Am I selfish if I choose to have a great career over a great marriage, if I had to choose between them?

It's your life. Nobody's begging you to get married. Do what you like.

Seriously you must have major issues if you continually need to ask strangers how to run your own life. No wonder you think the man should take control of his partners life and tell her what to do. Try running your own life for a while and not base it on what other people think.

I don't see it as a matter of being selfish or unselfish... But more as a matter of opinion... I don't agree with you, but at the same time, it's not something I would hold against you as a person. Great careers can end just as fast (if not faster) than a great marriage, and there's going to be up's and down's within a career as well. There's going to be bosses you don't like, gossipy coworkers, clients that throw tantrums... There's fights in marriages too, but at least you would be on more even ground than if you had a dispute with your boss. Being in a marriage shouldn't stop you from pursuing your life dreams or accomplishing your career goals: If anything, it gives you someone to help you plan, vent, or just lean on when you need to. It's closer than a friend, and more intimate (in certain ways) than a relative. There's no reason for you to give up your entire financial independence within a marriage: Sure, you might share some of the bills or file joint tax returns, but you can still maintain separate accounts, pay for your own car, or even split the house bills 50/50... Finding the right person is what makes all the difference, and being with someone who truly loves and understands you is what makes a marriage great.

The notion of 'selfish' is societal brainwashing. It's is used in the same way racism is used today in American politics. It's used to coerce and scare people in to doing what others want or just to simply oppress them. People do things for 1 of 3 reasons: 1) The directly benefit in some way from it. 2) Some one else benefits from it and they indirectly benefit (Giving to charity. They get to feel special about it and altruistic and enlightened. I call it giving yourself a spiritual beer). And 3) they do something so they don't feel bad about themselves. OH! My favorite! This one is the problem. :) About two years ago, a guy approached me and told me his car ran out of gas and he was desperately needing $5 so he can get himself home. I can tell his story was legit, he was wearing a shirt/tie, ect... All I had were $20s, so I just gave him one of those. Point here is I did it so I wouldn't feel bad about myself. I didn't have to, and I didn't want to, but I did it anyway. I'm a selfish person, and an asshole. I gave him $20 so I wouldn't feel bad about myself. I am no better than those who told him no. The person who gives to charity is no better than those who sit on their couch and drink their $$ away. Both are simply perusing their needs in different ways. Yes, you are selfish; so is every single other human being on the planet. There is not single living entity capable of creating fecal matter on this planet that is not selfish. Do whatever you want. Have fun.

No, some people have different goals. Find someone else who has the same outlook as you. I think a balance sounds great myself, but not everyone does.

once again...no , its not selfish ..its good you know what you want...a career and not a husband...nothing wrong with that...but the way you keep trying to validate your self, leads me to believe you really don't know what you want...but in any case scenerio , I don't think you are selfless enough to get a husband....

You never will find the true love of your life so get a career. We just find good loves of our lives and make the best of them.

No, you're not selfish. I have no intention of marrying. I'm happy to carry on working and not having to depend o others. So what makes you any different.

You have to choose your own path in life and it is what it is. There is no selfish involved. If you want the approval of others then you are not certain of your goal. It is your job to figure that out. No one can do it for you. Good luck though and Happy Monday! :)