I keep getting rejected or ignored and want to quit trying to date

But now I'm questioning that because it seems women really pick apart every word in a guys lines and it needs to be crafted in a bullet proof fashion, it cant be its too much of this and too little of that. Don't use lines. Make conversation. Your words aren't some magical number-getting lure, they're a representation of you as a human being. How do you talk to men -- or how do you want men to talk to you? Talk to women EXACTLY LIKE THAT. Some of the "lines" that people I've dated have opened conversations with me with include: * "God, I fucking hate Republicans." * "You know, I love this song, but for the longest time I had Billy Idol and Billy Joel confused, and I just couldn't figure out why this guy could play piano so well and yet chose to play guitar so badly." * "Hey! You! Can you settle a dispute for us? Is white chocolate more evil than dark chocolate, or the other way around?" * "Dammit. Do you have an icosahedral die I can borrow?" (I married this one!) * "I have that exact same skirt!" * "Can anyone here help me debug this perl script?" In other words, they weren't "finely crafted, bulletproof lines." They were conversations. They didn't approach me as a date, they approached me as a person.

Maybe take a look at the http://www.gottmanblog.com/ blog. They do actual research on relationships. Focus on long term solidity instead of just "getting dates" and finding a girlfriend. Prepare yourself instead with the skills you need to build a solid relationship. Thinking back on your shot gun approach to messaging women, I want to add that knowing what you want and deciding what is (or might be) compatible for you is a better place to start than trying to get a date. Questions you might ask yourself:What does a successful relationship look like to you?equitable sharing of chores? lots of hot sex?fun dates? What kind of home do you want? House? Apartment? Lavish? Yard? Pets? Meals? What kind of social life do you want? What kind of partner do you want? An attractive trophy who might not be very bright? A brilliant career woman? An intellectual heavy weight to discuss philosophical problems? Someone in finance who can relate to the stress of your job? A stay at home mother for your kids? (how many kids)An artist?What are the foundations of a healthy relationship? another spoiler, research shows it's these three:trustrespectfriendshipOn preview: that comment about Hillary possibly having "a shaft" is incredibly sexist and funny because it says "a powerful and brave woman cannot actually be a woman. Must actually be a man." If this makes you genuinely laugh, please investigate the ways you feel about women. Because that sentiment that smart, aggressive women are someone "not really women" is...not attractive. Man, on another preview:But I don't use linesThis is absolutely not true. That these phrases "just popped into your head" indicates that they are lines. You did not use a shred of energy to create them. They appeared from cliche and attached themselves to the profiles of seven women. Not a single thing in their profiles inspired you enough to create something. The fact that they are about appearances guaranteed that they are lines. Again, nothing about the women, just about their looks. Would you ever try to make male friends by saying "you look so buff/handsome/great hair?" I would bet a dollar that you wouldn't. If you have a tendency to use the same tactic with every woman, it might be a good idea to consider that variety might be the answer. Women are not a monolith. And yet we hear these lines all the time. They are lines. Trust me. And yes. You absolutely do have to try harder. A guy who is coasting through the early stages of a relationship is probably going to coast through all the other parts of a relationship. While this is not 100% true, it's true enough that avoiding the signs of it is worthwhile.

Why are hiking, camping or shooting solitary activities? No, seriously. I find these things are all much more fun with other people. Furthermore, they can help you meet more people! Have you tried joining a meetup? And going regularly even though the first two or three times you didn't really enjoy all the people who showed up? Because sometimes usually there is a person who only makes it out once a month, or some of the people take a while to warm up. Or one of the guys has a cousin who lives a little too far away to come to the meetup regularly, but he'd introduce you if you are a classy guy. As for the initial contact, if a guy touches me before I've given any solid signals of interest, that is an absolute dealbreaker. Doubly Infinitely more so if this is coupled with comments about my strength/ability to care for myself. Maybe she is an expert shot? A sniper? A black belt in karate? Maybe her family has lived in that neighborhood for a hundred years and why should she think it's sketchy, she sold her girl scout cookies at every door. If you insulted my neighborhood it wouldn't be an instant deal breaker, but it would not win you any points. The messages you have listed here are so much like every other message I get, that I would just flip past them and not even read your profile. Making jokes about things I don't like is a no-go, focusing on an image of me rather than the content of my profile (what I like, what I say I am looking for...but then, I'm not the type to put a picture of myself up in a costume), telling me that I seem "sweet" or any other traditionally female, limiting descriptor. I am generous and patient and kindhearted and courageous and fairly smart. But I would absolutely not describe myself as sweet, and following that up by one short question about philosophy doesn't lessen the triteness of sweet. Further, telling me you "have to talk to me" is more...possessive than I'm willing to tolerate. On preview:I also addressed the whole being interested in my life part and I understand where people are coming from on that but after a while it gets old. I can tell when I'm on a date with a guy who isn't actually interested in his own life. One of the big clues is that he's not actually interested in my life. He's interested in where the next joke will fit in, how he can make an excuse to touch me, and saying whatever comes to mind without editing. And this comment:I sent these seven women this message "Hey you have a great smile, now I have to talk to you some more?"And somehow they could tell that you had sent that other message to [some number] of other women. How could they tell? They got six very similar messages from other guys today and half again as many from guys saying "hey. Hey! I messaged you like three days ago and haven't heard back. Why don't you respond? I'm a perfectly nice guy and you're missing out! Fine, be that way you stupid [expletive]" Not even kidding. The guys who send messages that show an appreciation of us as people, rather than as owners of cute smiles are more likely to get responses. Taking a shotgun approach marks you as at least one of the following:lazycreepyimpatientuninterested in me as a personCombining that with something about how you "have to" talk to us makes it an instant delete. And you want to know why I'm looking at the profile of a guy who sends me such a message? To see if there are any clues in your profile about that behavior so I have an idea of what to avoid in the rare instance I am initiating conversation.

But now I'm questioning that because it seems women really pick apart every word in a guys lines and it needs to be crafted in a bullet proof fashion, it cant be its too much of this and too little of that. No, no lines, no crafting, no strategies. When a dude thinks this way, it is painfully obvious. I don't often say things like "you know what women want?" but, you know what women want? To be engaged in conversation like a normal human being. You're not programming a computer with strict syntax for input. You are talking to a person. There shouldn't be any rehearsal for this, and if there is, it is seriously holding you back. Lines get picked apart because they are lines and inherently disingenuous and trying to hide an agenda. Your problem isn't that your lines aren't good enough, it is the you're relying on them at all.

You're getting lots of good replies about your attitude towards women, and I want to make a slightly different observation. You talk about needing to be more fit or to make more money or to be better at pick-up-lines or a different race in order to attract women. But you simultaneously express contempt for women for whom those would be deciding factors. Ultimately, in a lover or a partner, you want someone who wants you for what you want to be wanted for. This is a major reason your "oh you're so cute" lines are not working -- even if we believe them, people don't want to be wanted for our looks. You don't seem to want to be wanted for your superficial qualities, either. So think hard about what you want to be wanted for. What do you want people to find fuckable about you? What do you want them to find lovable about you? What do you want them to perceive such that they will want a long term relationship with you? This isn't just the "self-esteem and confidence" advice, though that advice is good. It's actually sort of the "how to stay motivated" advice you initially asked for. I think that once you realize that you don't want to be wanted for your ability to pick up "8's" at the local bar, you'll stop wasting your energy on that. As has been mentioned above, getting away from bar culture will be good for you. On-line dating may be a numbers game, but I think most dating is not. Many of us have never really dated at all. Once you stop exhausting yourself with numbers, you will have more energy to take advantage of serendipitous connection with someone who values you for what you want to be valued for. And finally. . . if you want an outdoorsy partner, why are you looking for her in bars? Why aren't you looking for her in outing clubs? Why are you setting yourself up to fail?

Don't try to be interesting, be interested. Pick something and become super interested in it. Not "I have to share my knowledge of this with other people" interested, but "I want to absorb everything I can" interested. It helps, of course, if this is social. Trail building, Habitat for Humanity, that sort of thing come immediately to mind, but I hesitate to even mention those because that's kind of limiting. For me, becoming a professional whitewater guide helped my confidence a hell of a lot. Maybe it's local politics. Maybe it's cycling. I offer up those examples because they're being interested in something that others are likely to be interested in, but it goes further than that. I have a friend who's now pushing the top edge of middle-age. He's balding, has a paunch. Hasn't always been that way, but for as long as I've known him he's been unable to walk out of a restaurant without some cute young waitress chasing him out with her phone number on a napkin. Literally. Why? Because when he looks at a woman and asks a question as mundane as "what are you studying?", he completely cares. Every ounce of his attention hangs on that answer, and he is fascinated by the fact that she's a second year psych major. Or whatever. And then, yeah, he's interested in a lot of things, so there's always something in common to talk about: from literature to poetry to ping pong. Be interested, don't try to be interesting.

For example I approached a woman in a bar who looked like kate middleton and I walked over to her and said "I'm sure you get this alot but you look like someone really famous, like kate middleton" and she started laughing. I then asked her the basics and made intersting talk and she said she lived in harlem and I said thats a sketchy part of town or it can be. And I just touched her arm a bit and said, you've got some small guns lady its not gonna cut it if you're gonna keep living there and she just gave me this really flirty look right into my eyes and smiled. I then said let me buy you a drink and I bought on for her, my friends were leaving so I got her number and siad Id call her. I'm hesitant to say this because I was there and didn't see how it went off, so maybe this isn't the problem and it wouldn't be good to swing the pendulum back too far in the other direction. But your description of how you approached this woman sounds like a bit too much, and a bit overbearing. It sounds almost like powering through a list of "steps:" 1. Opening line 2. Ask basics 3. Touch her 4. Buy drink 5. Get number. It doesn't really sound like a give and take at all, it sounds like you were really propelling it towards the goal of getting her number is what I'm saying.

Also no I dont have to date white women, I dont prefer one race over another to a very large degree, its just white women attract me more but that doesnt mean all white women. There are some indian women that I find way more attractive than white women. And yes how can I be a hypocrite and not message other races and complain about white women not responding to me. So I am fair and send messages to all races Here's a bit of advice from an Indian woman: I have dated Indian men who clearly, obviously, preferred white women, but were willing to (temporarily) settle for me because, well, they couldn't get a (conventionally attractive) white woman. They didn't have to say it out loud-- when you can't keep your eyes off the blonde on the other side of the room, other women notice that. And when you talk about white women like they are some kind of prize, but you clearly don't value women of your own race as much, that gets noticed, too. No one wants to feel like they are second best or being settled for. When I get that vibe from a guy, I run in the opposite direction.

Also, every time you reach a conclusion the begins with "it seems that women..." stop yourself and try to figure out why you're generalizing across a gender, why you are wrong (and you are wrong, otherwise you'd be more succesful at this) and how to change your preconceptions to match what is actually going on.