Should we take our toddler to Kenya, if not, where?

My situation is a bit different, as both of my kids are from Ethiopia (we're American and we adopted them). Having said that, I did take one of my sons back to Ethiopia for ten days when he was about 3. We had a fantastic trip! We spent a bit of time in the city but were mostly in smaller towns, and we saw some really cool stuff. We went at a slower pace than I would as an adult by myself, but that was really fine, actually. It was a more reasonable speed anyway. The only thing that was rough was when we went on a hike to the Blue Nile Falls, and he couldn't keep up, and I had to carry him, and that was pretty awful as I wasn't prepared with a carrier (which I would have been if he was younger). For you, I'd suggest thinking about these issues: how is your daughter when she's off her routine? Will she sleep in a carrier on a parent's back? Is she fussy about new foods? Does she sleep okay in new places, especially if she's cuddled with her parents? The fact that you are an experienced traveler who is used to traveling in less developed countries is pretty key here, as it sounds like you'll be able to roll with the punches. I think taking her on this kind of trip might help her learn to do the same! My son and I weren't dealing with jet lag, as we were coming from Egypt when we went to Ethiopia, but I'd suggest your partner and daughter arrive a few days early so they can adjust to the time change in the comfort of a hotel (or wherever you'll be staying). Also, perhaps you could line up a short-term nanny to help you out when your partner and daughter arrive, so your partner can nap and someone else can help out. I'd also suggest you all go on a few camping trips soon, if you haven't recently, to see how she does. I would not go to Abu Dubai or anywhere else in the Middle East or North Africa, as it will be so hot you won't feel very adventurous. I can't speak specifically for Kenya, but Ethiopia has lovely weather in June, so I'm guessing Kenya is somewhat similar. A trip I would love to take is to Tanzania, for a safari and then to Zanzibar. It'd be a beach-ish vacation, but not necessarily in a resort sort of way. Some friends of mine took their young daughters there recently and had a great trip. One last option to consider might be South Africa. It's not really on my list, but I know folks who have had great vacations there, including safaris, but it's also wealthier and more developed, so perhaps it'd be easier with a little one. Good luck! This sounds like a wonderful adventure. (And one last note: there were plenty of folks who thought we were crazy to move to Egypt with two young kids, and plenty of people who thought I was crazy to travel to Ethiopia with a 3 year old. We had great experiences in both places, and I'm really glad I didn't listen to the naysayers.)

Oh, this is hard. My first inclination would be to take them - of course! It's a great experience! But. Can either you or your partner take at least a week off work after you get home, to deal with your daughter's jet lag? My daughter was Seriously Not Right for a week after we flew long haul, and there was much time spent playing! and wanting to go to the playground! at 2am in the week afterward. If this is something you can handle, then I would consider Kenya or possibly Madagascar. Other, shorter-haul options would be Christmas Island or Brunei/ Borneo. Your daughter (and your partner and yourself) will need malaria shots for Madagascar or Borneo but not for Christmas Island. Or - have you spent much time in WA or NT? Could you meet your partner and daughter in Perth or Darwin and go hang out in, say, Margaret River or Kakadu for a few days? Far shorter flights, but still far enough away and, in the case of Kakadu, probably similarly exotic.

A lot of our friends live every day in Kenya with their toddlers and so that's how we holiday for the long weekends, with the toddlers. WE all usually go to the beach because hey, we're living in Kenya, which is great. We rent a house, and you can have local girls come and watch the kids for about 10USD a day. I would assume you'd get the same kind of kid help if going on safari / camping, but probably pay a bit more. That will also of course depend on what level of places you're staying at. We all don't do the safari thing together often, its more for when parents / friends / other family come into town for a visit. A toddler of course isn't going to appreciate the wildlife of safari the way you guys will, and you should remember that the ideal safari schedule (up and out by 6am to see the animals whilst they're still active, back from 10am-4pm, out again for an evening drive til 7pm or so) isn't necessarily going to play nicely with your kid's sleep schedule. Basically, I'd say if there's any chance you could do this trip again in a few years for a similar cost, your kid will appreciate it a lot more. You might as well. But if that's a slim chance, well how often in your life are you going to have a paid round trip ticket to Kenya? Probably not that often. Its a beautiful place, I would say go for it, take advantage of everything. Even the delightful beaches you'll be avoiding :) Feel free to me-mail me if you'd like my locals-guide to Kenya. I've probably typed most of it out on AskMes in the past already though.

Thanks, all, still not sure what we'll end up doing, but seems we're not completely insane (yet), at any rate!

Anecdata: My friend went on a safari with her parents when she was maybe 5 years old, so older than your daughter. She spent the whole time screaming, "OMG giraffe!" "OMG a lion!" It freaked out the animals and the guide nervously had one hand on his gun the whole time. Also, years ago, my cousin received the opportunity to teach a class for a month in southern Israel so she took her two kids and husband. Hamas was launching rockets pretty aggressively soon after they arrived and Israel prepared to respond with force. The kids remember thinking it was awesome that the bomb shelter had a TV. But if you ask the youngest about Israel, she makes air raid siren noises.

Oh, and think about food and diapering logistics. Right now, your kids is probably still eating baby food to some degree. But at age 20 months, they're eating a lot more people food. But they're PICKY too. So how are you planning on feeding baby on this trip? And diapers - bringing enough is a huge PITA. You'd be better off buying diapers when you're there. Can you do that easily?

One thing to think about is that you're making assumptions about your child's behavior and temperament NOW rather than when she is 20 months old. We booked a trip to Oz when our child was a few months old and went when he was ~9 months old. The flight (LAX-Sydney) was nothing like what we imagined. It wasn't so bad that I remember something specific happening, but... We also did LAX-Singapore, then Bali when he was ~19 months old. Again, we made assumptions that didn't hold up. My kid wasn't old enough to really enjoy anything about that trip for more than a split second - even the aquarium - yet we were somewhat bound to do kid-friendly things, eat at kid-friendly places. My concern is that this is a LONG trip for you all. Also, your experience as vacationing couple will be different from your vacation as a family. With that said, DO IT!

I can't speak to the specifics of holidaying in Kenya with a toddler. I'll assume you can figure out the levels of medical and political risk involved and make your decisions about those. The biggest change that I've seen in the holiday plans that we as a family make and that other parents of young children make has to do with how much you try to pack in to a single day. We routinely assume that getting out the door will take us two or three times as long as it would pre-parenting. We have learned to be willing to abandon an experience that we had thought would be fun for everyone. Generally speaking, I don't think you should assume that your daughter will be miserable doing the things that you would like to do. Until you're dealing with a teenager, enthusiasm tends to be pretty contagious. :) What you do need to do is be flexible about your plans, and make some modifications based on what you already know about your daughter. Try to keep some routines in place, try to take along some familiar things. Be willing to take breaks more frequently than you would if you were on your own. For the plane ride(s) specifically, no it's not insane. South Asian (and I'm sure other) mothers routinely fly their little ones back and forth between North America and South Asia, and they all seem to survive just fine. Build in some recovery time at the end of the flight. It sounds like your partner will be on her own for at least one leg of the trip. Be prepared to take over from her at the other end. Make sure you have a variety of activities for your daughter. Keep at least one completely new toy for each flight leg. Don't forget her comfort object(s). Realistically, a two-year old is not going to remember much, if anything, of this trip. She most likely will love seeing the pictures when she's a little bit older. In summary: Go for it. Feel free to memail if you have more specific questions.

I can't speak to the aspects of travel to actually get there, but my parents loved traveling around with my sister when she was a toddler- why? They actually got to eat their own meals! In very family focused places, everybody just wanted to hold her and play with her and it was like having traveling baby sitter for her.