How to give a male friend advice?

How do I return the favor in this dynamic? Cookies, beer, fingerless gloves, glow-in-the-dark shoelaces, whatever is up his alley. With a nice card that says "thanks for being such a good friend with such great advice, I want you to know I am always here for you anytime you need me to return the favor." And then don't worry about keeping score.

Ask him. Sounds like he'll have some great advice for you.

I don't know if sex has too much to do with it, but I am a guy, and I love giving advice. I love being the fixer. My own struggles with taking advice aside, there is nothing more satisfying to me than to help someone through something. And I say that hands down. There simply is no conversation more enjoyable to me that speaking with someone who has a problem, personal or otherwise, and being able to walk away knowing that they are armed with a solution, or at the very least feel better about themselves and/or the situation as a whole. I do struggle with taking advice, however, and while I have a full rational grasp that I don't know everything, I often find myself inadvertently tuning out when being advised on what to do unless I have specifically asked for advice. (Something I am honestly working on). So, long story short, as a guy, I find the best reward for giving good advice is the opportunity to be able to give good advice. If he were me, you'd be doing me MUCH more of a service in continuing to be the "go-to" guy, than trying to step in and solve problems you perceive me as having. (on preview, headnsouth's suggestion is good to, just don't stroke the ego TOO much.)

How do I return the favor in this dynamic? You already are. Should I pry into his problems so that I can give him some advice? Good lord, no. If not, how else can I 'balance' things up, other than giving him advice? You are the only one worried about this. If he's as sensible as you say, he's aware of the difference here, and it doesn't bother him. I am someone that friends come to for advice sometimes, and I almost never ask for the same, because that's just how I am. It sounds like that's just how he is. He likes giving advice and doesn't like asking for it (and, by extension, probably doesn't love receiving it), so the way things are right now is the way he likes them. There's no need to balance things. There's every chance he doesn't even notice the difference. I don't want to be taking all the time so that our friendship becomes parasitic. You aren't and it isn't. If he wants advice, he will ask for it.

Please consider that he might not think of this as a quid pro quo thing. Your need to "balance" things is yours, not necessarily his. Let him know you care about him and appreciate his help and insight, and want him to know you're happy to help whenever he asks. Then drop it.

If your friend is at all like me, he won't often need your advice. That's not because your skills and experiences are worth less, but because he (like me) has a good intuition for problem solving. I work in a position as a troubleshooter (tech support for a research lab) and I enjoy it and excel at it. I'm just good at figuring things out, and it seems like he is, too. It drives my wife batty, but my friends often call me to pick my brain about things, and she thinks I get taken advantage of since I (seemingly) get little in return. Thing is - I enjoy being useful and helpful. I like having new problems to solve and new things to think about, and I take pride in being someone people feel can be counted on. And there is little worse than seeing a friend struggle and not be able to help somehow. So, if your friend is at all like me, I think you should throw this "ledger" nonsense in the bin, and show your friend you appreciate him in other ways. But, I'd bet he'd continue to help you no matter what. It's what makes him tick.

Nthing that he probably enjoys it. Note: you asked this question to a room full of people who hang around giving advice to strangers, because we enjoy it. Take whatever you will from that fact.

I would add that he might be the type of person who finds genuine pleasure in giving advice. He might feel totally comfortable, even safe, in the sort of relationship in which he's allowed to help without feeling vulnerable. I have friends like that. A question to ask yourself: Might this be a bit about you? Could it be that you feel a bit exposed and are looking to "balance" the relationship in that sense? Not implying that's the case, though it perfectly could be.

how else can I 'balance' things up I don't think you need to balance things, but in terms of your desire to reciprocate I would suggest maybe taking note of small things and offering occasional thoughtful tips, gifts or efforts that show care and attention. With these caveats: * Occasional! If someone were presenting me with gifts or doing research or footwork every time I mentioned something, I would stop mentioning things because it would feel like I was asking them to give me something, or do something for me. You need to be subtle and graceful with this. * No big pricey things or major efforts. Again, that would just make me feel freaked out and worried about saying anything lest I get an expensive gift or overwhelming favor as a result. I'm not a guy, by the way, but I am a person who also doesn't really want quid pro quo advice from friends just because I might happen to give them some helpful advice. However, as far as it goes, I'm personally much more comfortable with practical advice than personal advice. For example, you can be my hero if you can tell me where to shop for [specific thing] because I'm not a shopper, and hate shopping, and almost never know where to go to easily and directly buy something super specific. If you loan me a wonderful book that you know I'll like, that is just about the purest form of friendship to me. If you happened to at some point bring over a nice slice or more of your great grandma's-recipe apple pie because at one point I mention I haven't had real apple pie since forever, I wouldn't cry. A nice bottle of wine to share with you wouldn't send me running for the hills. If you wanted to connect me with a a great CPA you know who is knowledgeable about my kind of weird tax situation, I would kiss you. So! My advice is just to keep your ears open, and when something seems natural and helpful, you can step up... but don't be driven to even up the friendship points. If your friend is like me, he just really enjoys talking with you and hanging out sometimes, and it would never occur to him that there was an imbalance at all.