Too much anxiety, therapy isn't working, help?

oh and 3) Meditate daily. If possible the last thing before you go to bed and the first thing after you wake up. I've tried many guided meditations but have found http://www.withandrewjohnson.com/recordings/ very helpful.

Definitely get some sort of anti-anxiety drug from a doc or psych, and then start therapy again, but in the meantime please http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/123542.The_Anxiety_Phobia_Workbook and work through it. It was recommended to me by a psychiatrist and helped me a great deal. I think it would help you, too.

I apologize if any of this is projecting, since this is me to a tee. Here are things that have helped me... Work: "Time-boxed" work. Spending ten minutes (or whatever) working hard, and then taking as long as I need off. Playing music that makes me feel motivated. Exercise: Defining a sustainable (i.e., just barely above complete slacking) work out plan, and telling myself I'm not allowed to do more than that. If I don't do this, I get in a weird feedback loop where I keep setting the bar higher until the routine is not maintainable. Therapy: It is ok to have trouble with an individual therapist. If you think this can eventually be helpful, then by all means try again and identify your priorities in the first session with someone new. I have found that the most helpful exercise for my anxiety demons is writing down exactly what is giving me the pit-of-the-stomach despair feeling, and then figuring out what my options are for that exact moment, and then doing one of those things right then. About 90% of the time the best option is for me to go the fuck to sleep because it is 2AM. General: Give yourself permission to only focus on being successful or improving one thing at a time. If work is sucking your life away, then you of course get to order take out. You don't have to fix everything all at once; you only have to do one practical thing at a time to be making progress. Sometimes this one thing is just taking a break, and sometimes it is doing your work, etc. Asinine mantra: how do you eat an elephant Hope you feel better

Hmm. It sounds like your therapist was exploring the possibility that your work anxiety stems from the way you see yourself, which is also reflected in your social life. That doesn't mean this is the right therapist for you -- it should be somebody you're comfortable with -- but I also don't necessarily think the therapist was doing anything wrong. Therapists aren't ... like auto mechanics. You can't always say "here's what's broken; stick to that, please" and have them only touch the things you see a problem with, you know? I mean, you always have the right to direct that you won't discuss anything other than work, but I think that could hold you back. The fact that your anxiety manifests at work doesn't necessarily mean it's entirely about work. You also talk about cooking, exercise, non-work stuff. That's all coming from somewhere, and some therapists (like the one you had) tend to try to figure out where it's coming from. I guess I'm saying only this: Absolutely, find a therapist you like and feel comfortable with. But therapy isn't necessarily supposed to be confined to the questions you originally asked in the way that you originally asked them, and the fact that it exhausts you or frustrates you or it doesn't work out with this therapist doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong or that it isn't working. I think if you're looking for coping strategies, you need to make sure you look for a therapist who focuses on coping strategies -- you seem to have had one who was focused on trying to identify and address root causes, which is fine, but different. Wanting a different therapist doesn't make you, or therapy, or the therapist, a failure. It's about fit, I think. I think for anxious people, therapy can be really hard, because exploring root causes is upsetting, which in the short term just causes more anxiety. Keep at it; you're doing good things.

Whoa! Your anxiety reads loud and clear and it's taking you all over the map! "I feel like most of my worries are totally rational and normal but I just can't set them aside long enough to be super productive, and that's what I want to be able to do." Anxiety problems make it really hard to be a good judge of what is rational and normal worry. Sort of a cliche but: if it feels like anxiety, it's probably anxiety. Don't let the issues at hand disappear into a snowball of human failure. Your question hits about every topic that a person could possibly fail at: work, cooking, socializing, relationships, even fitness...dear god! Please see that all over these myriad "failures" are really about one thing: your anxiety. I'd also recommend you read a bit about http://www.counselingcenter.illinois.edu/?page_id=113. Others above have covered the therapy and medication angles. Before you can get to the therapist, there are also lots of great books on dealing with anxiety that have been recommended time and again on here. Good luck.

First therapist said drugs won't help me, but do I need to demand to try benzos for the short term until this is under control? I'd see an actual psychiatrist; a therapist probably can't prescribe anything anyway. Long-term, benzos are not a good solution for some people because of the possibility of dependence, but in my experience they have been very helpful in the short term. Anxiety is a physical thing, and you can learn to reduce it by controlling the physical symptoms, but you may need a shortcut until you can learn to do that. If you do not have a history of abusing alcohol or other drugs, I would consider asking for medication. Also find another therapist and be assertive with him or her. "I'm not here to talk about my social life, my immediate problem is work performance."

Finding a new therapist and maybe some meds will help you, but I am also going to suggest another point of view about your anxiety. It seems to me that you are afraid of underperforming, underachieving in every respect, from work (the biggie) to not even exercising enough. I think the root of the problem is you are afraid of a uniquely American fear—being a Loser and failing. Of course, you are not, but there is an underlying premise here of you not measuring up to your superstar peers and keeping up with the culture of believing that Achievements = Success = Self Worth = Happiness. I disagree with the therapist that said that deep down you were telling yourself you sucked. In fact, I believe you believe the opposite about yourself, that you know you are smart, capable, and all around a pretty cool person. The disconnect and reason you may be feeling so much anxiety here is that you feel the need to prove it, as if Just Being You Is Good Enough (to society) is separate from the You That Needs To Prove Yourself Worthy To Others (even though you know you don’t suck). Are you a perfectionist by any chance? You sound like you are. Remind yourself that one view of success is about persistence, not about perfection, in which failing at things is not only okay, but encouraged. Really. Mind the J.K. Rowling quote, “It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all - in which case, you fail by default.” Pick a high percentage, say 80-90% (or higher if you must), and remind yourself that if you get that much completed in a specific project/task, then it’s already a success (this doesn’t work well for non-perfectionists). Because that way you feel more relaxed and you’re not going to sabotage yourself into an all-or-nothing mode of thinking, because, the All Mode is not realistic, and it’s better to do something while at work 90% than ignore it out of fear and not doing it all. Look up all those quotes about Failure and Persistence as being both integral to Success. Then with your next therapist examine why you constantly compare yourself to your superstar friends instead of following your own path and doing what is right for you.

I have a tendency to quit things that make me feel bad rather than stick them out, so I can have down time to feel calm again, even if I know I shouldn't quit for some good reason. You're allowed to quit something because it's making you physically ill. You're allowed to take time out to recover and work out a new plan. Or to develop a plan now to change from what you're doing to something else. None of this means you're a failure. I keep having conversations with people who are having breakdowns all the time because they won't quit their job that's making them sick and find a new one. Umm, hey, you have one life here. And you won't quit because it will make you look like a quitter? So you're prepared to keep making yourself sick because other people might look down on you - umm... I'm not saying you should quit, I'm just saying that evaluating why you're holding onto things is an important part of getting better - are you doing whatever you're doing for you? If you don't really want it, is there something else you really want to be doing? I think a work project is going poorly because I'm getting stuck and making mistakes, so I ignore it until my boss demands to see progress, even if I liked the project for its own sake at the start. If you do see a therapist - mention to them that you're a perfectionist who procrastinates and avoids things. This is extremely common. I am terrified that my career is going to stall or even worse that I will get fired, that I'm not good enough to stay in my field and I'll need to find a whole new less ambitious line of work, but that will be "settling" and will also make me miserable. If any of that happens, none of it will be the end of the world. I am a decent cook but constantly feeling guilty about how much I eat out because I'm stressed and busy and just want someone else to worry about the food preparation. Same with exercise; I bike and jog short distances inconsistently but its not enough and I feel bad occasionally that I'm still unfit, and I know exercise would help. You have to eat out because you don't have time and you're stressed. You don't have time to exercise more (and stress generally makes people not want to work out). So, you're dealing with a situational problem, not a deep, personal failing. So I need therapy, obviously. Not necessarily - it doesn't work for everyone. This made me feel like even more of a failure than when I started therapy, so I quit (see problem with quitting previously mentioned). You're allowed to quit therapy if it isn't working for you. I quit a therapist who did CBT because I found it too rigid - my problem didn't really fit with the exercises she wanted me to do. Apparently I misled her or something, or I was doing therapy "wrong." Nope, you can't do therapy wrong. You didn't mislead her. You weren't doing therapy wrong. It was a poor match between therapist and client. It just didn't work for you. I feel like most of my worries are totally rational and normal but I just can't set them aside long enough to be super productive, and that's what I want to be able to do. Yep they are. It's just that the anxiety has made them super big and all of your energy is spent fighting things that your anxiety has created for you (that bastard!). Things you can do without a therapist - externalise your problem (anxiety) by depersonalising it. It's this thing that has set up shop inside you, it's not paying rent, you have to evict it. It's not really a part of you, you didn't create it or make it, it's just this thing you have to kick out. All of this is just about self talk. Swear at it, mentally beat the crap out of it (this is what your anxiety is doing to you, you know). Benzos I wouldn't really recommend because they will make you feel good but they're a short term thing and they don't really reconfigure anything and they're highly addictive. If exercise is a problem for you at the moment (it sounds like it is) don't beat yourself up about not doing it. Don't feed the beast here. Yoga helps, meditations helps, walking in nature helps (anything to do with nature helps - water in particular). Changing your self talk is key. If the therapist is unhelpful - you don't feel like this is the best possible way to spend your time, then you shouldn't go. Look at your life and see what you're happy with and what you're not happy with (outside of the anxiety) - what do you need to actively change?

Um, when was the last time you had a full blood work-up? I ask because a whole host of physical ailments (thyroid issues, vitamin deficiencies including anemia) WILL cause emotional and physical anxiety. No amount of therapy, benzos or celexa or the like will help if the underlying cause is, say, simple iron deficiency. Ditto if you take hormonal birth control, and that is the root of what is effecting you adversely. (I look back on my 20's when I took bc AND was frequently denied the opportunity to donate blood at blood drives because I was slightly anemic... I sorta wonder how life would felt day-to-day if I had just taken a few extra supplements and dropped hormonal bc or switched brands, or whatever... But I'm here now to tell you that you should look at these common-yet-often-ignored contributing factors to anxiety, in the hopes checking that into these issues might shorten your path to serenity!)