I smell like spoiled milk, can't my hair at least look good?

Also, there is nothing wrong with putting baby in a safe, pack n play type thing, close by while you shower, fix hair, etc. Happy mom means happy baby and you need to meet your needs. Take care of you first.... Baby will benefit.

If he's in a safe place, and all he's crying about is boredom or momentary separation anxiety, my advice would be to continue with the bouncy chair and the longer shower. Sure, he's upset, but he's going to have to get used to being temporarily frustrated, and if you can do so when there's absolutely no danger, you'll be better positioned later to distinguish between frustration and real danger. It's undoubtedly a lot harder on you than on him in the short run when he's screaming, but having a mom who's constantly frustrated would be a lot harder on him in the long run. That said, the final note on https://www.crazyguyonabike.com/doc/page/?o=1&page_id=96044&v=Zs kind of put things in perspective for me when I read it recently. The author wrote that after 2 days, she settled into a kind of low-level grunge that has been the norm for most of human history, and simply washing her face and hands felt like getting clean.

Honey, it's really okay to take a shower and let the kid shout it out for a few minutes. With my first, I wouldn't and that was stupid. With my second, I did because I had learned my lesson from my first. And I just let her deal. My method was: Get naked. Turn the shower on. Then put the baby down. Hop in the shower. Do my hair. Then quickly scrub my body, all the while yelling and singing songs to the kids. Then I'd get out, towel off, and pick the baby up for a nurse. I was in five to seven minutes top, and it made the rest of my day so much better. And for crying out loud, you have every right to take a shower. I can't speak to the hair thing as my hair is the exact opposite, but pony tails were very good friends of mine for a good long while. What else helped me not fell so unkempt was getting dressed every day and getting out of the house. I may not have looked my best, but I felt so much better just getting outside that I cared less about how I looked and felt less unkempt than I maybe was. Getting out was incredibly important, even if it was just a walk down to the convenience store two blocks away.

Shea Moisture Coconut & Hibiscus Curl & Hold Smoothie - 12 oz.Yes, it's a little pricey, but a little bit goes a LONG way. You don't need much, just distribute evenly. I just started using this product a few days ago & my husband commented "your hair is CURLY!" (instead of the frizz-ball I've been recently) It was about $10 at Target.

Do you sing in the shower? I've found baby to be a LOT more tolerant of sitting around in the bathroom if there's singing, peekaboo around the shower curtain, etc.

OP, I had an early few months a lot like yours. Everyone here who is telling you ways to just take a shower is trying to help you, because of course you will feel better if you take a shower. I just want to throw in another voice saying that when I had a newborn, people telling me I should put her down/let her cry so I could take care of myself did not make a dent in my capacity to do so, and in fact added to the pressure I already felt, as if I were being silly or wrong in my attachment style. Of course I knew I COULD let her cry for a few minutes, I knew I COULD use the play pen for something other than a clothes rack, but for some of us the 4th trimester is just very intense in a way that is hard to get around rationally. The baby's discomfort of any duration, during that brief time, rattles your hormone drenched soul. So here is one voice saying: if you can get yourself comfortable with putting him down and taking a shower, great! But if you aren't there YET, that is also OK, and it is good to find ways (like you're doing here) to feel better while you're in this phase. Of course, if it goes on more than a few months, re-think your priorities, but if you're just the intense fourth trimester type of new mom for a few months, just know it will be over soon and you'll barely even remember it except as a blur, while you (with a bit cleaner hair) switch your focus on keeping the baby from, say, walking into the street.

I don't trust just leaving him in the living room on the floor because who knows where he would roll. Maybe a pack'n'play, play yard, or some other type of playpen-type thing be the solution?

I have a different hair type but I find https://clients.mindbodyonline.com/ASP/home.asp?studioid=11584 by goody to be incredibly effective when I don't much time. They are essentially idiot proof (I know this from personal experience). It takes just a few seconds to create a secure, neat bun. Not glamorous hair but respectably put together. I often use them if I've washed my hair but don't have time to blow dry before work, but dry hair also works fine. I also find that I have passable waves when I remove the pins at the end of the day if my hair was wet when I put them in. I also like http://www.ulta.com/ulta/browse/productDetail.jsp?productId=xlsImpprod1500592for controlling frizz. Not everyone likes it, but most people who find it works for them LOVE it. On days I spin pin, I just put on the cream, spin pin it up and I'm done. Another item I've become addicted to are http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00CP4QKT4/metafilter-20/ref=nosim/. They really do help your hair dry significantly faster, not to mention it's just much more practical to have a small, light, secure towel on your head than a giant heavy thing falling all over you. You can also leave it on and do your other chores and come back to finish styling your hair when you're nearly totally dry or just get a free second from baby.

It seems like we might have http://www.flickr.com/photos/absquatulate/9193084664/: thick, wavy, prone to frizz (it's a great conversation started with my students on humid days :) and mildly oily, but not too bad. I do not have kids, but I have little to no patience for hair maintenance and no skill at all. I never had any luck with super fancy anti-frizz stuff (I'm looking at you, $30 bottle of Aveda goop) or with oils or anything like that. I never, ever, use a comb or brush, only fingers. Maybe try that to cut down on poof. If I use even a wide toothed comb, my hair ends up mushrooming. I also don't blow dry; even my hairdresser (bless her) comments on how long it takes to blow-dry it. I like hair products with shea butter in them. It makes my hair feel nourished and under control without a ton of heavy stickiness. I've had success with:http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0038TVH3Y/metafilter-20/ref=nosim/Yes, it's a little pricey, but a little bit goes a LONG way. You don't need much, just distribute evenly. The most control of the gels I'll be listing here.http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B004OX8TK2/metafilter-20/ref=nosim/- This is my go to hair gel. Great control without crunchies and it washed out of hair like a dream, so you don't get a ton of residue.http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B004OXAE3W/metafilter-20/ref=nosim/ - less hold, but good control. I used only this when my hair was long and the weight of it kept it wavy instead of curly. Good frizz control, washed out well, smells nice, and does a nice job overall.Alright, this isn't shea butter, but it's sold everywhere and you can't go wrong with the price: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B004DBXKWW/metafilter-20/ref=nosim/ - This stuff is amazing. It totally works. I bought it out of necessity on a trip, and it worked like a champ. I can sometimes get another non-wash day out of it with a little anti-frizz cream. I'd give my eyeteeth for the Suave spray gel, which worked wonders, or SunSilk creams, both of which have been discontinued I believe. I would also recommend http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000UUNY0I/metafilter-20/ref=nosim/ for those days when you can't shower, but want to tame the frizzies. It works wonderfully for me; hopefully you'll have similar luck. I agree on spinpins: if your hair is long enough, they make buns easy. Even I could use them (and I Have 10 thumbs when it comes to hairdressing skills.) For overnight, when I had long hair, I had http://www.flickr.com/photos/absquatulate/sets/72157634446790008/ with this technique: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLeSKaPaUOA (I dunno, it's just the title of the video.) You do this with dry hair, put a little anti-friz cream in, and then wrap your hair through the headband. Next morning, undo, and finger comb curls (or maybe comb, but if I did that, my hair would frizz, again.) Although do note the headband mark on my forehead after doing this... it took about an hour to go away, but if your goal is to have lovely hair for you, I'm certain your baby won't mind it :) I am not going to mention dry or waterless shampoo, although if you have enough time on non-wash days to put a little frizz cream in your hair, you might want to try something like http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0037LEKDW/metafilter-20/ref=nosim/ for those non-wash days. I have it, and I rub a bit into my roots and then use a dry towel to work it through. I don't know how it works (MAGIC?) but my hair feels refreshed and smells nice. Finish with some of that anti-frizz finishing cream, and I'm good to go. I hope you find something that works for you! Keep doing all those fabulous things you're doing, new mama! I salute you!