How to control the mind when the pain is extremely bad, when my loved one is married another girl?

Talking through the pain with a family member, friend or therapist is usually the most healthy thing you can do to deal with the pain, because those of us that are left behind have to continue living; it's our blessing and our curse (in a non-religious manner).

You have got yourself into a perceptual loop. Your mind keeps circling around and around that one painful memory. The only way you can break out of it is to stop the tape that's playing in your head. Imagine you have an 'ON' & 'OFF' switch that goes to your mind, and imagine someone has flipped it OFF. Just sit there and stop thinking. Hold that moment for as long as you can. Then, when you start playing that loop again, flip the OFF switch again, stop and clear you mind for as long as you can. It sounds simple, doesn't it? But every time you break that loop, you weaken it. Practice it all day long, then the next day and the next day. The next thing is this. You were not meant to be with him. That means, there is someone else out there for you far better in every way! According to the law of attraction, you won't attract that special person into your life, until you let go of the guy you are not meant to be with. We do have power over our reactions and emotions. I like the wording of your question, asking how to control your mind. That shows quite a bit of insight on your part. Every time you start that loop again, tell yourself its stupid to keep going back to that because you're not meant to be with that person, and you're not going to hurt yourself any more. Then, flick the OFF switch for as long as you can. What you will realize is that the more you do it, the more control you will have. Its like exercising a muscle. Look only forward. You'll already lived what's behind you. It has nothing more to offer. Good luck!

That would be very painful. You need to let your feelings out, talk about it never avid your feelings. You should see a counsellor about the issue if you are that distressed. Write a diary about how you feel and the relationship, cry as much as you want, but seek help as well.

I'm sorry you are in pain; only time will help. When a person loses their loved one through death, they have recourse to grief counselling. I would suggest some short-term psychological counselling so you can talk it out with someone other than friends. Professionals can often give you advice as to how to cope while you are going through this stage of grief. Please know that time will help the pain, and even though you don't think so now, you will meet someone else to love.

No, I was saying that I think that losing a boyfriend is a lot like grief over any loss. I never thought of that when I was single and dating. Maybe reading a book on grief recovery would help.

Yes I am sorry for giving a wrong picture of the story.. Thanks

When I started reading your question, I thought you were talking about the death of a loved one. I think you're experiencing grief. It might help if you read something about grief recovery.

You are welcome! Thanks. Maybe God will provide another person you may love as much and more. Ask God to help. Best wishes.

thanks so much.. :) God bless you