Why don't you get a job?

It's sounding increasingly like you're struggling with issues around self-worth and depression (incredibly common among those who are job hunting!) but you really need to re-think some of your beliefs:that being let go is a stain on your permanent record. You list "laid off" on your resume, and move on. Trust me, it won't merit another look.that people seeing your resume on LinkedIn or Indeed is humiliating? Why? What is driving that idea? The entire point of those sites is to be seen. LI in particular has groups associated with virtually every industry where you can find job postings, network, and reach out for informational interviews. Have you joined those? Are you looking there?that you can't dumb down your resume because people will Google you. Unless they are *explicitly* asking you to list every single job you've had, the idea is that a resume communicates the relevant business experience for that job. Someone with a MA could totally leave it off because it's not relevant to the job (and might get them pegged as overqualified.) Sure, some employers might google you, but plenty won't - and so what if someone says, "Whoa, you didn't say you did X on the Internet?" You shrug and say, "Well, I didn't think it was relevant, so I left it off."that temp agencies "get back to you." They have tremendously high turnover, so here is what you have to do. Go in person, have the chat, get the card of whatever reps you talk with. Then you call them twice a week, telling them you're checking in, you wanted to see what work they have for you. If and when they leave, you find out the name of whoever replaces them, talk to them, rinse lather and repeat. You need to make yourself known to them, as many of them as possible, so when the right job comes in, you are the first person they call.that you're not qualified for anything. I don't know what it is you do freelance, but being a successful freelancer in any field is tough, and high marks to you for that. The challenge is, as people have said, identifying those transferable skills - and I'm quite positive you have some. The problem is, you need to believe that before any of this can work.I'm not talking from a high horse. I was under-employed for several years following the dot.com crash, and a big part of my problem (with a lot of hindsight of course) is that I didn't know what I wanted to do, just what I didn't, and nobody wants to hire someone who can't figure out how to show off what they can do. Once I figured out what I did want to do (or at least what transferable skills I had that I could build on to move me in that direction) it started falling into place. You're in a hard, hard place. Reach out to friends, fellow freelancers, heck, posting here was a great step, and maybe we (collectively) can help provide some clarity and prompt you to re-think some of your assumptions that are holding you back.

Oh, and another thing about depression/anxiety and their endless, negative, inner-narrative loop: like little narcissists, they actively look for proof of being right, for affirming that their screwy versions of the world are the correct ones. (I say this as someone who's dealt with both depression and anxiety off and on for most of my life.) They're the inner emotional vampires who feed on you to sabotage you. So that's why a snide, stupid Gawker article (or whatever) seems to carry so much more weight -- it's because depression and anxiety want to be right, even as they are making you miserable. You have to try to access that part of you that truly, deeply, viscerally doesn't want to be miserable, and try to stay present and mindful with THAT voice as you embark on your job search, therapy, etc. YOU want a job. YOU want meaningful personal relationships. Your depression and anxiety don't want you to have them. So every time you come up with a reason why you can't try something, it's not The Truth; it's just your depression/anxiety trying to talk you out of something you actually want.

So: every day I browse the job listing sites for anything even remotely applicable to my experience, but this only results in a few applications per week, just on sheer "what am I even qualified for" grounds, and I haven't had a job interview proper in months. This is insufficient. In the world of hiring, job sites list .01% of available positions. Identify as many potential employers as possible, check their websites or call HR for career/hiring info, and then send cover letter and resume to the appropriate contact person, whether or not there are any listed jobs. After a few days, call to confirm receipt of resume/CL. I would also encourage you to persist in looking for something in food service/retail to tide you over while you look for a job in your field. I find that with many of these kinds of jobs, your best bet is physically going into the store with your resume and talking to a manager. Do not go during busy hours. Also, if this question and your responses are any indication of your attitude towards job searching, you should work on changing it. I understand that your naysaying is based on your experience over the last few months. But the shitty thing about job searching is that you must KEEP SEARCHING until you get one. I feel for you, but the only answer is to continue persevering until you have a new job, even if it means trying the same avenue over and over until it actually works.

I've been told by friends/colleagues that I should aim higher This is just a thing people say. Frankly, I hear it a lot from older colleagues, especially bosses and boss type people. I've always chalked it up to a lack of perspective after years in a comfortable superior position. It's also a lot easier to say, "it only pays how much?" or "the hours are what?" than it is to actually hire someone, pay them a living wage, and treat them decently. Middle aged folks who've spent decades in a salaried position have no idea how hard it is to hustle for work when you're not terribly experienced. I mean, keep aiming higher, by all means. They're probably right, and eventually you'll get there. But in the mean time, don't let that bit of small talk dictate how your life should look.

Fuck Gawker. A defeatist attitude will bring you down a lot faster than a profile on LinkedIn. I know this because I personally know numerous people in this economy who have gotten work -- full-time and freelance, within a few different fields -- through LinkedIn. I want to underscore what deanc just said: But the fact is that if your instincts were so accurate and your strategies were so good, then you would have a job by now. deanc is not blaming you or criticizing you, and I hope you don't take it that way. What he is saying is that your depression and anxiety are causing you to tell yourself certain stories ("STRATEGY X won't work because REASON Y") that are actively preventing you from maximizing your chances to get a job. These stories are preventing you from getting a job because they are not the objective truth. To put it another way: you're already on a rocky path in this economy. But your anxiety and depression are telling you that the rocks in front of you are actually 100-foot sheer rock walls. Getting over the rocks -- walking around them, kicking them out of the way, whatever -- requires effort and can be tiresome, but it can be done. But if you're not a trained climber, a sheer rock wall is a permanent obstacle. You've got rocks in your way, but your brain is telling you it's a wall. It doesn't have to be this way. But you have to decide that you're finally tired enough of the inaccurate and self-sabotaging narrative playing in your head to do everything in your power to manage your anxiety and depression (which, to be honest, are at the heart of most of your questions).

I wouldn't worry too much about that gap in your resume. Just say you were laid off, because you were. Whether they just laid off you or a 1000 employees -- it doesn't matter. I think agonizing over that detail now doesn't help you in your search. Be breezy (but professional) about it when it comes up. Make some noises about organizational fit or something.

I have a LinkedIn account and my resume is on Indeed, both of which would be thoroughly humiliating if I thought anyone was ever going to see it. If you're a freelancer, you own a business. This is not the way to market a business. It sounds like you have problems with esteem and self-limiting thinking. You might take a look at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/006081862X/metafilter-20/ref=nosim/, which gave me a good kick in the pants.

You've said a lot without telling us anything about your line of work. Your profile doesn't say it, and you seem to like to tout that you are good and special at what you do and demean it by trying to not say whatever it is at all... You simultaneously don't respect yourself, yet you know that you are *better* than that.... its weird - really. If you want to wait tables, but you have no interest in the industry - there's a reason you aren't landing it. There are millions of folks that don't really care and just want a job that pays bills. The restaurateur wants to hire people who are going to improve his (or her) business. Find ways to tout your people skills, your short term memory, and maybe your agility. Definitely play up a longer-term commitment aspect. Help them want to take a chance on you. Just presenting your resume presents yourself as tone-deaf to what the position requires, and probably unlikely to actually care about the business. Remember, your idea of a good (Get Out of Debt) job as a server is actually someone's business - treat it with respect. Those low paying jobs? Folks are actually somewhat passionate about them. Some do it just for that bit of mastery that lets them feel superior about some aspect of their lives. Some do it for the schedule. Some do it for the work culture (riding fixies, drinking PBR, etc.). But most do it for one of those reasons and because they have no other options. How many people would look at what you do and just flat out assume that you have another option? If you don't - try honesty with them (find a way that the honesty includes some excitement for your new career and an understanding of why you are a good investment for that business).

The best way for many folks is to get a job through who you know--network, network, network. Join places (either professional organizations or social or religious or...) and then network there. You say you are well-respected in your field. Now is the time to go through your contact list and let everyone know that you are looking. Then contact as many folks as you can by phone (harder to duck than email) and set up "informational interviews" to have them let you know what kind of people they are looking for and offer some feedback on your resume/etc. After years of freelancing (as a writer) I decided I needed a "real" job with benefits, etc. A government job is what came to mind. I found one and have been happily employed for 11 years. I am earning a very good salary, I have great benefits and I have a level of job security and anticipated retirement security I'd never experienced before. It sounds like you are younger--would you have any interest in law enforcement? Our agency is hiring and the starting salary for a police office is $66K with health benefits and a defined benefit retirement program. Requirements are good physical health, 2 years of college, the ability to pass a variety of test (including drug and psych testing). So look at public agencies near you and see what they have. I guess what I'm saying is be creative in your thinking.