How can a mid-thirties woman in NYC meet single men?

http://ask.metafilter.com/214072/How-can-a-midthirties-woman-in-NYC-meet-single-men: " I've actually met men when I've sat at a bar by myself waiting for a friend to arrive, but I'm not sure how to do that on a regular basis" You could arrange to meet friends in bars on a regular basis and then show up early for those meetings.

Honestly, I feel like most meetups, classes, and volunteering opportunities are great ways to meet... other single women. I tell all my bachelor guy friends to do those things (especially volunteering with kids), because I regularly pursue hobbies that involve those scenarios and I'm *always* surrounded by about 12 single cute women in their thirties and one guy who's figured out that he has some pretty spectacular odds. I never recommend those activities to single women who are mainly interested in meeting men because men do not regularly put themselves out there in such wholesome scenarios. Surely some guy will pop up in this thread to prove me wrong, but check out the meetups for yourself - unless you're going to some vastly different gatherings than I am, you're likely to find a bunch of ladies just like you. THAT SAID, I met my husband at a Metafilter meetup. I think it helped that Metafilter still skews fairly male, plus the meetups usually occur at a bar, which was where we met. The Metafilter angle was significant, but it really wasn't that different from meeting an acquaintance of mutual friends at a bar. So if you want to use the "shared interests" route, maybe pick something that is also popular with men, like rock climbing, beer tastings, kickball, poker/card games, comedy nights (my friend does ahttp://crappycinemacouncil.com/post/13808513093/council-assemble-its-time-for-a-holiday-themed in Williamsburg), and weird lectures (my other friends does http://hellomsg.tumblr.com/where-and-when as well), etc. So, don't discount bars and activities that happen at bars. A pretty woman reading a book at a bar is, whether you want it to be or not, often read as an open invitation for interested guys to ask you about the book. Once you meet someone cool and then decide you just want to read a damn book at a damn bar without starting a damn conversation this fact will get old, but for now, use it to your advantage. I also second the gym. My weightlifting gym skew heavily towards men (fit men, too!) who would be hugely impressed with a woman who's not afraid to get into a squat rack. CrossFit classes are also quite popular these days and foster a tight sense of camaraderie among teams.

A pretty woman reading a book at a bar is, whether you want it to be or not, often read as an open invitation for interested guys to ask you about the book. Yep. I've talked to a bunch of guys this way (only one turned into a date though. That might just be me). Not that you should select books for guy-meeting purposes but David Foster Wallace and Bret Easton Ellis invited the most conversation for me. Also single, mid thirties woman. Whee.

Meetup.com is great. You don't have to be into hiking or sports -- I found that dining meetups were a good way to meet people. You'll find all kinds of dinner groups -- ethnic food, fancy dining, cheap eats, vegetarian, etc. I think the key with all these kinds of activities though is to go without any great expectations of finding a partner, as that can often lead to frustration. If you just go along and have a good time, things often happen when you are least expecting it...

I'm 20 but my aunt is around your age and she's had a good experience with joining a health club and dating guys in their 40s.

I'm also dying to find out the answer. But I've met many great people through New York Cares. (volunteering). So, if you just want to meet new people to expand your horizons (and potentially expand your dating circle), then try it out!

I have a divorced friend who met his partner at yoga class in Manhattan,

Free on Monday night? There are likely to be single men in your age range at http://eany.convio.net/site/Calendar?view=Detail&id=100181. The great thing about NYC is all the great events we've got going on. Look for these. Chat folks up. Be interested and interesting. And good luck.

I know you said you aren't interested in the types of activities that meetup groups offer but try a few anyway. The reality is that a lot of people who go to things like hiking and sports meetup groups are there because they want to meet people and not because they are hardcore hikers or whatever. Sit in a coffeeshop and read your book but bring with you a conspicuous object/article of clothing that invites questions. Sit at the bar alone. I know it is intimidating but it is far easier for guys to approach you that way than if you are with a group of 4 girlfriends. Also don't give up on the online thing. ..it is very hit or miss but the hits can be really fun. Just don't put all your emphasis on that avenue.