Two people. One income. Indefinitely. How to make it work?

Is there a reason why you can't get a job in town until you figure out the next step in regard to your own career prospects?

No amount of 'Netflix' 'espresso' level cutback is going to make a major difference for you. For your own sake (and for the quiet angst your boyfriend may start to feel), a job is your best answer. A job - any job - will make a much more real and significant difference in your quality of life. No reduction of expenses can take the place of say, $1,000 a month - and that's just income from a part-time job! Take a job, work in a coffee shop, bookstore, library, amusement park - no job is beneath when it comes to the relief of strain and pressure on both of you, and an an uplift in a better quality-of-life.

I'm in the same boat; I've been looking for a job since September. Here's what I've learned: - Check all avenues for assistance: unemployment benefits, food stamps, rent assistance, etc. It might be embarrassing to you, but the safety net exists for just such this reason. The United Way's 211 directory is a great place to start. - I am ineligible for unemployment in my state because I worked for a nonprofit, so I have tried to come up with ways to freelance. Figure out your skills and convince people that you can solve their problems. You'll get a sense of satisfaction for a job well done even if you don't make a ton of money. - People will tell you to look for employment as if it's your full-time job, and it's true that you need to be consistent and eager in your search. But beware the other side: You can also find yourself feeling guilty because you're not applying for jobs at 10 p.m. I think it's harmful to feel like "I'm awake; I should be searching." Give yourself the weekends off, or a specific cut-off time daily. - I wouldn't suspend the Netflix account; streaming only is $8/month. It's totally worth it for your sanity. If you're like me, you will have days where you need some escapism. If it's raining and you can't go for a walk, and you've applied for all the jobs you want to, and you're booooorrred, it's going to suck if you can't at least - Standard money-saving tips apply. Buy in bulk, watch your electricity usage (open the windows instead of turning on the A/C, etc). Find out what you like to do that's entertaining and cheap. I like Pinterest; it lets me window shop, basically, without spending money (let me know if you need an invite). You're right, though. Eliminating all unnecessary expenses is demoralizing. Do what you can, but maybe one night a month you an order a pizza or something. You can spend an hour at a coffee shop with a $2 coffee if you just need to get out of the house. For me, cutting out all the fun makes life very dreary, and it makes both parties resentful. - One of the stickier points in my situation has been the division of housework. I have felt like it should be my job, since my partner is working all day. Let me tell you, I've never been the type to put on my pearls and have a piping-hot dinner waiting at 6p.m., and being unemployed certainly didn't change that. Y'all should probably talk about the division of those responsibilities in light of your new situation. Being unemployed doesn't suck entirely, though: You will have time to recharge and really think about where you want your career to go. I've been able to paint my nails crazy colors and my hair grew out of its awkward stage in private. I've been re-energized enough to start writing for myself again, and I sometimes get to read in the sun while everyone else is chained to their desks.

my humiliation about being dependent on someone and not earning my own income, I want to tackle this one. First, the gentle approach: nobody makes it on their own. EVERYBODY receives a leg up and help at some point in their lives. The less gentle approach: There is no fundamental moral good to earning an income. None whatsoever. What must you think of people who don't work? Retired people, housewives, people who can't work because of their health, people hurt on the job, children, the elderly, people in third world countries, the enslaved who receive no income for their work, the independently wealthy. And what must you think of me? If we could afford it, I would quit my job in a heartbeat. In my job, I provide a minor service. I see many people around me who are ostensibly enacting programs to help people which actually have very little impact. I could do more for people not working than I do holed up in my cubicle 8 hours per day. I can't imagine who would care that you're not earning an income or what possible leg they could have to stand on in judging you for it. If I got laid off today, I'd be in financial ruin. But my first response would be "woo hoo!" and I'd keep returning to it.

You sacrificed for his career - opportunity costs are real costs - so it seems to me you shouldn't feel bad about leaning on him financially. Besides which, sharing isn't all that bad - it may make you both better people. Just make sure you don't have to ask/pester him for money; it can feel humiliating to you even if he doesn't mind or even notice. A regularly-scheduled bank transfer or check can help with this. As for activity/self-respect/not being miserable, It sounds like you have a long-term plan, but need something to tide you over until fall. Of course a job would help, but since they're scarce in your area I suggest that you teach yourself a new skill, the payoff from which you and your boyfriend can both enjoy. Whether your tastes run towards carpentry (treehouse!), baking (fresh bread!), brewing (beer!), bow hunting (roast turkey!), weaving (mittens!), gardening (basil!) or financial speculation (societal collapse!), it might be cool to learn something a)fun b)new c)rewarding d)that he can't do. Raw materials/supplies often cost less than the finished product, so you'd be contributing to household expenses as well as impressing both of you with your awesomeness. Good luck.

The university is generally supportive of efforts to help both partners find a place for themselves at the university. I was given a one-year post-doc with the promise/implication that something would work out for the long term. It's not working out and my post-doc funding ends at the end of April...Broader context is that this is an absolutely terrible place to look for work- there are 14 listings on Idealist for the entire state. Man, this is the most "not really answering the question you asked" answer I have ever posted, but in that case, can you BOTH go back on the academic job market? They gave Mr. Hedgehog the impression that you would be employed in your field if you both moved to Tiny Town. They must have known he wouldn't move without a job for you, and that you wouldn't get a job if they didn't give you one, which is why they came up with the postdoc. A year in, they reneged on their promise now that they have what they want- Mr. Hedgehog in a position they needed filled, and the two of you settled in and reluctant to move. They don't care that they have hung both of you (you because come on, him because he loves you) out to dry. I think you should both go back on the market and plan an escape for Fall 2013. Then, there's a firm deadline for when you will have two incomes again. You can use all of the advice above to live tight until then, then move on.

This is nuts. Share and share alike, and don't worry about spending your boyfriend's money. Set up a budget. Stick to it. Since you moved to the town because of his job, it's reasonable to expect that he will support you. In the meantime, find a survival job, and save up some money so at least you have an escape plan.

Don't rule out online freelance work. http://www.scribendi.com/employment.en.html#remoteeditor is a fairly decent, if low-paying, place to find gigs (or at least was a couple of years ago). Totally agreeing that it's important not to cut out all the fun stuff. You and your bf both need to unwind and recharge. If you get the $8/month worth of enjoyment out of Netflix, cut back somewhere else maybe? Another thing that my husband and I did was to make a list of what was important to us and how much it cost, and then go through it and rank the items in order of priority.

You may be able to find some extra money in the food budget if you're willing to take on some good old fashioned meal planning. I don't coupon clip at all, but I do meal plan, which has meant a ton less wasted food. Like 15%-20% of our old grocery bill. And we're eating better. For me, at times when I was a stay-at-home mom or otherwise being supported/subsidized by a partner/spouse's income, that was how I made it make sense in my head: I have more time, so I can do cost-cutting things at home that I couldn't do when I was working. Cooking more meals, spending more time planning around grocery store sales, watching for bargains, etc. etc. etc. As runningwithscissors noted above, this doesn't mean you have to become Suzy Homemaker and take on *all* the housework (I didn't! I don't do dishes, for example, ever!), but grocery shopping and meal planning are one kind of housework that can have a visible impact on your budget. You can take it as a challenge, if that works for you - see if you can save enough on weekly groceries to pay for the massage/manicure/whatever little luxury you don't want to give up.