Someone I grew up with has seen me in mental health treatment. Now what?

I have been forcibly restrained in a psych ward and don't give a shit who knows it. Neither should you. The stigma attached to having mental illnesses will not go away until people who suffer from them do the same thing gay people have done, and come out. Life's too short to live it in hiding. How do I deal with this, with all my issues and limitations, and hold on to my dignity? By taking the truly courageous step of not trying to hide from it any more. By knowing that yes, you're busted, you can't actually prevent this person knowing what he now knows, and deciding that the inevitable is acceptable. By confronting this issue instead of trying to find elaborate ruses to avoid it. By holding your head high and reminding yourself that you have a perfect right to say Fuck You to any prick who gives you grief about being in treatment for a mental illness.

Hi dee lee, I'm sorry that you're struggling right now. I'm not sure how well I can accurately address all of your concerns and phobias. But allow me to offer a little perspective. First, I once was in a psych waiting room, as I had to be admitted to a psych ward for fear I would harm myself. I was ordered to be "watched" by a nurse for the entire 8 hour wait. During that time, there was a woman who I went to high school with who works in administration at the hospital who passed me on the hall several times, I had not seen her since high school, and although we both seemed to acknowledge each other, we didn't speak. She found me on facebook about a month later, and I confirmed that it was her. We ended up having lunch. It turned out that she knew why I was there based on where I was sitting, but she reached out to me because she had been in a similar situation a few years before. She had more compassion and less judgement than I was worried about at the time. She has turned out to be a great friend. In regards to your case in particular, I think that being mentally unstable is MUCH less stigmatized then it used to be. I am not particularly afraid of sharing my experiences with others, although I am guarded and careful at work and in other sensetive situations. Is it possible that this person is interested in social work because he's had some experience with mental illness? Perhaps among friends and family? Is it possible that he would safeguard your secret? I would encourage you to continue with the program, perhaps consider approaching him and pre-emptively thanking him for understanding your need for confidentiality and anonymity. Consider saying hello and trying something like "Yourname, it is good to see you. I really appreciate that you will take my desire for complete confidentiality seriously and not talk abut seeing me here with family/friends from hometown..." Perhaps consider engaging him on why he chose this line of work? Caveat, I do not know what it is like to have social anxiety or phobia, and am not sure if you feel you would be able to approach or speak with him. I would just like you to know that many people with mental health issues are very smart and capable, and I doubt that most people volunteering or working there think that you are less capable as a human because you need help right now. It takes a lot of strength to admit there's a problem and to seek treatment. Don't sell yourself short because you are afraid of the stigma!

As someone who's been there... people are kinder than you think they are. Really.

I would tell your program you're not comfortable with him watching your treatment. They should be ones working around this problem. I would probably feel very much like you do. Who wants someone they didn't particularly like when they were younger watching them in a circumstance like this? Nobody.

Here are some of my thoughts: 1. If he's in the field of psychology, he likely has compassion for people who are suffering. Many psychology students, in fact, have gone through their own mental health issues. At the very least, he probably has some scientific understanding of mental illness and if he's a worthwhile person at all, he won't judge you negatively. 2. If he disclosed anything about you to his friends/family/the community at large about your treatment, he most likely would be kicked out of his program. I completed a master's in counseling psychology and if anyone had divulged client information to their friends, that student would have been kicked out of the program. It doesn't matter if he didn't sign a confidentiality agreement yet. Maintaining confidentiality is an inherent part of the field. 3. If he did disclose information about you to your friends, what do you think your friends would think? If I was on the receiving end of this sort of information, I would immediately question whether I wanted to remain friends with the person DELIVERING the information.. Basically, I would think of this guy as a scumbag, while my opinion of you wouldn't change.

My husband completed several internships while working on his coding degree and certifications. He worked in an inpatient mental health facility and only told me, "The building and grounds are pretty." That's all I knew about his days for six weeks. Confidentiality is built into the curriculum long before people go on site visits.

Nthing that you can request that he have no contact with you. Something else to think about-- a lot of people who get involved with social work, especially mental health, have personal experience with mental illness and trauma. "His family is very well-off and well-respected, mine, not so much." seems to indicate a lot of shame triggers for you, but you may not know the whole story on this guy, his family life, and what he's gone through either when or since you knew him as kids, and the "respectable doctor--> not-so-respectable mentally ill patient" dynamic might not be as clear cut as you think.

I can certainly understand where the anxiety would come from- I too have encountered people I know in "real life" in such potentially embarrassing situations. Nothing has ever come of it, FWIW. I think there are a couple things that work in your favor. One, there is the expectation of confidentiality, even if they didn't sign the paperwork. Two is that someone who has chosen social work is probably going to be empathetic. I would work with your therapist or doctor to try and identify what part of your anxiety comes from the legitimate feelings of fear and embarrassment, and what part is just a symptom of your social phobia. Because as you probably know, some portion of what you are feeling is just part of your disorder. Lastly, I would offer that even if your fears come to pass and this person starts gossipping, you won't be defined as a mentally ill person if you don't allow it. Own your problem, and own the work that you are doing to take care of it. "Wow, Bob told you I was a patient in the XYZ Center? I can't believe he would do that. Anyway, yeah, I was there because I was having some problems, and they really helped me. I'm feeling much better now!"

There are sizable criminal and civil penalties under HIPAA should anyone disclose anything about your treatment (including the mere fact that you are getting treatment at all) outside of the circle of people who need to know (defined as people involved in Treatment, Payment, and Operations). It would be a HUGE breach if anyone touring a mental health treatment facility for any reason revealed anything about who was in the facility. This is whether or not any specific agreement has been signed. It is unimaginable to me that touring group members would not have been forewarned that this could happen and that they absolutely cannot divulge anything. You can absolutely request not to have any contact with this person if you like.