National Lampoon's European Vacation Moocher

Are you too old to go on vacation with your parents, with a little bit of their financial and planning help? No, of course not. Are you too old to add yourself to another couple's possibly-romantically-intended trip to France? Yes. You can feel free to drop a hint or two and see if they invite you, but honestly, as a super-asker, even I wouldn't ask in this situation. Traveling as a couple vs. traveling as a couple +1 -- even if it's your daughter -- is very different, and forget the money, you're asking them to change the whole tenor of their trip.

It's also not an all-or-nothing choice. You could hostel part of it, meet them for a few hours/days/weeks, and then split off or head home.

I think that if they had wanted you to join them, they would have asked you and planned it as a family trip from the get-go. This is especially true if the trip were just about getting in touch with their roots - they're your roots too, after all. It honestly sounds to me like you're trying to take advantage of your father's cushier travel style to make your dream trip a little more dreamy. I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with that, but as a financially independent adult it's something I personally would never do. If I had the means to plan my own trip as you say you do, I would just do that. I think the question posed above about whether this is about traveling as a family or just finding your way to France is a good one. To add to other's personal experiences, I would not ask my parents if I could tag along on their travel plans. They have traveled extensively since my siblings and I left the house and it has never occurred to any of us kids to ask if we can go with them - even when they've traveled to our dream destinations.

This is going to be my last reply in the thread, but just to be super clear: This trip is not yet planned. It's something they are thinking about maybe doing in summer 2014, more than six months from now. It's not like they already booked this trip and are leaving next month and now I'm like "Oh btw I bought my ticket! See you at the hotel!" This is all in the very early stages, right at the point where it would be appropriate for me to ask about going. Which is why I asked this question. I might be a presumptuous brat, but I'm not a complete shitheel. Christ.

I'm a grown ass woman. Am I too old to invite myself along? I'm not sure age is really relevant. It's the "inviting myself" part I'd have a problem with, at any age. This is purely my own opinion, obviously, but in general I think it's rude to invite yourself to *anything* other people have planned for themselves. It puts people in a really awkward position if they don't want you there. How do they tell you that without hurting your feelings and possibly creating some kind of long-lasting tension? And if they can't think of a way they might feel resentful that you're crashing time they'd rather spend alone. If I were funding my own trip, it would be hostels and buses the whole way, with 5-euro bottles of plonk and the occasional falafel. As someone who pretty much had this Parisian experience aged 23 you are underestimating how much fun it can be. I think it would be fun for me to go back in several years and be able to have the fancy-pants version as a self-sufficient middle aged person. But I wouldn't trade the "cheap-hotel-rude-Parisian-doorman-cheap-wine" version I had in a million years. Find a friend who'd like to go, or a single travellers meetup site, and plan your own trip. You'll love it.

Hmm. There is nothing wrong with vacationing with the parental units if you're invited. As an adult I don't think you can invite yourself. They may consider this their grand romantic trip to France and may not want you to cramp their style!

Am I too old to invite myself along? Is there ever an appropriate age for anyone to invite one's self to anything? I do not think so. While I do not know your parents, I am confident if they wished for you to join, you would know. You should wait to take your dream trip when it is *your* dream trip.

As others have said, you are not too old. For instance I know family where the elderly parents, in their 80s, yearly take adult children and grandchildren on family vacations and pay for nearly all expenses, excepting airfare. It is how they want to spend their money. However, as others have also noted, the question is about whether you are going to be imposing. Since it's a guess culture family I would just handle it like this on the phone with your dad next time: OP: Wow, you and stepmother must be having fun planning your trip? I have always wanted to go to France -- it's high up on my wish list, too! OP's Dad: a> Yes, mine too, we'll bring you a present! OR b> hmmm... let me talk to stepmother.... (invitation ensues; financial details are worked out.) That's about all you can do.

I'm 32 and I travel with my mother/parents sometimes. We split everything down the middle. However when I was younger and poorer, we would also travel together, however back then I told my mother my budget and she could either agree to stay in low-cost places where we'd split costs equally, or I'd give her my budgeted share for hotel rooms and she would pay the rest (in rare scenarios where she wanted to stay somewhere special.) The way it usually happens these days is one of us will be thinking of traveling somewhere and the other one will say "that sounds awesome-- if you want company for that trip, let me know." That way you're not inviting yourself, you're just expressing interest. There have been times she's said "this is just for Dad and I" and there have been times where I've told her "this is just for my husband and I." Likewise there have been times we've said "Yes! Come." And then we negotiate places, times, costs, etc in advance. My one big note is that you should not ask to come along in front of both of them, because they might have differing opinions. Send a casual email inquiry to both, so your parents can discuss between themselves and decide what their answer is. That way you're not springing it on them, and having one parent feel pressured in the moment to acquiesce. Also be clear in the email what you'd be able to pay for/that you might have to stay in separate, cheaper lodgings, etc. If they then offer to cover your costs-- great. But if they do invite you, be prepared to stay in different hotels or eat the cheapest items on the menus, or not accompany them on the expensive tours, etc, if they don't offer to cover your costs.