the conversation hilarious, and told me to say that I needed some work on my piriformis. My masseuse generally does it with her elbows and not her hands, although we know each other well enough now to laugh like preschoolers when she says "I'M GONNA TOUCH YOUR BUTT NOW OKAY".

It has never occurred to me to leave my underwear on for a massage, nor did it ever occur to me that glute massage was on the table (so to speak), until -- I was getting a massage one day, underwearless but covered by a sheet of course, chatting with the therapist about having done heavy squats the previous day, when a vigorous hamstring massage became a delightful glute massage as well. You can really just say your glutes are tight, can they please work on your glutes, etc. It's normal. Just don't, like, pull the sheet off your bottom half with a flourish (typically the massage therapist will uncover one "cheek" at a time so your crack etc stay covered).

Seconding that if you want a more thorough massage, make sure you're booking a 90min. massage and not a 60min.

I trained in aromatherapy and worked as a masseuse for a while. Stubbly legs are fine, it happens lots, and I've also been that client. I may be a freak but it doesn't actually feel unpleasant, it can feel sort of nice as it's just a bit of texture against the oils! I would always leave underwear on. You can always wear a thong if you want to leave maximum skin uncovered, but we're used to moving underwear and towels out of the way. As has already been said, be as clear as possible about what you want. Generally people are being nice, but whenever you're asked how it is, someone saying "more/less pressure, can you spend longer on X, I don't really like Y" is much more helpful than a constant "it's great/nice/lovely". (Unless it is, obviously!) My school also stayed away from glutes as a rule and stopped at the top of the thigh. But that was mostly because clients tend to be uncomfortable with someone going higher. But if that's what you want there would be no problem at all just stating that and the stroke can be taken as high as you want. Again, specify the pressure you want. I've had massages where I've barely felt it, and one particular one where I wanted to ask her what the hell I'd ever done to her! If you want it deep/gentle just say. The masseuse will be glad of the guidance. Likewise head massages. It was generally the last thing taught, and some places put very little emphasis on it. And as has been noted, lots of women especially don't want oil in their hair so ask for it to be skipped. You can ask for a longer head massage (and, say, less time spent on the hands or some other place you're not as bothered about), or add-in a specific treatment such as Indian head massage onto a full-body or back/neck treatment. Finally massage therapists, like anyone who works with the body, have seen most things - shapes, sizes, skin conditions, hairs, physical conditions, gnarly feet etc. Don't worry, it's all normal. You're worrying about your stubble, the next woman is worrying about her cellulite... It's fine. A good therapist will treat your body with genuine care and interest and the job is to please YOU. Enjoy!

Dear god, please, PLEASE be non-stinky. As in, recently showered, clean hair, no BO, clean ass, new gum, no heavy perfume, and if you have BV or something, wear a pad to minimize the smell. There is almost nothing worse than rubbing a stinky person for 60 minutes or feeling like you're going to pass out from their perfume. Nobody cares about your leg and body hair, it's fine. If you want work on your glutes, say "i'd like work on my glutes please, is that possible?". I never touch peoples' glutes unless they specifically request it because my governing college requires me to get special consent for gluteal work, and most clients are uncomfortable if you ask them if they want it done. Just don't be weird about it and it won't be weird. If you just leave your underwear off, I'll just think you want to be comfy, and if you start hinting that you want me to go "lower", I'll think you're a creep AND I won't be able to do it, because I can't ask for special consent to work on your glutes while you're on the table because of the power imbalance while you're nekkid. So just tell me what you want before we start. It's not weird, I promise. If you want me to work over the sheet or underwear and not on your bare skin, just say so. If you want specific work done, tell me. When I'm asking questions, don't try to rush through it to get on the table- it will just slow things down because I have specific information I need. But, don't go a rambling. Say "I want you to work on X and Y", and point to it. Don't spend 10 minutes telling me the story of how annoying it is that it hurts and how your grampa's dogsitter had something similar, and that reminds you how this other thing also hurts- you ever want to get on the table? - I know what information I need, keep it short and to the point please! If you have questions or don't understand what I'm doing, please ask! If you don't like what I'm doing, please tell! I can't read your mind. I don't need to be micromanaged, but I do need you to communicate with me! If I'm checking in with you during the treatment, it's not to annoy you- it's just to get specific information I need. If I'm not chatting very much with you, it's nothing personal. Please don't get offended. It's because I'm focusing on my work. Please don't feel obligated to make conversation with me. When I give you self-care, you are better off if you actually do the self care. I give it for a reason. Please do your self care if you really care about getting better, or you're not going to get the same results. But most of all- please, dear god, please don't be stinky. It is the worst.

I like to have my lower back, my waaayyyy lower back massaged. I found the best way to get that across was just to put my hand to mine (not just pointing) and say "And right here, as hard as you can," during the beginning of the appointment when I'm still fully dressed. I imagine the same would work for your glutes.

Stubble is not an issue. You're right that as long as you're not stinky, you're fine. My most recent massages have been all about my hips and glutes at my request, and I always leave my underwear on, I just also request the area because it's always tight. Really shouldn't be a problem (although be aware that sometimes it's hard for them to get the really tight muscles in there if it's something like piriformis that is deep). Basically, start making specific requests and give feedback ("that's nice, but can you go deeper?"). If the first massage therapist doesn't respond by doing those things, you should have lots of other options for the next time at a place like that. Once you find one who Does do what you ask, stick with them.

I always go with underwear, and having glutes worked on is typically not a problem. My favorite therapist is super amazing and realizes most of my issues connect on up to the glutes, so I don't even need to ask her. However, I have been to a massage school where they don't go anywhere near the glutes by default, and I'm not sure they would if asked. (They seem to be ultraparanoid about being sued for sexual harassment or something.) But in general, you can just ask. Should be totally fine for a professional.

I always leave my underwear on to get a massage. I think this is a YMMV. I've also gone in with stubbly legs, and that is definitely not an issue. Showered and squeaky clean is appreciated. My own massage therapist doesn't like people to wear perfume or cologne to their sessions as she has clients who are sensitive to fragrance. Yes, the sheets, etc. on the massage table are changed between clients but you don't want to leave a "vapor trail!" Glutes: I told my therapist that my hamstrings were tight and she worked on my glutes that day (using her elbow). She always asks me what body parts I want worked on so that she can concentrate on whatever muscle group I need massaged that day.