How can I fight isolation and help a Sighted spouse understand what I go through as a Blind person?

One of the most valued lessons I learned from my late mother is that idiosyncrasies are what make us special. She was English, so she came from a culture which placed greater value on eccentricity than the environment I grew up in (very much John Hughes' 80s, which lauded conformity & wealth over individuality & creativity). I didn't fit in - and in some ways she didn't fit in either (her accent, her dress sense, her humor, her social reticence - all of these things stuck out like sore thumbs in suburban America) - and she taught me to value the things which essentially made me "weird" as the things which made me special and lovable. That lesson saw me through some very difficult periods (middle school comes to mind) when my self-esteem was tested. Knowing my mother valued my "weirdness" and respected my nonconformity gave me the strength I needed to just keep going my own way when peer pressure raised its ugly head - repeatedly and forcefully. At the age of 5, I think the timing of this lesson is perfectly appropriate, and an excellent way to bond with your son and communicate to him that difference is what makes the world the wonderful place it is - including what makes you different, and what makes him different. I hope this helps.

So, I don't think this question really has anything to do with Bronies or swimming goggles, as well meaning as those answers are. I think the real question is about how you interact with your wife and the rest of the world. We all have challenges and differences. We all have to force ourselves to do things we might not otherwise want to do, especially as parents. Sometimes you find a way to make those things less problematic (goggles) and sometimes we just have to grit our teeth and bear it. We also all have occasional problems with how our hopes and plans intersect with our family. I've had all kinds of great ideas that my spouse has shot down. Sometimes for perfectly valid reasons that I have overlooked, and other times for reasons I don't agree with at all. In those cases, I either decide to drop it in the name of familial harmony, or I put my foot down a bit and explain to my wife why I think it would be a good idea anyway (Bronies) and I go through with it. Unfortunately, I'm not sure I have any easy or simple solutions for you. I think step one would be to consider your problems of loneliness and awkwardness as separate from your physical impairments. You parenting struggles are not inherently linked to your impairments either. These are feelings that people of all ability levels deal with, and you can deal with them too. If medication will not work for you, maybe you need to look at other (or additional) therapy modalities to really address your struggles. Maybe even some form of couples therapy? That leads into my next point, which is to really work on constructive, honest communication with your spouse. Make sure she understands your feelings and your needs, and that you aren't just bottling them up and internalizing them. She doesn't have to agree with you every time, but it is important to the health of your marriage that she takes your desires seriously. Good luck.

"I don't want our son getting picked on for liking My Little Pony." My spouse tells me I should be proud of being different as it is different people who make the real differences in this world. Not that people usually respond with enthusiasm and a rapid self-check when being accused of hypocrisy, but I wonder if there isn't a kind way to bring her around to the realisation that these are somewhat contradictory sentiments. (Also wondering if swim goggles wouldn't be a big help?) So much of parenting is simply being there. My father is a non-swimmer; I grew up pretty much the opposite of 'non-swimmer,' and only now reading this did I consider that he never got into the water with me. Certainly he was willing to hang out on the dock while I paddled about at the cottage, and diligent and entirely uncomplaining about driving me to and from a decade of frequent swimming lessons. I am just recovering from having spent the last two-odd years hobbled by bum hips which left me very limited in what activities I could do with my nearing-5-yo. Don't feel guilt over physical limitations. Children are very adaptable and very in tune to when one is doing one's best and when one is there (as opposed to checked out on a mobile phone, say). Does your wife realise what the current incarnation of "MLP" is like? Check out the to-be-released https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=381668998517210&set=a.134316363252476.23944.118429394841173&type=1&theater &c; it's not all pink and lollipops anymore.

Mmmph. At the risk of being thought callous, I think you are blowing your spouse's negative reasoning out of proportion. This was just an opportunity, not a sure thing. You asked her to try for the opportunity and she disagreed that it would be good for the kid (for whatever reason - and I think just not wanting the kid on TV is valid). So you got shot down. But it was never a sure thing, and chances are good you would not have matched what the producer(s) had in mind. What was your plan for that stage of rejection? It's like your wife vetoed buying a lottery ticket and you're wrapped up in the new house you thought you'd buy with the winnings. I suspect if you had other opportunities in which to invest your parental/social energies, this would not be a big deal at all. You just got emotionally attached to this anticipated Bonding Experience. You really wanted it. More than your kid, maybe. And you didn't have a backup plan. So now you're crashing and taking it very personally, and it's triggering other anxieties like dominoes. It seems bigger than it is. You aren't upset about being denied the opportunity by your wife - that's a front - you are deeply upset at the unfairness of your medical situation which limits your interactions with your kid (and makes normal social stuff difficult). Totally reasonable, to be frustrated about that. This is a wakeup call to really work at satisfying your emotional needs. You are clearly starving for true connection - so much so that you are upset when the people closest to you seem to thwart your attempts to feed that need. I'd talk to your kid and brainstorm things to do together. Go for fun and quantity. Chances are, being filmed for a documentary would not have been much kid-fun for a five year old. Forget bullying, his future teenage self may be rather disgusted at the thought of going on camera as a MLP fan. Your relationship needs to be based in more than fickle pop culture to weather adolescence.

I understand that you're feeling hurt, but I think you may have done what my girlfriend and I call "taking the express train." That is, your spouse said that she was worried that your son might get picked on for liking MLP, and you went straight to "MLP is not an acceptable thing to like." But you skipped a lot of stops there. First off, your son may well get picked on for liking MLP. This is a totally valid concern. But the reason for this is not that there's something intrinsically wrong with liking MLP, or with dudes liking it. It's because your son is 5 and 5-year-olds can be little shits about anything even slightly different from them. Many schools, right up until college, are conformity hells, and I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with keeping your head down and getting through it. But you, on the other hand, are a grown ass man. You can watch whatever you want, and nobody actually told you otherwise - the express train just took you to a place where people were saying that. If you find that you're often reading bad things into other people's comments, that's something to discuss with your therapist.

....You said your question was about "how do I find something to do to bond with my son/reach out to the world and feel less isolated" but you did find something. Yes, I know your wife didn't like that idea, but -- does she understand why you did want to do the video with your son? Rather than giving up on what sounds like a perfect idea (and I strongly disagree with your wife about the dangers of your son getting picked on), can you try to defend it to her? Does she know how deprived you're feeling? Does she understand what you and your son feel about being "Bronies"? Hell, does she KNOW about Bronies? You had a great idea for how to get out of your isolation, don't give up on it. Friendship is magic, but so is individuality. Go fight for it!

I agree with EmpressCallipygos - try to put more thought and discussion to your spouse to give her more of seeing your side of it. Bonding - there are a lot of non-outdoor sporting activities you can share with your son. I did a quick search and turned up information about YMCA in your area; looks like they have an indoor pool. Your son can take swimming lessons, you can lounge in the pool and play with him before and after, you guys can join the 50-mile swim club. I understand the concern about your eye and vision, but would goggles in this indoor pool and swimming with your head above water help? Additionally, though I have both eyes, one of my kiddos had vision problems and therapy for a while. We do simple games like bouncing a ball to one another along a line (the line gives your child something to "aim" for and you something to "aim" for in catching it) to each other. We also play "the money game" where a quarter is placed on the floor between you and you try to score a point by hitting the quarter. You develop his sporting skills and "play catch" in a way that works for you guys. Good luck. Idiosyncratic differences may make us special, but they sure don't feel it sometimes, especially on a day to day "mundane" basis. I know it's not MeTa but *hugs*

However, why does being different have to always feel so lonely and unwelcome? Isn't that inherent to the condition? If everyone was like you, then you would be surrounded by more people like you, and thus less lonely. I'm proud of my creativity, but is it good for anything beyond finding escapes from the reality in which I always seem to have off-and-on battles with? Why yes! Is it possible that you can find an outlet for your creativity that's something other than watching cartoons with your son? This might be an opportunity to join a community artmaking class or make trips to a ceramics-making studio, or something like that.

Why can't you still make the video, but not to submit to the website or youtube, but for yourself and for your son now and in the future (isn't that bonding?) "...I finally felt I had found a way to put myself out there while speaking positively of a show that represents the sort of work I like to do as an aspiring children's book writer.... I'm proud of my creativity, but is it good for anything beyond finding escapes from the reality in which I always seem to have off-and-on battles with?" (Re:creativity) If your son is 5, then this won't be an escape but an entry into a world of fun and magic. I'm not sure how serious you are about being an "aspiring writer," but why not start there? Write a few short stories for children, perhaps with a father and son character, or with whatever else that you want to deal with or not deal with (a character that is dealing with visual impairment...or a character who can see magic or things that no else can see...whatever you want, these are your worlds). Even if it is never published, wouldn't those be fun memories for your child in the future? Stories that you developed together?