How To Win Him Back?

How do I win my ex back after a year apart?

• We dated for 2 years and I moved out of state to be with him. We are both young and he had been living mostly at school for a year before I moved out there. It was my first time on my own and I made some poor decisions. Ended up drunkenly cheating on him. I did not have sex, but did give somebody head. Ugh, still very painful for me to think about. I was honest and told him almost immediately and that I regretted it and begged him to give me another chance. He was very, very good to me. I've had other boyfriends and this kind of sweet and genuine person is very hard to come by. He did not take me back, but left me with these words when I went back home. "I don't know what the future holds, I can't take you back right now. You've hurt me too much, but I'm not saying we won't get back together in a few months or in a few years. I do love and care for you." So I went home got a new job and a new boyfriend. Made me realize once again how good my ex was to me. We spoke every once in a while both of us initiated contact, but it was never anything of substance, because I didn't want to hurt my current bf. Long story short. New bf cheated on me with his ex. Planned a trip and cheated on me. Karma is a ***** and now I've gone through what my ex has. I want my ex back. However he lives 3 hours away, still at school. And I don't know how to approach the situation. He is not a big texter, but does text me back most of the time. I can't just bump into him, because he lives in another state. I can visit friends and then tell him I'm around and see if maybe he'll hang out or get lunch with me, but that cannot be often. I don't want it to seem like now that I'm single for 3 weeks I want him back, so maybe I wait a little. I want him to know I have changed and give me another shot without being so up front about it

• Answer:

  First off, you did have sex. Just because you didn't have intercourse doesn't mean you didn't have sex. You can't "get him back". However you may be able to prove yourself by proving to be a decent person. With him living so far away from you it will be hard because you have proven yourself to be untrustworthy. How would you react if the situation was reversed? You would probably never trust him again. If your current ex had not cheated on you where would you be? Would you still be with him? Could you ever forgive this ex for his cheating? Would you forgive and forget?