What are the ways to start a conversation and how to maintain it? How to personalize a conversation?

Thanks for the A2AFirst of all don't push yourself too hard to get along with people then there is a high chance you will end up feeling low. You are an introvert, there is nothing wrong. Be Positive. Networking and befriending people are not always same scenario. Scene 1: You are meeting a person(not boy or girl, a person - get the idea) at social gathering: You start your conversation with your introduction and ask him/her that what brought him/her there? and don't let go away the string. Conversation is nothing but knotting different strings in a meaningful way. In most of cases be aware that you are going to be asked for the same questions. Ask about the hobbies: in this field there are lot of things to talk about. Books, Music, Travel, Photography etc etc. You need not to follow dale carnegie to speak with people. Stay Confident and Be Yourself. Scene 2: Same social gathering but instead of one-one conversation try for Group conversations. You will find many groups in these gatherings talking about different stuff. Just find your topic of interest and sneak-in :) This will help you to avoid pressure of starting a conversation. Don't try to outsmart anyone or hurt anyone's belief/feelings. Scene 3: When you are meeting a professional: Talking with professionals is easy and only takes interest and knowledge. If you are trying to interact with the person you must have an idea about his/her work and make sure he/she has free time to chat with you. You  tell him/her that how you admire the work and always wanted to get a proper insight, it will be more worthy to belief if you ask questions. In engineering, take advice about your career options, projects, journals. He/She will not let you down if you are really interested. Ask them whether they will be disturbed if you contact them in future regarding your project/course and ask for the E-mail ID. In the above cases one thing is common: Be a Good Listener. Feel free to ask any more question.

http://www.wikihow.com/Introduce-Yourself if necessary. If you don’t know the person, breaking the ice is very simple: http://www.wikihow.com/Look-Approachable, tell the new person your name, offer your http://www.wikihow.com/Shake-Hands, and smile. Remark on the location or occasion. http://www.wikihow.com/Ask-Open-Ended-Questions.  Most people love to talk about themselves; example:- "Do you like books?" Know how to combine general remarks with open-ended questions. Since either one of these might be awkward or out-of-place on its own, combine them for maximum effect. For example: Keep the conversation going with http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Small-Talk.  This keeps the conversation light and simple, which is especially  useful for people who are still getting to know one another better. Use  small talk to establish rapport and similarities rather than set each  other up for an opinionated argument. http://www.wikihow.com/Make-People-Appreciate-and-Like-You.  Once your partner-in-conversation has started talking, follow his or  her cue to keep the conversation going smoothly. Use active listening to  reflect what they're saying and to summarize their possible feelings. http://www.wikihow.com/Smile a lot  and laugh when the other person makes a funny comment. Don’t force  laughter, as this is cringe-inducing; smile and nod instead. Use words of a sensory nature. These are words such as "see", "imagine", "feel", "tell", "http://www.wikihow.com/Develop-Common-Sense", etc., which encourage the other person to keep painting a descriptive picture as part of their conversation. Be aware of your internal monologue.  When you suddenly feel that you're not able to engage in conversation  with another person, it's likely that you're telling yourself a few  negative things, such as worrying that you're boring, not good enough,  too unimportant, intruding, wasting their time, etc. Respond thoughtfully to someone who remains awkward or uncomfortable in your presence. If your conversation partner appears http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Less-Withdrawn and uninterested in sharing information with you, don't persist too  much. Try a little more before making a decision to move on. Maintain the equilibrium.  As the person who started the conversation, the responsibility  initially rests with you to maintain the momentum. So what happens when  the other person starts practicing active listening and open questions  back on you? You have several options: Practice getting conversations started. You may feel a little clumsy at first, but with practice it can become easy to start good http://www.wikihow.com/Have-a-Great-Conversation.  Every time you're in a situation where you're called upon to converse  with others, see it as part of your ongoing practice, and note how  you're improving each time that you try it.

Notice something special, weird etc they are wearing. And ask what is it..!! Or give a positive comment  about it. And ask follow up questions. If they say:"thank you it's a gift from my mother" ask if it was in their birthday, when their birthday?  Then simply change the subject. If they were kind enough then they will ask you questions. Answer giving them a chance to ask follow up question, never answer with one or two words only!!! And accept compliments.. Or you can wear something weird and it will be a start of conversation, remember answer with few details that they can ask you follow up questions.

A good approach is to use the FORD mnemonic. FAMILY - ask questions about their family. Are they married, do they have kids, how old the kids are OCCUPATION - What do they do, where do they work, what is the commute like, how much holiday they get RECREATION - what do they do in their off time. Are they a golfer or a soccer fanatic. Do they run or swim or surf (the couch). Are they coding or studying or baking? DREAMS - What do they want to do and who do they want to be. You can ask about pensions and wedding plans; house moves and dream holidays. Emigrating or startups I came across this a few months ago and with a bit of practice it works. It does feel a bit artificial but if you move from one area to the next you soon get a reputation as a great listener and really empathetic.

By listening first. Asking questions, and then speaking up.

Starting a conversation is probably no easy task especially with someone who is a complete stranger. Yet, it is an essential part of socialization and communication. Probably you gather quite a fair bit of terrified or reluctant response from your friends and colleagues on initiating conversations. As much as people try to avoid the possibility of rejection, starting conversation is a great skill and it will prove to be useful in many aspects of your life – privately, socially and professionally. The following steps and tips will help you start a good conversation with people. 1.      Simply say “Hi!” (Nothing else beats this!) and introduce yourself “I’m Peter”.   2.      Comment on the activity that the individual is doing and ask questions about it. For example, if the individual is reading a news article, simply comment “Wow, this photograph really illustrates the importance of family ties, doesn’t it?”   3.      Compliment the individual. For instance if the lady is wearing a sleek high heels, perhaps you can comment, “That’s a pretty sleek pair of heels you’ve got. Where did you buy them?” When it comes to praising, be sincere and honest. You’ll sound hypocritical or insincere if you praise things that come across as common.   4.      Besides compliments, you can choose to ask questions that are neutral, non-intrusive, and yet relates to the individual. “Do you come here often? I heard that the Fish & Chips are good, what do you think?” Most people love to talk about themselves hence an open question gets them going.   5.      Relate the initial conversation with small talks such as “I heard that the restaurant down the street offers great Fish & Chips too! Beers with Fish & Chips is simply awesome, don’t you think so?” Small talks include related topics within the community, website, relevant news, kids, vacation etc.   6.      Be thoughtful and observant about the individual’s response. If the individual is unresponsive or uncomfortable, perhaps you should avoid persisting too much. Reflect on your questions, some people may be sensitive to topics such as weight issue, academic qualification. If the individual is looking at a watch, you should either change the topic or shorten the conversation.   7.      Center the conversation on the topic instead of yourself. When the individual open questions back on you, talk about the topic itself or answer with a question. “Well, I jog twice a week. The breeze while jogging and the scenery – it is perfect! Where do you usually jog?” This way, the individual starts thinking, recounting and talking again.   8.      Poke fun at yourself. This is a great way to build the relationship when the conversation partner and you know each other but not to the extent of being good friends. You will find yourself having an enjoyable time being teased at!   9.      Exit the conversation politely. You can choose to go back to find your friends or simply grab a drink. If you meet someone that you know, notify your conversation partner and move away.   10.   Practice! Nothing beats practicing. You will find yourself initiating conversation easily in no time!   Additional tips: 1.      Avoid sensitive topics like politics, religion, race, conflict, gender, philosophy and criticism. Instead of criticizing, comment that improvement or intervention is needed. Criticizing may leave an impression of whiny, immature, petty, aggressive or negative.   2.       Acknowledge the individual’s reaction. “Oh, I see”, “Awesome, isn’t it”, “Wow, that is quite impressive”, “Really? No kidding!”.   3.      Be open about your body language- maintain eye contact and avoid slouching. Lean slightly forward when listening; this indicates that you are paying attention. Occasionally, nod in agreement.   4.      Smile! Smiling is contagious. When you smile, the individual will most probably return a smile. However, avoid forcing a smile or laughter under inappropriate circumstances. Smiling while discussing about a recent typhoon is definitely inappropriate.   5.      Chuck all the negativity, insecurity and self-doubt out of the window! It is natural to think that you are boring or feel uneasy. Rests assure that everyone else feels the same way. Instead of focusing on yourself, you should focus on getting the conversation interesting for both you and the individual.   6.      Be patient and listen. Often, we can’t wait to speak our mind that we neglect the conversation partner’s point of view. Listening opens up our mind and engages the other individual. However, you can speak about your idea and ask for opinion. “This book is really engaging. I really hope that the author is planning for a sequel. What do you say? Do you think that this should be the perfect ending or you look forward to a sequel?”   7.      Be polite and courteous. “Thank you” and “May I” are some basic courtesy that everyone should say in any conversation. Besides this, under no circumstances should the individual be interrupted. Insulting, disrespectful and arrogant behaviors should also be avoided.   8.      Avoid mumbling. Speak confidently and clearly. The last thing you wish to happen is the individual getting frustrated repeatedly saying “Sorry” or “Can you repeat? I can’t understand you”.   9.      If you are shy, have one or two topics ready before saying “Hi”. http://Chatoms.com is a great site to find random conversation starters.   10.   Keep yourself updated with the news. Latest events and news are relevant and relateable.   11.   There are instances when you are unsure if the conversation starter is relevant or interesting. One way to overcome this is to watch and learn from stand up comedians. Comedians usually grab the audience’s attention with humorous conversation starters. The good side to this? You do not have to worry if the conversation starter is interesting as long as it is funny!

I come from modest background. I used to have little projects like crack this social circle, hang out with these cool guys etc. etc. figure how to crack the in set and hang out with them. after a while I realised all these people as boring as anyone else. So i stopped wasting my time trying to crack these circles only to be disappointed once I did.